Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks~

Her people skills are really really good already. She has a part time job as a hostess at a restaurant on the weekends, and really enjoys being around people ALL the time. She's really chatty, even with adults who are total strangers.

So while she does not have the intelligence, she definitely has other gifts...(and beauty, which honestly I know will help her out!-does that sound awful too?? lol)

I grew up in a blue collar community. Stuff that young women who weren't cut out for school, but had good people skills did -- EMT (who eventually went on to be a paramedic), hair dresser (who went on to own her own salon), secretary, dance teacher, nanny, daycare worker (who went on to manage the entire daycare), police officer, probation officer, drug/alcohol counselor, lawn business, cleaning business, photographer (who went on to own her own photography business doing weddings and such).

A four year degree isn't for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks~

Her people skills are really really good already. She has a part time job as a hostess at a restaurant on the weekends, and really enjoys being around people ALL the time. She's really chatty, even with adults who are total strangers.

So while she does not have the intelligence, she definitely has other gifts...(and beauty, which honestly I know will help her out!-does that sound awful too?? lol)

Anonymous wrote:I was off put by the SN posting as well, except that the post mentioned ADHD, so I got over it. What I'm more offended by is the presumption that none of the OP's overachieving family- or none of the DCUM responders - could possibly be of low-average intelligence. Guess what, the law of averages suggests otherwise.

In my own family growing up as one of three kids, one kid tested gifted and went Ivy; other two didn't. Everyone struggled along the way; everyone today has an advanced degrees, successful careers and happy lives. The last part is really all that matters, and there is no IQ test required for happiness.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you might be surprised by what she ends up capable of doing. I have an adopted brother who sounds similar: low average intelligence, plus some LDs. He struggled at a state college but made it through and now is doing incredibly well in a job where his empathy and people skills really matter. Some similar issues for him, in that everyone else in the family is a super-high-achiever, ivy league schools and tall that. But he is happy and making a very decent income for someone his age. Not everyone is going to be a rocket scientist, but i wouldn't asume your DD won't similarly be able to find a niche in which she is happy and self-supporting and contributing to th world...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks~

Her people skills are really really good already. She has a part time job as a hostess at a restaurant on the weekends, and really enjoys being around people ALL the time. She's really chatty, even with adults who are total strangers.

So while she does not have the intelligence, she definitely has other gifts...(and beauty, which honestly I know will help her out!-does that sound awful too?? lol)

Know someone like this...they went to hospitality school and now have a great job at the New York yacht club as manager of something.

Good looks and people skills can go a long way. Also many 16 yos suck a details. It wasn't something I learned until had my first job and had to face bigger consequences (embarrassment of misprint in company publication etc).

Anonymous wrote:Stop limiting her before you even know what she's capable of the workplace. Social skills count for a lot. How do you know she won't be able to do a corporate job?

Anonymous wrote:Thanks~

Her people skills are really really good already. She has a part time job as a hostess at a restaurant on the weekends, and really enjoys being around people ALL the time. She's really chatty, even with adults who are total strangers.

So while she does not have the intelligence, she definitely has other gifts...(and beauty, which honestly I know will help her out!-does that sound awful too?? lol)

Anonymous wrote:My brother found out the same thing about his daughter during neuropsych testing for another issue. My brother was a math prodigy and an academic superstar but his daughter was failing algebra at the time and had to leave her top private school b/c she could not keep up academically even with lots help at school and outside tutoring.

It took awhile but everyone in our family came to the realization that academics isn't everything. My niece is a delight to be around. Makes everyone around her laugh and feel good. People want to be around her which in itself is a gift and in many ways makes for a happier life.

Anonymous wrote:She will be fine. There are plenty, I mean PLENTY of low average people in jobs all over corporate America. Living in the DC area where people are so competitive and achievement oriented gives you a skewed sense of what kind of life someone should strive for.

Here are some career options that aren't super lucrative but that can be fulfilling and people I know in these careers have good and happy lives.

1. Is she fashionable and into clothing? There are careers in retail. I used to work in corporate HR for a large, well respected retail company. She could get into retail management. Most of the managers I dealt with there were low average intelligence. Sure, she will always have to work black Friday and the day after Christmas, but it isn't so bad.

2. Nursery School teacher, if she likes children. The nursery teachers I know are incredibly happy with their jobs and vary widely in range of intelligence. Some went to smaller regional colleges and some have advanced degrees from Ivy League schools. The one thing they all have in common is that little people truly make them happy and they love helping them meet developmental milestones and love teaching them how to socialize with peers. It isn't rocket science if you have good management and a strong educational foundation.

3. Dental Hygenist. Check out the median pay: http://www.bls.gov/ooh/healthcare/dental-hygienists.htm
She doesn't even need a BA, though, if your family has the means, she should certainly have one.

4.Property Management. I have friends from high school who work for property management companies in various sales and admin roles. They make between 60-75k and some are of low average intelligence and they are successful and happy. They will never be the big boss and they are ok with that.

If she needs a lot of support, find her a smaller college (not a party place though - avoid cities like New Orleans, Charleston, etc) where she will have individual attention and professors who will encourage her.

Some colleges to consider (that aren't too far from here):

Lynchburg College
McDaniel College
Goucher College
Lycoming College
Hood College

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Posting in "special needs" because your daughter is of average intelligence? Lady, your kid sounds normal and actually quite gifted in some ways (beautiful, extroverted, social skills, born into a well off family). You need to dial back the judgment and hovering and let her take off as an adult. It sounds like you can afford to help her with college, so do that - focus on getting her into a college that she can graduate from and is a good fit. There is still a massive wage gap between college and no college. After that, chill the fuck out and let go.