Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 10:52     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
To my child's teacher,

Yes, you had our email address WRONG for the first five months of school. I had to send you about 4,000 email in late January to finally get you to realize it. You fought me tooth and nail. You also kept telling me, "I wish you had brought this to my attention sooner." WEll, guess what, I couldn't, b/c I didn't know I wasn't even getting ANY EMAILS, b/c you sent them to the wrong EMAIL ADDRESS!! Did you not get a "message not sent" reply or something like that? If so, did you DO something about it? So yeah, I am TICKED that it took me, wondering if I was going crazy, to do a LOT of research, to figure out what the heck was going on, to finally ascertain that, lo and behold, it was you, stupid you, who had had our email address WRONG for the first five months of school.

And oh yeah, you have not once apologized.

and, if anyone on here is wondering if my tone was the same when I dealt with the teacher, no, it wasn't, it was sickly sweet and not accusatory, very sycophantic, b/c I did not want her to retaliate against my DD in any way.

Even though she is the one who made the mistake in the first place!

So yeah, DD's K teacher, you ARE my enemy.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 10:46     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
And even if it were true that gifted kids would do fine on their own (which, per PP, it totally ISN'T) -- how pathetic is it that we aren't even trying to teach them? Why not just send them to the library all day and have them teach themselves? That's what they're doing anyway at school. At least at the library it's quiet and they can concentrate.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 10:44     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
to: 8:04
Myth:

Gifted Students Don’t Need Help; They’ll Do Fine On Their Own


Truth:
Would you send a star athlete to train for the Olympics without a coach? Gifted students need guidance from well-trained teachers who challenge and support them in order to fully develop their abilities. Many gifted students may be so far ahead of their same-age peers that they know more than half of the grade-level curriculum before the school year begins. Their resulting boredom and frustration can lead to low achievement, despondency, or unhealthy work habits. The role of the teacher is crucial for spotting and nurturing talents in school.

http://www.nagc.org/commonmyths.aspx

Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 10:25     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:
-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????



I am a parent at a close-in public school. We have experienced teachers that called our "DC" "not that bright" and said that DC's problem was "lack of motivation" and not the unchallenging teaching environment. But, I suppose you call that "skewed expectations". (Although, the IQ testing did bear our parental view out and showed that YOUR view was wrong.)

We asked for an IEP and "special instruction" to help our gifted child with a learning disability. You said that our child didn't have a learning disability and that our DC just needed to "take more pride and ownership in his work." I suppose you thought we had an "expectation of treatment without a valid reason." After we had our testing updated (at a cost of thousands of dollars), the testing showed that our DC does indeed have a learning disability and needs special instruction and accommodations in a few areas. You, however, refuse to provide it. (I think because you think that you are already a "good teacher" and don't actually know more than one way to teach the material.)

We tried to provide suggestions about alternative ways to present material to our DC. Some of it came from publicly available teacher websites, because we wanted you to see that you could actually spend a few minutes online and find these resources yourself. Some of it came from educational websites about "best practices." I suppose you thought we were "constantly trying to alter the way you do things." Yes, we were. That is the point of special instruction -- to alter the way of teaching so that the student can have access to the material.

Finally, we gave up and left your school. When neighborhood parents approach us and tell us they miss us and ask why we left, we are honest. We had a very bad year with our last teacher. The teacher and the school couldn't meet the very basic needs of our child, and so we left. When we are honest about *our* experience, we start to hear about the bad experiences that other students had with you. I suppose, if this got back to you, that you thought we were criticizing and down-talking you. Perhaps we were, but we spent months trying to work in a positive way with you, spent thousands of dollars we didn't have to identify our child for the IEP and for tutors to provide instruction you were unwilling or unable to provide. Good word of mouth is earned. (By contrast, when people ask us about the teacher DC had the year before you and the year after you, we sing their praises. They were GREAT teachers -- willing to treat us as partners, willing to alter instruction, and saw our DC as capable.)

Now that DC is in a new school, testing shows that he has made more progress in three months than he made in the entire last year with you. He is very happy and loves school again.

The last line of your post is very revealing. You say you don't have kids of your own. Teachers don't have to have kids to be good teachers. But, it sure helps. You may know more about education than your student's parents, but isn't it a bit presumptuous of you to assume that you know more about their kids than they do?


