I can't tell you how many times my wife has told me that a compliment doesn't count for some reason. "You look great." "That doesn't count, you have to say that."

Uh huh. If that's how it is, watch me not say it.

Yes, and I compliment him.

DH compliments me a lot during sex. On a typical day, he'll say "You're so pretty" and kiss me or something a bit more physical.

We compliment the kids together and he'll always say it's because I'm such a wonderful mom (this really helps on those rough days). When he checks in dying the day and I tell him something I did (like I played great tennis or worked out hard) he'll congratulate me.

I congratulate him as well in playful ways as well as serious.

Yes dh compliments me on my looks, how good the kids are doing at school, extracurriculars, my personal achievements.

Anonymous wrote:My DH is also not verbally affectionate, and it's been a stumbling block for many years, to no avail. So when I've put a lot of effort into my appearance, I'll say, "Damn, I look amazing today," or "I'm so freakin' stylish, I can't even stand it," and that's his cue to repeat back to me what I just said.

Sad, huh? But I'm OK with that now.

+1 are you me??? I gave up wanting it, and started giving it to myself

Ladies, you'd get more compliments if you made better sammiches!

Dh never compliments me either. He used to say "oh, you look nice" when I got dressed up to go out on the rare date night but now even that has gone away. He's also a quiet guy, non-verbal. I've gotten used to it. Our relationship has soured because of other things, but this definitely hasn't helped.

In fact, now I feel like he goes out of his way to criticize me. Like the other night, I had cleaned the kitchen, done the dishes, rearranged some things so it looked nicer. Instead of commenting that, he talked about how the table was dirty.

My DH is also not verbally affectionate, and it's been a stumbling block for many years, to no avail. So when I've put a lot of effort into my appearance, I'll say, "Damn, I look amazing today," or "I'm so freakin' stylish, I can't even stand it," and that's his cue to repeat back to me what I just said.

Sad, huh? But I'm OK with that now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious as to what the pp's husbands compliment them on and what do they say ?

What I'm wearing, a new perfume, dinner, an accomplishment at work, we are in the process of planning a big event so something like that, etc. Nothing major just little things that come up during the day. Might be something like "Wow babe, that dress looks great on you." or "this dinner is delicious", "it sounds like you did a great job with that patient today." "I don't know how you are able to come up with these ideas, you constantly amaze me".

Oh these compliments do not count! I am sure all men say these cheesy things to their wives all the time. It is common for my DH to compliment me on how skilled I am as a surgeon and also what a great pastry chef I am. And the compliments on my looks? Oh please...this is God's gift, an accident of good genes...I cannot take credit for that. I just tune it out when he comments my 36-26-36 figure and my stunning looks.

Write again, if he really compliments you!

Seriously or is this sarcasm? If serious, what kind of compliments count?

All the time. He is very complimentary. I try to do the same.

Almost never.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious as to what the pp's husbands compliment them on and what do they say ?

What I'm wearing, a new perfume, dinner, an accomplishment at work, we are in the process of planning a big event so something like that, etc. Nothing major just little things that come up during the day. Might be something like "Wow babe, that dress looks great on you." or "this dinner is delicious", "it sounds like you did a great job with that patient today." "I don't know how you are able to come up with these ideas, you constantly amaze me".

Oh these compliments do not count! I am sure all men say these cheesy things to their wives all the time. It is common for my DH to compliment me on how skilled I am as a surgeon and also what a great pastry chef I am. And the compliments on my looks? Oh please...this is God's gift, an accident of good genes...I cannot take credit for that. I just tune it out when he comments my 36-26-36 figure and my stunning looks.

Write again, if he really compliments you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious as to what the pp's husbands compliment them on and what do they say ?

What I'm wearing, a new perfume, dinner, an accomplishment at work, we are in the process of planning a big event so something like that, etc. Nothing major just little things that come up during the day. Might be something like "Wow babe, that dress looks great on you." or "this dinner is delicious", "it sounds like you did a great job with that patient today." "I don't know how you are able to come up with these ideas, you constantly amaze me".

This is very similar to mine. We also say thank you a lot for normal things. Like taking out the trash or making dinner before the other one comes home when we normally do it together.
When you say loving things all the time, you feel more loving. When you say thank you for the normal every day stuff, you feel more thankful. It probably sounds corny, but it works for us. My DH has been like this since I met him. It is contagious and I started making it a habit when we were dating.

PP here who said you said you sounds similar to you. We also thank each other for totally normal things. Taking out the trash, cooking dinner, tidying up, etc. We compliment each other on our parenting as well. It really does work for us. I have never felt unappreciated even with a baby, and I believe DH feels the same way. I always feel wanted, cared about, and have always felt that DH honestly appreciates me and is interested in what I have to say/offer.