Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously he is still holding on to his wife for some reason. He could very well be using you for sex and perhaps just a little life excitement but have zero intention of marrying you or being with you in public.

Tell his wife. How he respouunds will tell you what his intentions are for your relationship. I know someone who has been with a married man for ten years, so 3.5 years means nothing.

I am not going to tell her. I just found out she recently had a baby. No need to hurt her. I have the opportunity to move this summer and I think I will. I am in my 20's so 3.5 yrs isn't nothing to me. As for public we are always out in public and he takes me on vacation, pays my bills etc. But thank you for all of your input.

What is hurting her is that her husband is sleeping around with other women, betraying her, and possibly bringing diseases home and giving them to her and maybe to her baby.

I was in a similar situation. Met him before he was married or engaged and we fell madly in love. Fairy tale romance, love at first sight, etc. We wanted to get married but his family resisted due to my race (white) so he married her. We stayed together and it wasn't easy but made easier because he didn't love her and she was barely around. When the time came when I decided that I wanted more (marriage, babies) we decided to cut ties. We tried to be friends but I didn't want to hear about his life and he didn't want to hear about mine so we had to cut all contact with each other. We loved each other so desperately that a year later my heart still hurts for him.

So in answer to your question...you already know that being with him is wrong, you already have that guilt and the pain of
Knowing you will never be together. You already know that cutting all contact with him is the right thing to do and that contacting his wife won't solve anything. What you don't know and are asking is how will you ever stop loving this man even though he put you through hell. A year later I still ask myself that same question. Good luck

Thank you all for your advice. Some of it is hard to hear, but I needed to hear it. I will talk to him tomorrow.

Well just think about this. He wasn't in love with you if he got his wife pregnant and now has a new baby with her.

You need to end it. If he was in love with you he would have ended his marriage a long time ago. What you are doing is not fair to his wife nor to you.

Also, telling his wife is a horrible idea. End the relationship and let the rest go.

He has no integrity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously he is still holding on to his wife for some reason. He could very well be using you for sex and perhaps just a little life excitement but have zero intention of marrying you or being with you in public.

Tell his wife. How he respouunds will tell you what his intentions are for your relationship. I know someone who has been with a married man for ten years, so 3.5 years means nothing.

I am not going to tell her. I just found out she recently had a baby. No need to hurt her. I have the opportunity to move this summer and I think I will. I am in my 20's so 3.5 yrs isn't nothing to me. As for public we are always out in public and he takes me on vacation, pays my bills etc. But thank you for all of your input.

Oh honey, you are just his whore. He doesn't love you. Change your number and move on.

Ew what a slimeball. He's dating you for 3.5 years and taking you out in public while also getting his wife pregnant and having a kid? How absent was he from his wife's life while she was pregnant? That poor kid is going to have a lot of emotional baggage.

Seriously, just knowing this about him would be enough for me to get over him. Do you really want to be in love with such a sleezy, slimeball, asshole?

Anonymous wrote:OP, if this has been going on for 3.5 years and he has been taking you "out in public," I would bet anything his wife already knows all about it.

I agree. D.C. isn't that big.

So, you "just found out" that his wife recently had a baby?

What does this tell you about his character?

Have one conversation with him to end it, then cut off all contact. But don't say you are going to do it if you aren't.

OP, if this has been going on for 3.5 years and he has been taking you "out in public," I would bet anything his wife already knows all about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously he is still holding on to his wife for some reason. He could very well be using you for sex and perhaps just a little life excitement but have zero intention of marrying you or being with you in public.

Tell his wife. How he respouunds will tell you what his intentions are for your relationship. I know someone who has been with a married man for ten years, so 3.5 years means nothing.

I am not going to tell her. I just found out she recently had a baby. No need to hurt her. I have the opportunity to move this summer and I think I will. I am in my 20's so 3.5 yrs isn't nothing to me. As for public we are always out in public and he takes me on vacation, pays my bills etc. But thank you for all of your input.

That the part that makes it a harder for some women to leave--when the married man doesn't hide you and is proud to take you out in public, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Obviously he is still holding on to his wife for some reason. He could very well be using you for sex and perhaps just a little life excitement but have zero intention of marrying you or being with you in public.

Tell his wife. How he respouunds will tell you what his intentions are for your relationship. I know someone who has been with a married man for ten years, so 3.5 years means nothing.

I am not going to tell her. I just found out she recently had a baby. No need to hurt her. I have the opportunity to move this summer and I think I will. I am in my 20's so 3.5 yrs isn't nothing to me. As for public we are always out in public and he takes me on vacation, pays my bills etc. But thank you for all of your input.

You deserve better than this slimey gross cheater. You deserve someone who will put you first and fully commit to you.

Do not talk to him as PPs have recommended.

Maybe some talk therapy to figure out why you are attracted to a man who isn't available.

There is no need to tell his wife. That's just spite. Quit talking to him, move to another area if you have to, and get on with your life.