Bravo, PP. You said really well what many of us have experienced. It's killing me that I can't afford to get my kid out of this environment.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 10:21     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Dear Teacher,

I am the mom of two kids who are in magnet schools. My kids are in magnet programs thanks to the teachers who showed us the way and encouraged them to work hard. And these were teachers in regular schools, where FARMS and ESOL was at 80%.

How are my kids faring in these programs where the rest of the kids have come from schools in the "W" clusters or from other magnet programs. Surprisingly well.

Teachers compliment me for raising such good kids, and I am surprised because my kids are ordinary. Teachers have to tolerate badly behaved kids as well as parents. Once I asked a teacher how does she come to work everyday when she has such ill mannered students to work with. And she said "I keep telling myself, its just a job!"

I have had my share of complaints with the school system, but usually it is the process, curriculum or policy. It has never been a teacher.

I agree, for many things that are frustrating for the parents ...teachers are not the ones causing these issues.

- Grateful parent on an anonymous board.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 09:59     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:
-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????



I am a parent at a close-in public school. We have experienced teachers that called our "DC" "not that bright" and said that DC's problem was "lack of motivation" and not the unchallenging teaching environment. But, I suppose you call that "skewed expectations". (Although, the IQ testing did bear our parental view out and showed that YOUR view was wrong.)

We asked for an IEP and "special instruction" to help our gifted child with a learning disability. You said that our child didn't have a learning disability and that our DC just needed to "take more pride and ownership in his work." I suppose you thought we had an "expectation of treatment without a valid reason." After we had our testing updated (at a cost of thousands of dollars), the testing showed that our DC does indeed have a learning disability and needs special instruction and accommodations in a few areas. You, however, refuse to provide it. (I think because you think that you are already a "good teacher" and don't actually know more than one way to teach the material.)

We tried to provide suggestions about alternative ways to present material to our DC. Some of it came from publicly available teacher websites, because we wanted you to see that you could actually spend a few minutes online and find these resources yourself. Some of it came from educational websites about "best practices." I suppose you thought we were "constantly trying to alter the way you do things." Yes, we were. That is the point of special instruction -- to alter the way of teaching so that the student can have access to the material.

Finally, we gave up and left your school. When neighborhood parents approach us and tell us they miss us and ask why we left, we are honest. We had a very bad year with our last teacher. The teacher and the school couldn't meet the very basic needs of our child, and so we left. When we are honest about *our* experience, we start to hear about the bad experiences that other students had with you. I suppose, if this got back to you, that you thought we were criticizing and down-talking you. Perhaps we were, but we spent months trying to work in a positive way with you, spent thousands of dollars we didn't have to identify our child for the IEP and for tutors to provide instruction you were unwilling or unable to provide. Good word of mouth is earned. (By contrast, when people ask us about the teacher DC had the year before you and the year after you, we sing their praises. They were GREAT teachers -- willing to treat us as partners, willing to alter instruction, and saw our DC as capable.)

Now that DC is in a new school, testing shows that he has made more progress in three months than he made in the entire last year with you. He is very happy and loves school again.

The last line of your post is very revealing. You say you don't have kids of your own. Teachers don't have to have kids to be good teachers. But, it sure helps. You may know more about education than your student's parents, but isn't it a bit presumptuous of you to assume that you know more about their kids than they do?
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 09:48     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Completely agree with 8:29-

Saying you hate it when parents want their kids placed in higher level classes than what they are capable is really an arrogant statement. When you have 30 kids in your classroom, how do you really know the capabilities of each student?

I as a parent will move mountains to ensure that my kids are prepared for class. If my kid has an average IQ and works twice as hard as the other kids in the class but at the end of the day also earns an A, what's your beef?

I get it that some parents are entitled and want special treatment for their snowflakes in the advanced class. That would irk me too. If I'm not asking for special treatment, what's wrong with giving my DS a chance?

Signed-

A mom whose kids always earn straight A's but still has to fight like hell with teachers like you to keep in them in the highest levels.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 09:44     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:

My child is a student at a close in school. You sound like some of the teachers I encounter. You hurt and not help.

**I push for my child to be in advanced sections because the basic curriculum as presented is so easy that when provided a workbook from the store that is her same grade level, the workbook has harder problems. These are your generic workbooks one can find at the Barnes and Noble and are slated as "practice". I would rather my child be presented with advanced work and do ok than easy work and sail through. Life can't always be easy and teaching kids to work up to a better grade shouldn't be seen as wrong.

**I push for my child to be in advanced sections because as the classroom teacher you are abysmal at controlling classroom behavior and the advanced sections have students that are more academic focused, are in a smaller group, provide more true instruction and behavior issues are minimized as the teacher has less behavior issues to deal with overall.

