This piece in New York Magazine was rather interesting on this topic. I actually gave it to a HR person in my office that is white because I thought he had the same flat emotive response and it has created a lot of problems for the people he supervises. I also have thought about the comment in the article about how flat Obama can be emotionally as probably a good insight.

Paper Tigers
What happens to all the Asian-American overachievers when the test-taking ends?

Sometimes I’ll glimpse my reflection in a window and feel astonished by what I see. Jet-black hair. Slanted eyes. A pancake-flat surface of yellow-and-green-toned skin. An expression that is nearly reptilian in its impassivity. I’ve contrived to think of this face as the equal in beauty to any other. But what I feel in these moments is its strangeness to me. It’s my face. I can’t disclaim it. But what does it have to do with me?
http://nymag.com/news/features/asian-americans-2011-5/

Where do posters get this notion that Asians have book smarts but no social skills????

This really confuses me, as I've never met an Asian who lacked the social skills needed to get along with others, fit in at social events, etc.

That seems to me a line Americans love to repeat because it somehow makes them feel better.

Why can't people just acknowledge that Asians are studying/valuing education in a way that makes them very competitive both on college campuses and in the real world???? Instead of bashing, why not try to learn a thing or two?

I'm sure if the posters really think about it, they'll have to admit that they don't know of any Asians lacking in social skills either. However, it sure feels good to say that. Simply repeating something that's been said/typed oft enough is much easier than true soul-searching and dealing with one's own insecurities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whie men hire and promote their friends and protégées, who also tend to be white men.

+1000

If you know anyone in corporate America, you know this is NOT true almost ALL of the time.

As far as Asians, very few of them have street smarts to get ahead, ITA with PPs. You can have all of the book smarts in the world, but if you don't know how to properly deal with people, you will only spin your wheels. We live in an area largely populated with Asians, and the Asian American children seem extremely frustrated by how American children are allowed certain things that they simply are not.

I am not saying one side is right and one is wrong, but anyone can tell you moderation is key in just about anything. You would be remiss if you failed to consider how important it is to get along properly with people and NOT put off the "having fun" part for "after you succeed". Really, its ridiculous. Besides, the Asian American children simply get tired, they are driven too hard for too long. It is not realistic.

Have you read Tiger Mom? It seems that the mom is focused on her children taking care of her in her old age. While it is a wonderful expectation, and would be great if it happened, I don't think this is a goal that makes sense. What the children do need to be done for themselves. I know large American families that have told me that they have had large families because "someone needs to take care of them in old age" also, and this just strikes me as wrong. Again, it would be nice, but a sorry reason to have or to push children.

But I digress. Forcing your children to over book themselves into delirium is fine, if it makes you feel like the perfect parent, it is just not a realistic expectation for anyone, regardless of background. I know very successful, intelligent, and accomplished (not all rich) parents who simply want their child to be happy in life, and I think they have it right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do we keep debating tiger parenting of asian parents, their focus on academics and extra curricular activities, etc? We all know that it does not really matter and despite of all the academic success, they are not going to be winners in the end.

I think that depends on what you mean by "winners". I am not a fan of tiger parenting and a firm believer in the importance of play and real-life skills, but I'd be happy if my kid grew up to be someone who would rather be doing the work (writing software, curing cancer, etc) and leave the "people managing" to guys who back in school thought math was "too hard".

Yea and the $100,000 salary rather than the $1,000,000 package.

But is that the measurement of success, really? How much money you make? Give me and my kids intellectual and creative freedom any day. Too many friends with big salaries deciding too late, that they have miserable, meaningless lives.

Yes, tell yourself that to make you and your kids feel better.

Anonymous wrote:Who ever said that Asian Americans even WANT to be a part of the corporate world? They don't. Many of them want to go into the STEM fields, which they see as much more fulfilling as business. So sorry OP, your argument that they lack key skills is just wrong. They do have skills which far outstrip anyone in the corporate world.

EXACTLY!

As I read the OP, all I could think was, "I don't know too many Asians who want to go into the corporate world". Most that I went to school with (HS-->college/grad) were interested in medicine and a few other disciplines. But I don't recall (m)any who wanted to be in the dog-eat-dog world of the corporate world. In the same way, you don't see them clamoring to get into politics. That doesn't mean they lack political drive. It simply means that that's of no interest to them.

