Anonymous
Post 02/14/2014 06:52     Subject: Re:From a special ed teacher....
^ amen.

Had 2 kids and a full time job and life was crazy! Had my SN 3rd kid and my life fell apart in so many ways. The worry never goes away. The stress is constant. Personally, it's the first thing that I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I fall asleep. It strains my marriage, it unfairly takes time away from my other children.

I truly wish it was a requirement that IEP teams included at least one teacher who was a parent of a SN kid. I know it's unrealistic but I swear it would make such a difference.

It's funny how just one moment of empathy, encouragement, or kindness from an IEP team can make such a difference.
I haven't experienced it very much, but when I have, it's been a really big deal.

I actually woke up this morning at 5am, and as usual, thinking about my daughter. And the second thought in my head was a remaining sick feeling from the PP principal's post. It still is sitting over me like a dark cloud from reading it last night.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2014 01:52     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:Listen, I hear your apology and understand your frustration. I have seen it hard to get families to understand the gravity of the IEP situation and their child's needs. I didn't know you didn't teach in this area. However, since you don't work in this area you have no idea the kind of animal that the families living in the DC metro area are. I will gladly work with Title 1 over families of means that hire lawyers and advocates and harass special ed staff for more services. Now granted, some of these parents are wonderful and extremely involved (n a very good way) an write me wonderful thank you notes, it just takes one or two bad ones that will sour you. I have had to sit in mediation and sit on trials because of some "involved" families along with the rest of my staff that took hours and days away from other students. And it was not because we provided sub par services.
Usually my Title 1 families are LES. Some are not though. Since I now work directly in the home (as opposed to directly in the school) I am more familiar with their trials and tribulations. And have had to call social workers and what not and do get frustrated with some of the things I see. But do realized, the same folks who work in some of the pricier areas experience frustrations as well - just a different type usually - and yes, social workers and what not have had to be called, just the same.

While I don' have a child with special needs I just work with them. I can't imagine what it is like. I truly admire those families that are involved, interested and work with the school system, and even question the school system in order to get the best for their child. I have seen that in both families of means as well as title 1.



You do not get it till you live it. It is very very different when it is your child. You do not have the fears of not knowing if your child will be ok as an adult. You do not have the worries of how to pay for services. You do not have the huge pay cut from having to leave your inflexible job as your child comes first. While others are on play dates, you are going from therapy session to therapy session. You spend hours on the phone with insurance. You have to make choices of therapy and basic necessities. You go without so your child can get those therapies. Your friends talk about their new coach bag and you happily use a walmart bag. You friends go on vacation. You go to speech, ot, pt and aba therapy. You have no idea just going into a home for a few hours what life is really like. I love my child and I would and will do everything I can. He is a blessing and my heart. I have no regrets except for every time I have to deal with someone like you. You can help, support and care but until you have been there and done that, drop the arrogance.


These families are overwhelmed and are probably just trying to feed their kids every day. Support them instead of criticizing. You very easily could have a special needs child and may be in their shoes one day.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 23:58     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Listen, I hear your apology and understand your frustration. I have seen it hard to get families to understand the gravity of the IEP situation and their child's needs. I didn't know you didn't teach in this area. However, since you don't work in this area you have no idea the kind of animal that the families living in the DC metro area are. I will gladly work with Title 1 over families of means that hire lawyers and advocates and harass special ed staff for more services. Now granted, some of these parents are wonderful and extremely involved (n a very good way) an write me wonderful thank you notes, it just takes one or two bad ones that will sour you. I have had to sit in mediation and sit on trials because of some "involved" families along with the rest of my staff that took hours and days away from other students. And it was not because we provided sub par services.
Usually my Title 1 families are LES. Some are not though. Since I now work directly in the home (as opposed to directly in the school) I am more familiar with their trials and tribulations. And have had to call social workers and what not and do get frustrated with some of the things I see. But do realized, the same folks who work in some of the pricier areas experience frustrations as well - just a different type usually - and yes, social workers and what not have had to be called, just the same.

While I don' have a child with special needs I just work with them. I can't imagine what it is like. I truly admire those families that are involved, interested and work with the school system, and even question the school system in order to get the best for their child. I have seen that in both families of means as well as title 1.


So...generally speaking, DC area parents are animals, who harass you and demand unreasonable services? And, its okay that one or two "bad ones" can sour YOU, but not okay that families who have one or two bad IEP team experiences get soured? And when you have to sit in meetings and go to mediation or a trial, it is ALWAYS the fault of the families, because you NEVER have provided sub par services? I think you ought to listen to yourself and realize the amount of judgement and poor attitude you have toward your families. And trust me, we can FEEL it. We feel it in a tangible way, every single day. Maybe that is why you dont get as many thank you notes as you do problems. In my experiences over many many years of IEP teams, I have had those years where a particular staff person has been AMAZING, warm, empathetic, and doing everything they can to help and meet my kid's needs. But man, are there years where the IEP teams are animals. And mind you, animals with an ARMY of lawyers behind them in the form of a giant school system with on-retainer lawyers. But god forbid a family get a lawyer, too, right?
Maybe if you had an SN child, you might open up your mind a bit and expand your viewpoint.