**TPT is actually a very good site for finding materials that present subject matter in different ways that can appeal to different students. It also highlights teachers work from around the country. why are you opposed to peer learning? I am professional and I take advantage of opportunities to learn from peers in other orgs about different methods, programs that work, etc.


NP here. I'll add to your list.
** Parents push to get their kids into the higher groups because they understand that admission to magnets is much harder from the lower groups. And this will impact the child's opportunities for high school and beyond.

BUT, much of what you've described sounds like a problem with MoCo and MoCo Families -- not with teachers. MoCo writes the curriculum and prescribes certain activities and the extent of peer learning (which does exist in MoCo, despite what you say). The bad behavior is actually partly a problem with inattentive parents who don't discipline their kids. I'm a WOHM myself and this isn't a slam against working parents, just bad parenting in general. I've heard teachers describe horrific behavior that is basically uncontrollable, and I've seen it in my own kid's elementary school, I've talked with the teachers about how to help the rest of the class not be distracted by the time-suck of badly-behaved kids, and I've heard about the parental cluelessness of these badly-behaved kids. I'm not saying there isn't sometimes a teacher problem, but that's not the only piece of the problem.

I also have a lot of sympathy for teachers up against parents who think their kids are snowflakes. I say this as the parent of two kids who have gone through several magnets each.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 09:41     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: I get it. You think your precious little snowflake is special. And she is. To you, but really only to you. For what it's worth, a truly advanced or gifted child is never bored in school as they will always find something to do.


Yes, I've read this assertion quite often on DCUM. And I'm sure it's true, depending on how you define "truly", "advanced", "gifted", "never", "bored", "always", "find", "something", and "do".


It's not just an assertion on DCUM. This is what a GT teacher will tell you, too.


No, actually, this is not what a qualified GT teacher will tell you. In MCPS, this is not even what the department of "accelerated and enriched instruction" which runs the gifted programs will say; AEI are the creators/administrators of gifted education in MCPS. By definition, the HGCs are for kids "who can't be served in their home school". This is approximately 50 kids per 2 clusters; but everyone knows there are more qualified students than seats for these programs. Even the educational system admits that some students are so advanced that the idea that they will always find something to do in the regular classroom is incorrect.

Many parents of gifted children have learned that saying the word "bored" is a hot button for teachers. After all, if the kid is bored, that must mean that the teacher is …. boring. And most teachers will not admit that could be the problem. See this Hoagie's gifted website at this link for more about "boring" and "gifted" kids -- http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/never_say_bored.htm. Or this article from the Davidson Institute -- http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10316.aspx. Even a national teacher's union -- the NEA -- has written on the subject of gifted kids and boredom -- http://neatoday.org/2013/09/18/are-we-failing-gifted-students/
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 08:49     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: I get it. You think your precious little snowflake is special. And she is. To you, but really only to you. For what it's worth, a truly advanced or gifted child is never bored in school as they will always find something to do.


Yes, I've read this assertion quite often on DCUM. And I'm sure it's true, depending on how you define "truly", "advanced", "gifted", "never", "bored", "always", "find", "something", and "do".


It's not just an assertion on DCUM. This is what a GT teacher will tell you, too.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 08:47     Subject: Re:Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And then you have the kids tested and the teachers have to eat crow.


Sure, that happens once in a blue moon. But only very rarely. Fantasizing about gloating is weird, though.


Stop gas lighting and parents would not feel the need to gloat. Schools need to act like a team, pushing back is not teamwork.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 08:39     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Shorter PP: Teachers ARE the enemy!
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 08:29     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:
-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues

What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????



My child is a student at a close in school. You sound like some of the teachers I encounter. You hurt and not help.

**I push for my child to be in advanced sections because the basic curriculum as presented is so easy that when provided a workbook from the store that is her same grade level, the workbook has harder problems. These are your generic workbooks one can find at the Barnes and Noble and are slated as "practice". I would rather my child be presented with advanced work and do ok than easy work and sail through. Life can't always be easy and teaching kids to work up to a better grade shouldn't be seen as wrong.

**I push for my child to be in advanced sections because as the classroom teacher you are abysmal at controlling classroom behavior and the advanced sections have students that are more academic focused, are in a smaller group, provide more true instruction and behavior issues are minimized as the teacher has less behavior issues to deal with overall.

