if you are legally married, the only filing options are married filing jointly or married filing separately.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all.

Apparently, "married" for tax purposes is based on state law; MD says I am "unmarried" for this purpose since ex - H didn't live here in 2013.

Thanks for the advice - I am going to go ahead and file HOH and pay half of his net liability to "keep the peace."

I think you're wrong on the marital status.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all.

Apparently, "married" for tax purposes is based on state law; MD says I am "unmarried" for this purpose since ex - H didn't live here in 2013.

Thanks for the advice - I am going to go ahead and file HOH and pay half of his net liability to "keep the peace."

Well, you know it won't keep the peace since he still owes the other half. Your loser DH thus will continue to harbor animosity towards you about this every year and bitch endlessly to your kids about it. I don't think he deserves any of that money but my sister was murdered by her DH last year and he blamed her for everything, including his financial situation. That's why I suggested you cover his liability. Get out of this marriage before he starts making physical threats.

I have more than 51% custody (5 days a week vs. my ex's two) so I file HOHH and take the dependent exemption and the child-care deduction.

I have friends who split custody 50/50 so they trade off who gets the kid deduction. Or people with two kids will split the kids for tax deduction purposes.

Or you could both do your taxes with and without the kids and see what produces the best net effect, and then money can change hands between you two. I suggested this to a friend to whom the deduction means a lot more for her than for her ex.

Thanks all.

Apparently, "married" for tax purposes is based on state law; MD says I am "unmarried" for this purpose since ex - H didn't live here in 2013.

Thanks for the advice - I am going to go ahead and file HOH and pay half of his net liability to "keep the peace."

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you are selfish, but I do agree with other posters that per the IRS rules, you might not qualify as HOH.

+1

I don't think you are selfish, but I do agree with other posters that per the IRS rules, you might not qualify as HOH.

^^and forgot to say if you are doing more of the financial and childcare, then forget the squaring up part.

My parents separated in the 70s, and my mom didn't want to file for divorce because neither was dating and she is Catholic and old school and didn't believe in divorce. But my dad kept claiming Head of Household, so that is what got her to finally file. It was killing her, tax-wise, to claim as second income (or whatever you call it).

It is not selfish on your part. Assuming both are contributing equally with finances and child care, then it should go to the person who can get the most of a break, and then I think the that person could square the other up proportionally.

In particular make sure you read this:
Considered married.
You are considered married for the whole year if, on the last day of your tax year, you and your spouse meet any one of the following tests.
You are married and living together.
You are living together in a common law marriage recognized in the state where you now live or in the state where the common law marriage began.
You are married and living apart but not legally separated under a decree of divorce or separate maintenance.
You are separated under an interlocutory (not final) decree of divorce.

Make sure you review the IRS guidelines regarding if you can file Head-of-household or not. Do you have a separation or divorce decree? If not I think you can only file Married Filing Joint or Married Filing Separately. http://www.irs.gov/publications/p501/ar02.html#en_US_2013_publink1000220722

If his liability is less than your refund, why don't you just cover 100% of his liability for the sake of family peace. You would owe otherwise. Don't make your DCs have to listen to your DH complaining about how you are screwing him every other weekend.