There are bad apples on both sides. Some bad special ed people and some bad lawyers/bad meetings. Goes both ways.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 23:25     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you ever happy with special ed teachers? I mean every other post on this forum is a bash in one way or another of a sped teacher!!


My guess is that the overwhelming number of people who come to an SN board to post to ask questions and get support are those having problems getting what their kid needs.
Its not representative of ALL families of SN kids, its a forum of people who generally speaking, are struggling with getting their kids services. You're not going to create a support board for SN parents and have it be full of "I love my IEP team!" posts. Its to be expected.



That definitely makes sense. It wouldn't be much of a support board if you only posted positive situations! It's just so hard for me to read the posts about poor ESE teachers and situations. It's almost hard for me to believe because I honestly can't imagine. This is not a field to go in for any other reason than LOVE of the profession. This may sound cheesier than ever, but students with SN give me way more than I can every give to them and that is why adore my job so much. I am there to first be an advocate for your student and secondly an advocate for you, the parent. I can't imagine being in an IEP meeting where the parent reluctantly signed away something they didn't like! You are as equal a member of the IEP team as anyone else and therefore you have equal input. Don't ever let members of the team feel like you can't have a say in what goes into that plan!! Speak up, be proactive, and support the best way you can and like I said your child's teacher should THANK YOU for being an active part.


Who are you and please come work for FCPS!
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 23:20     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you ever happy with special ed teachers? I mean every other post on this forum is a bash in one way or another of a sped teacher!!


My guess is that the overwhelming number of people who come to an SN board to post to ask questions and get support are those having problems getting what their kid needs.
Its not representative of ALL families of SN kids, its a forum of people who generally speaking, are struggling with getting their kids services. You're not going to create a support board for SN parents and have it be full of "I love my IEP team!" posts. Its to be expected.



That definitely makes sense. It wouldn't be much of a support board if you only posted positive situations! It's just so hard for me to read the posts about poor ESE teachers and situations. It's almost hard for me to believe because I honestly can't imagine. This is not a field to go in for any other reason than LOVE of the profession. This may sound cheesier than ever, but students with SN give me way more than I can every give to them and that is why adore my job so much. I am there to first be an advocate for your student and secondly an advocate for you, the parent. I can't imagine being in an IEP meeting where the parent reluctantly signed away something they didn't like! You are as equal a member of the IEP team as anyone else and therefore you have equal input. Don't ever let members of the team feel like you can't have a say in what goes into that plan!! Speak up, be proactive, and support the best way you can and like I said your child's teacher should THANK YOU for being an active part.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 22:41     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you ever happy with special ed teachers? I mean every other post on this forum is a bash in one way or another of a sped teacher!!


My guess is that the overwhelming number of people who come to an SN board to post to ask questions and get support are those having problems getting what their kid needs.
Its not representative of ALL families of SN kids, its a forum of people who generally speaking, are struggling with getting their kids services. You're not going to create a support board for SN parents and have it be full of "I love my IEP team!" posts. Its to be expected.

Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 22:35     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you ever happy with special ed teachers? I mean every other post on this forum is a bash in one way or another of a sped teacher!!


I adore our IEP team, and I've said it on this board a lot of times.


+1. We are so lucky to have an amazing team that really cares for our son. Every special ed teacher and IEP team we've had so far has been caring, dedicated, and extremely hard working ( I know my child is not an easy kid). I am soooo grateful and thank those who have taken on this work. Know you have really make a difference in the lives of our kids. Thank you!
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 22:25     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would kill to have parents like you all for the kids I teach.
I work at a low-income school, where parents not only don't ever come to IEP meetings or re-evals, but they never even answer phone calls or return paperwork. I've held 10 IEP meetings this year, and two parents have come. My students have support from me and other staff, but collaboration with their home situations is impossible. I try to be the best advocate I can for my students, but that often only lasts until 4pm and they go home. I would be SO HAPPY to have wonderful, supportive, engaged, and even overprotective parents like you all in my school.
Keep doing what you're doing, parents. Keep being your child(ren)'s biggest advocate and support. The teachers who have your kids should be happy to have parents who care and should thank you everyday for being an important part of their education!!


Thank you. You made my day, my night, my week, my year.


I know, right? Me too. Doing this advocating for my kid stuff all day, every day for years is exhausting. Its nice to hear someone on the inside provide a bit of encouragement. Its not often that we hear stuff like this. So thank you, truly.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 22:23     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:I would kill to have parents like you all for the kids I teach.
I work at a low-income school, where parents not only don't ever come to IEP meetings or re-evals, but they never even answer phone calls or return paperwork. I've held 10 IEP meetings this year, and two parents have come. My students have support from me and other staff, but collaboration with their home situations is impossible. I try to be the best advocate I can for my students, but that often only lasts until 4pm and they go home. I would be SO HAPPY to have wonderful, supportive, engaged, and even overprotective parents like you all in my school.
Keep doing what you're doing, parents. Keep being your child(ren)'s biggest advocate and support. The teachers who have your kids should be happy to have parents who care and should thank you everyday for being an important part of their education!!