I think that Asians who want to get to the top of their game do. Look at what a bee-eating spitfire Michelle Rhee was/is.

Anonymous wrote:Whie men hire and promote their friends and protégées, who also tend to be white men.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:Whie men hire and promote their friends and protégées, who also tend to be white men.

Yep and "diversity" spots usually go to white women, not minorities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do we keep debating tiger parenting of asian parents, their focus on academics and extra curricular activities, etc? We all know that it does not really matter and despite of all the academic success, they are not going to be winners in the end.

I think that depends on what you mean by "winners". I am not a fan of tiger parenting and a firm believer in the importance of play and real-life skills, but I'd be happy if my kid grew up to be someone who would rather be doing the work (writing software, curing cancer, etc) and leave the "people managing" to guys who back in school thought math was "too hard".

Yea and the $100,000 salary rather than the $1,000,000 package.

But is that the measurement of success, really? How much money you make? Give me and my kids intellectual and creative freedom any day. Too many friends with big salaries deciding too late, that they have miserable, meaningless lives.

We'll stated PP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think that, despite how nice it is to be academically brilliant (and I am not one who can say that I am, unfortunately)...what it takes to make it to the top of corporate america (which I am blessed to say I have accomplished) has nothing at ALL to do with academic smarts. Zero. Seriously.

I think you DO need to be smart to make it to the top, but you also need effective communication skills, know how to build relationships and be a leader.

What skills do you think gets people to the top?

I think you need to be street smart. To be able to read people, to understand politics and know how to play the game. Perhaps most importantly, I have learned not to use logic to make decisions about how to react to things that happen in corporate day to days, but to use situational behavior knowledge. Most especially, to understand human motivation, and act on that even when everything in you wants to do something completely the opposite. And absolutely like a PP said, be willing to take huge risks and gamble on your gut instincts and be able to seperate your own personal viewpoints and buy into the company line, and act like you are completely on board. Then go home and feel like crap about it but be able to seperate that from your feelings about yourself and not dwell. You need to understand human motivations enough to know when to speak up, and when to shut up. And the latter is more important. Another hugely helpful trait: to be completely bouyant: meaning, that anything that happens to you in the workplace, you bounce right back up, immediately, without missing a beat.

On top of all of that, you have to be likeable while you're doing it. To be able to go to a meeting, go to a networking party, go to a conference, a hotel bar, whatever it is, whenever it is--and be likeable.

Zero academic knowledge required. In fact, many of the people at my level I swear are seriously NOT smart academically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do we keep debating tiger parenting of asian parents, their focus on academics and extra curricular activities, etc? We all know that it does not really matter and despite of all the academic success, they are not going to be winners in the end.

I think that depends on what you mean by "winners". I am not a fan of tiger parenting and a firm believer in the importance of play and real-life skills, but I'd be happy if my kid grew up to be someone who would rather be doing the work (writing software, curing cancer, etc) and leave the "people managing" to guys who back in school thought math was "too hard".

Yea and the $100,000 salary rather than the $1,000,000 package.

Anonymous wrote:Why do we keep debating tiger parenting of asian parents, their focus on academics and extra curricular activities, etc? We all know that it does not really matter and despite of all the academic success, they are not going to be winners in the end.

I think that depends on what you mean by "winners". I am not a fan of tiger parenting and a firm believer in the importance of play and real-life skills, but I'd be happy if my kid grew up to be someone who would rather be doing the work (writing software, curing cancer, etc) and leave the "people managing" to guys who back in school thought math was "too hard".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps Caucasians make it to the board room because they PLAY as children?

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/give-childhood-back-to-children-if-we-want-our-offspring-to-have-happy-productive-and-moral-lives-we-must-allow-more-time-for-play-not-less-are-you-listening-gove-9054433.html

I guess that explains why white people of European heritage are running all of those Asian companies in Asia -- they PLAYED as children.

No, wait...

What an inherently stupid comment. Do we need to point out the lack of logic in this, or if you ponder it long enough, will you eventually get it?

(PP, please check your snark meter. It may not be functioning correctly.)

Whie men hire and promote their friends and protégées, who also tend to be white men.

Who ever said that Asian Americans even WANT to be a part of the corporate world? They don't. Many of them want to go into the STEM fields, which they see as much more fulfilling as business. So sorry OP, your argument that they lack key skills is just wrong. They do have skills which far outstrip anyone in the corporate world.