Anonymous wrote:The pp cannot be Jewish. Going to Israel isn't a vacation. Yes, there are beaches and places to relax, but it is a religious and cultural experience that rivals no other in my opinion.

Our sons are young but DH and I have been considering this option.

Very true. It also happens to be quite expensive to fly over there, so it is quite funny that OP thought of it as a low-key alternative to an over-the-board bar mitzvah here.

Perhaps, hmmm, an authentic celebration here, donating those saved thousands of dollars to the temple or a worthy cause?

Anonymous wrote:Just don't expect anyone to come along unless you are paying. No guilt tripping your siblings into attending etc.

I'd go even further and say if you want to do this, just have it be your immediate family.

Offering to pay is almost furthering the guilt trip. My brother's family is doing this, and I don't want them to pay for such an expensive vacation for us. Perhaps there are other ways people do this, but I'm only familiar with their plan which is a 10 day group bus tour with the ceremony at the end. However, I don't want to spend the money myself. I don't want to use up a year's worth of family vacation time on this trip. I don't want to spend 50+ hours on planes, bus tours, and historical tours with my small kids who won't even remember any of it. (Nor do I want to leave them with a sitter for 10 days)

I'm seriously considering just flying over myself for two days for the ceremony, which seems the best way to keep family peace.

The pp cannot be Jewish. Going to Israel isn't a vacation. Yes, there are beaches and places to relax, but it is a religious and cultural experience that rivals no other in my opinion.

Our sons are young but DH and I have been considering this option.