Thank you. You made my day, my night, my week, my year.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 22:23     Subject: Re:From a special ed teacher....
^^ And as an afterthought, this is a parents board, for parents of special needs kids. This is a support board. I dont find it particularly acceptable for you to be ON this board, nor commenting, as you are not a parent of a special needs kid.

I dont have any issue with a non-parent posting (a special ed teacher etc) if the post is supportive. But frankly, we families of SN kids have to deal with enough school negativity toward us which is hugely widespread, and this support board is where we come to share our experiences and try to work through this incredibly complicated system. Its not a place where we should have to listen to you re-hash the negativity you put out there toward us every day.

So go away.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 22:18     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:Listen, I hear your apology and understand your frustration. I have seen it hard to get families to understand the gravity of the IEP situation and their child's needs. I didn't know you didn't teach in this area. However, since you don't work in this area you have no idea the kind of animal that the families living in the DC metro area are. I will gladly work with Title 1 over families of means that hire lawyers and advocates and harass special ed staff for more services. Now granted, some of these parents are wonderful and extremely involved (n a very good way) an write me wonderful thank you notes, it just takes one or two bad ones that will sour you. I have had to sit in mediation and sit on trials because of some "involved" families along with the rest of my staff that took hours and days away from other students. And it was not because we provided sub par services.
Usually my Title 1 families are LES. Some are not though. Since I now work directly in the home (as opposed to directly in the school) I am more familiar with their trials and tribulations. And have had to call social workers and what not and do get frustrated with some of the things I see. But do realized, the same folks who work in some of the pricier areas experience frustrations as well - just a different type usually - and yes, social workers and what not have had to be called, just the same.

While I don' have a child with special needs I just work with them. I can't imagine what it is like. I truly admire those families that are involved, interested and work with the school system, and even question the school system in order to get the best for their child. I have seen that in both families of means as well as title 1.


So...generally speaking, DC area parents are animals, who harass you and demand unreasonable services? And, its okay that one or two "bad ones" can sour YOU, but not okay that families who have one or two bad IEP team experiences get soured? And when you have to sit in meetings and go to mediation or a trial, it is ALWAYS the fault of the families, because you NEVER have provided sub par services? I think you ought to listen to yourself and realize the amount of judgement and poor attitude you have toward your families. And trust me, we can FEEL it. We feel it in a tangible way, every single day. Maybe that is why you dont get as many thank you notes as you do problems. In my experiences over many many years of IEP teams, I have had those years where a particular staff person has been AMAZING, warm, empathetic, and doing everything they can to help and meet my kid's needs. But man, are there years where the IEP teams are animals. And mind you, animals with an ARMY of lawyers behind them in the form of a giant school system with on-retainer lawyers. But god forbid a family get a lawyer, too, right?
Maybe if you had an SN child, you might open up your mind a bit and expand your viewpoint.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 21:37     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you ever happy with special ed teachers? I mean every other post on this forum is a bash in one way or another of a sped teacher!!


I adore our IEP team, and I've said it on this board a lot of times.


Great!!


+1 Thanks! We love hearing that! It's such a challenging job (that I adore) and love to hear when parents are happy!
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 21:35     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you ever happy with special ed teachers? I mean every other post on this forum is a bash in one way or another of a sped teacher!!


I adore our IEP team, and I've said it on this board a lot of times.


Great!!
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 21:33     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you ever happy with special ed teachers? I mean every other post on this forum is a bash in one way or another of a sped teacher!!


I adore our IEP team, and I've said it on this board a lot of times.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2014 21:26     Subject: From a special ed teacher....
Listen, I hear your apology and understand your frustration. I have seen it hard to get families to understand the gravity of the IEP situation and their child's needs. I didn't know you didn't teach in this area. However, since you don't work in this area you have no idea the kind of animal that the families living in the DC metro area are. I will gladly work with Title 1 over families of means that hire lawyers and advocates and harass special ed staff for more services. Now granted, some of these parents are wonderful and extremely involved (n a very good way) an write me wonderful thank you notes, it just takes one or two bad ones that will sour you. I have had to sit in mediation and sit on trials because of some "involved" families along with the rest of my staff that took hours and days away from other students. And it was not because we provided sub par services.
Usually my Title 1 families are LES. Some are not though. Since I now work directly in the home (as opposed to directly in the school) I am more familiar with their trials and tribulations. And have had to call social workers and what not and do get frustrated with some of the things I see. But do realized, the same folks who work in some of the pricier areas experience frustrations as well - just a different type usually - and yes, social workers and what not have had to be called, just the same.

While I don' have a child with special needs I just work with them. I can't imagine what it is like. I truly admire those families that are involved, interested and work with the school system, and even question the school system in order to get the best for their child. I have seen that in both families of means as well as title 1.