All of these platitudes are wonderful, but I'd tell girls more pragmatic things such as:

1) No glove, no love.
2) Always aim to kick the knee out sideways during a fight; and
3) Only use drugs that come from natural sources.

Anonymous[b wrote:]Be kind, and have friends who are kind[/b]. If they are not kind, they are not good friends.

For what it's worth, I don't think that "be yourself" is good advice for middle-schoolers. Part of the whole problem is that you're not sure who "yourself" is.

+1 This is the worst of what I see of the girls at our MS. They are so mean to each other as well as to some boys. It's like the meaner you are, the better you are.

What I would tell her privately I would not announce at a conference.

Get help if you are suffering. Talk to your parents or another adult and if you are very unhappy a therapist can help you through.

And take care of others. Look out for the kids who are unhappy, bullied, doing self-destructive things, struggling. You are responsible for each other.

No one wants to be the girl who peaked in middle/high school! Ok she would have to see the movie Just Friends to get that and it's probably inappropriate at this age. But seriously somehow communicating that being the girl who shines later in life is so much more rewarding.

This, too, shall pass. And if you're really miserable, we can talk about homeschool.

Be kind, and have friends who are kind. If they are not kind, they are not good friends.

For what it's worth, I don't think that "be yourself" is good advice for middle-schoolers. Part of the whole problem is that you're not sure who "yourself" is.

Anonymous wrote:

Girls who are "popular" with guys in MS get a "slut" reputation that dogs them through HS. Do not go that route.

From the age of 12 to 17, changes in a female brain makes Math harder to grasp. So, just work harder at it, get help, and do not give up on Math. Being good in Math opens up many career paths for girls.

Here are two pieces of advice I would NOT give to my middle school girl.

Anonymous wrote:
From the age of 12 to 17, changes in a female brain makes Math harder to grasp.

HUH?

Anonymous wrote:middle school and high school are but mere blips on the radar of a long and fruitful life. so many adventures await you; don't get caught up in the here of middle school emotional hardships. study hard, treat people well, emulate empathy and kindness. know that a whole world of possibilities and people await you in the future.

Love this!

If you're not sure if you want to try something / should be doing something (kissing boys, wearing makeup, shaving legs) then say "no". The beauty of no is that you can always change your mind later.
It will not be the only party you ever get invited to, the only chance to kiss a boy, etc. you'll get to make the same decision over and over.

And extra important - once you say yes, it's a one time deal. You don't have to say yes in the future. If it didn't feel right, you can say no whether you said yes the last time or the last 99 times.

Puberty does different things to everyone. Some of your friends will be tiny and some will be voluptuous. You may go through a really awkward phase where your body doesn't feel like your own. Don't try to fight it. Keep an open line of communication with your mom or another trusted adult who can reassure you that these changes are normal and hard and that you will come out of it okay.

That last part is more on the adults, but it is important.

Keep busy. Participate in every club and activity you can. This will mean that you meet more people, and you will not be with any one group of girls for too long to be sucked up in their drama.

Girls who are "popular" with guys in MS get a "slut" reputation that dogs them through HS. Do not go that route.

From the age of 12 to 17, changes in a female brain makes Math harder to grasp. So, just work harder at it, get help, and do not give up on Math. Being good in Math opens up many career paths for girls.

None of the drama will matter. It is unlikely you will ever see these people again in the future. The person bothering you the most probably has problems at home. And, most importantly, the ones bothering you the most or the ones who seem to be the most popular are going to marry early and get fat.

Anonymous wrote:If you had one piece of advice to give to a middle school girl... what would it be?

I'm helping a friend pull together a leadership conference for middle school girls for this fall, and want to see what the women on this board feel like they would have needed to hear at that age?

Absolutely don't try to change yourself for anyone. Don't try to buy clothes that everyone else is wearing. Don't try to talk like everyone else is talking. I know it is cliche, but be yourself. Don't try. Just be.

I wish I had known that in Jr. High.