There is at least one Meetup.com meetup for widows and widowers in the area. You could get questions answered there. It became busier after I dropped out, and they may do bowling nights and such nowadays.

In my experience being widowed is a lot less baggage than being divorced.

You'll be fine. However, most of the men in your dating pool will be divorced with at least one failed marriage. I would be much more concerned about their baggage than yours... Take it slow

Anonymous wrote:Do we really need to keep using the term "Widow'? It is 2017... I lost my best friend, father to my children (and husband), And- still have a full day of working and loving my children and making sure the succeed in everything they do. Doing everything kids and my husband discussed. But really? Isn't a "Widow" someone who will never marry, move on in life???

No. It is a term to separate you from the millions of other women who are no longer married, and to protect so many from having to share specifically that they lost their spouse. There is no stigma associated with it.

Do we really need to keep using the term "Widow'? It is 2017... I lost my best friend, father to my children (and husband), And- still have a full day of working and loving my children and making sure the succeed in everything they do. Doing everything kids and my husband discussed. But really? Isn't a "Widow" someone who will never marry, move on in life???

I'm a divorced single mom out there dating and met one or two widowed men. I did not think of it as more or less baggage than my own. I think it's a topic that might naturally come up, be discussed and I would assess it in the same way a man would assess the situation with my ex. If you're open to a relationship, there is a man out there for you.

Like many others have said, just take it slow. I was new to online dating and had not been in a bunch of relationships before meeting my ex. So the dating to meet new people was all new to me. There are some expert online daters out there -- that wait for someone new to join. They'll think whatever they want to think when reading about you...can't help that. Just stick to being yourself, and I do like the idea of letting the closest people in your life know that you are ready.

A family friend was widowed in her early 40s. They were a part of a social circle of all married couples. I know it was hard for her socially, as she has related to me many times about being on my own, even though the circumstances are different. She met a man in a widowers group. Each had older kids at the time, but they started as friends and are still together probably 20 years later. They do not live together and are not going to marry, but it's a relationship that works for them. They are a part of each other's family and are treated like a steparent/grandparent.

Good luck, and I'm sorry for your loss. You sound like you're ready, and I don't think the wedding ring is a red flag. I think that sounds normal.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I really wish I knew you IRL; my DH's close childhood friend is a widowed father of a 9 year old girl. I could set you up!

You sound lovely, nice, and normal. I don't think you will have any problem finding people to date. Just never feel obliged to keep going if you feel like taking a break.

I agree! OP, I'm rooting for you!

OP, I really wish I knew you IRL; my DH's close childhood friend is a widowed father of a 9 year old girl. I could set you up!

You sound lovely, nice, and normal. I don't think you will have any problem finding people to date. Just never feel obliged to keep going if you feel like taking a break.

OP here. Glad to get the male perspective - it's nice to know widowed isn't necessarily a red flag. I think sometimes that men would worry about being expected to be a father figure to my DD. Which obviously wouldn't be a factor unless everything went remarkably well for a very long time (and DD has many loving men in her life, so it's not a void I think she needs filled to be happy), but I can't fault someone for being cautious at the outset if that's not a role they want to take on.

Anonymous wrote:My BFF passed away about a year ago leaving behind her DH and 2 young children. We're still in our early 40s so I've wondered about her DH and what the future might look like for him.

I'm very sorry for your loss, PP. In my experience the second year was the worst, after the shock wore off. I hope your friend's DH has lots of patient and supportive friends and family.

Anonymous wrote:The only advice I have is to not go forward with anything that doesn't feel right just because you're worried you won't find that "someone". My youthful widowed BIL did that and it completely backfired and was awful for his kids.

I think this is a good point. I've seen it happen with divorced friends and the stakes are even higher when you're the only parent providing your child's home and family environment.

OP yes there is hope. Heck my dad, widowed last spring, has a new lady friend in his life as does my divorced mom, who recently met a male friend - they are in their 70s. The only advice I have is to not go forward with anything that doesn't feel right just because you're worried you won't find that "someone". My youthful widowed BIL did that and it completely backfired and was awful for his kids.

You are still young, and while recovery is ongoing, you will get there - maybe when you least expect it. My dad met my recently divorced stepmom when she moved in across the street from him years after my parents divorced.

Is there a dating website for widows yet? Seems like there should be one!

^ * sorry, meant 'you many not think you're turning heads'

as a divorced dad in my early 40s, I can tell you that you would absolutely fall within my 'search' categories on match.com. being a widow is certainly not baggage and in fact the fact that you're a mom (for whatever reason single), educated, professional, etc. means that chances are better you would understand my own constraints.

I will tell you that taking the time to properly heal is critical and sounds like you've not only done that but are doing a great job with your DD to celebrate the wonderful memories of your late husband - that is something I or any mature single guy will find remarkable and endearing.

so if you are in a good place mentally, and sounds like you might be, telling your friends that 'you're ready' is a good step.

the other thing is to do things that you enjoy - whatever they may b. have fun, be truly happy, and the energy around you will flow. That is what I notice about women and that plus the quiet confidence she carries is not only what turns my head but really catches my attention.

you many think you're turning heads - I would bet that you still are but just not noticing it or feeling it. once you regain your mojo, believe me, you'll see and feel the attention.

GL!!

Any widows at your DD's school? I know a Brady Bunch couple that met this way...

A close colleague in his late 30s married a widow in her late 30s-she is lovely. I don't think that fact she was a widow even entered the picture.

Nothing really to offer but best wishes. My BFF passed away about a year ago leaving behind her DH and 2 young children. We're still in our early 40s so I've wondered about her DH and what the future might look like for him.

OP -

I'm a guy who's a couple of years older than you. Although I'm married, I just wanted to say that if I were looking right now the fact that you are a widow with a child would not be "disqualifying" factors.

Good luck!