**TPT is actually a very good site for finding materials that present subject matter in different ways that can appeal to different students. It also highlights teachers work from around the country. why are you opposed to peer learning? I am professional and I take advantage of opportunities to learn from peers in other orgs about different methods, programs that work, etc.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 08:13     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I had a dime for every parent who treated me like cr#^, I'd have retired by now...
So tired of the micro-managing, the second-guessing, the nit-picking, etc. What is the point of it?

I know the dcurbanmomers are likely going to tear me to shred with their snarky remarks on this, but let me just say:

I am a teacher at a close-in public school. I work hard and produce good results. My students enjoy coming to school. I communicate regularly with parents (positive and negative when necessary). I give freely of my time before and after school.
I am in my mid-thirties with over 10 years of teaching experience behind me, but not too old to be burnt out (despite the title of my thread)...yet I have found (being new the area) that the parents here cause me great stress.
-I have no problem with parents who are strong advocates for their child.
-I have no problem with parents who question a strategy, method, etc.
-I don't even mind your questioning a grade.

What I have a problem with is:
-Skewed expectations of your child's abilities (want them in a higher group than they are capable)
-The expectation of special treatment without valid reason
-Constantly wanting to alter the way I do things and sending in things you find on teacherspayteachers that I should try!!!!!
-Constant criticism
-Down-talking me to colleagues


What is it that makes parents so crazy? Do they really think they are helping their child with this behavior? I don't have kids of my own. Help me understand?????





So, here's the thing. You lose credibility when you say that you can't stand when parents want advancement when the kids aren't capable. I am sure that happens, but it also happens that teachers have no idea what the kids are capable of because of the chaotic

environment, unclear instructions, and very limited time with each kid. You shouldn't assume your estimation of a kid's capability is accurate.
What makes parents crazy is that we've been taught from experience that the system doesn't have our kids best interests at heart. Some individual teachers do, yes. But that trust is hard to establish in the current climate.

np. On the contrary, pp, I think the teacher is probably in the best position to provide a professional and accurate assessment of your child's abilities. You only know your children -- the teacher has dealt with hundreds through the years and has a much better idea of where your child's capabilities fall on the continuum.

If you constantly find conflict (reflected in the comment about how you have been "taught be experience that the system doesn't have our kids [sic] best interests at heart") then I'd suggest the common denominator there is you. Your kids probably really aren't as advanced
as you think they are or wish them to be.
Start raising the children you have instead of the children you want.



I love the assumptions, which happen to be totally wrong. My kid's teacher says she's a little above grade level. She is well-behaved, causes no problems, does what she's told, so she's completely ignored. But at home, my kid reads and weites WAY above grade level. Not because she's coached at home either. Teacher acted like we are making this up. Not a major problem except my kid Hates school
except recess with her own friends because she says it's boring and also says during class time she is sick of some kids misbehaving and being annoying. I have volunteered in the classrom, and totally see what she means. Lots of tough talk, minor violence, etc. Teacher means well, but can't control the classroom. Teacher's evaluation of my kid in that setting is worthless. Fine if you admit you don't really
know ,y kid because the job is impossible. But don't assume you know best. It's laughable.




I get it. You think your precious little snowflake is special. And she is. To you, but really only to you. For what it's worth, a truly advanced

or gifted child is never bored in school as they will always find something to do.



That's such BS. First of all, i think all kids are special. Rregardless of iq. Second, lots of gifted (by iq definition) kids arw bored in school. I was one, and my kid is too. Doesn't mean we acted up, we didn't. Yes, we find things to do, but it's boring being told you have to do really boring stuff you could do in your sleep. How exactly do you make a super easy worksheet interesting? She does entertain herself during times when she gets to choose what she does. Plus, a lot of gifted kids are pretty sensitive, and are bothered by the meanness
that happens in an unmanaged classroom.
No question i was gifted (testing, grades, advanced ivy degree are pretty good proof), and i was for sure bored in most classes until college. Not a brag -- i think giftedness is far from the most valuable or important quality a person can have. But don't kid yourself that gifted kids aren't bored in a typical classroom.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2014 08:10     Subject: Teachers are NOT the enemy!
Anonymous wrote: I get it. You think your precious little snowflake is special. And she is. To you, but really only to you. For what it's worth, a truly advanced or gifted child is never bored in school as they will always find something to do.


Yes, I've read this assertion quite often on DCUM. And I'm sure it's true, depending on how you define "truly", "advanced", "gifted", "never", "bored", "always", "find", "something", and "do".