Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

While getting rid of TJ, get rid of UVA as well since you clearly do not want good educational institutions. Why stop there, get rid of all top public high schools in the area and the country as well. Happy now?

Can you explain to me why the kids at school A must have a GPA and test scores much higher than kids at school B, in order to be accepted to UVA?

What does that have to do with meeting the emotional needs of our students?

It's because the kids in these schools can't "even" get into UVA. That is the message they receive, they can't "even" get into the state school that 20 years ago was our safety school. That causes stress.

UVA was never a "safety" school. Tech or JMU, yes, but not UVA.

Yes. It was where you went when you did not get into a better school. That is a safety school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

While getting rid of TJ, get rid of UVA as well since you clearly do not want good educational institutions. Why stop there, get rid of all top public high schools in the area and the country as well. Happy now?

Can you explain to me why the kids at school A must have a GPA and test scores much higher than kids at school B, in order to be accepted to UVA?

What does that have to do with meeting the emotional needs of our students?

It's because the kids in these schools can't "even" get into UVA. That is the message they receive, they can't "even" get into the state school that 20 years ago was our safety school. That causes stress.

UVA was never a "safety" school. Tech or JMU, yes, but not UVA.

Anonymous wrote:A problem in this area is there is such a large concentration of parents who went to Ivies or other very good schools that the kids in this area feel a very palpable pressure to go to those schools. That puts a heavy burden to excel academically on kids, especially since there are so many other kids in the same class/school feeling the same way. The pressure could be self imposed or could be from real expectations imposed by parents, but, either way, it is magnified in this area because of the large number of kids competing to be among the chosen few. I'm not criticizing the drive to get into Ivies, I'm just pointing out that while most of the time the demographics in this area provides our kids with benefits, it can at times create unintended burdens. Each ivy will only take so many kids from one school, the kids know this, and the pressure begins. The kids also want to be as successful professionally as their parents, which is another high bar in this area. Again, this is not a criticism of having a drive to be successful, I'm just pointing out that sometimes we forget or don't notice some of the pressures our kids face.

Indeed. And if the publics pushed back at the parents, they then have a choice: pay for private or cave. Instead, some high schools cave to these parents and up the ante for all the students, creating stressfests.

I remember attending a 'handling stress in high school' seminar at the high school recently. The staff told the parents how they were bringing in counselors to help the kids cope. I raised my hand and said "Wouldn't it be just as easy to concretely change the reasons these kids are under stress in the first place?" Blank stare.

I posted this before on this forum - this is from a recent local article:

http://www.connectionnewspapers.com/news/2013/nov/.../scc-takes-aim-student-stress/

“In the McLean and Langley Pyramid if you don't go to college, don't get into a ‘good’ college, you are seen as a let down to your school, your family and your community,” said Melissa Sporn, a mental health professional and SCC board member. “As a result I am routinely seeing patients in my practice who are overstressed, overworked and overwhelmed. Many of these students deal with these pressures by self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, cutting and/or engaging in other negative behaviors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

While getting rid of TJ, get rid of UVA as well since you clearly do not want good educational institutions. Why stop there, get rid of all top public high schools in the area and the country as well. Happy now?

Can you explain to me why the kids at school A must have a GPA and test scores much higher than kids at school B, in order to be accepted to UVA?

What does that have to do with meeting the emotional needs of our students?

A whole lot. A kid who needs to get a 5.0 to get into UVA because he goes to school A is going to be under a lot more stress than a kid who can get in with a 3.8.

A problem in this area is there is such a large concentration of parents who went to Ivies or other very good schools that the kids in this area feel a very palpable pressure to go to those schools. That puts a heavy burden to excel academically on kids, especially since there are so many other kids in the same class/school feeling the same way. The pressure could be self imposed or could be from real expectations imposed by parents, but, either way, it is magnified in this area because of the large number of kids competing to be among the chosen few. I'm not criticizing the drive to get into Ivies, I'm just pointing out that while most of the time the demographics in this area provides our kids with benefits, it can at times create unintended burdens. Each ivy will only take so many kids from one school, the kids know this, and the pressure begins. The kids also want to be as successful professionally as their parents, which is another high bar in this area. Again, this is not a criticism of having a drive to be successful, I'm just pointing out that sometimes we forget or don't notice some of the pressures our kids face.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

16:37, are you the OP? Why such a ridiculous suggestion to "get rid" of TJ. Of course it needs help just like your school does, but that's a little over the top. You know that.

He's not OP, I am, and I don't get it either. I bet TJ's pressure is at least as bad as other area schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

While getting rid of TJ, get rid of UVA as well since you clearly do not want good educational institutions. Why stop there, get rid of all top public high schools in the area and the country as well. Happy now?

Can you explain to me why the kids at school A must have a GPA and test scores much higher than kids at school B, in order to be accepted to UVA?

What does that have to do with meeting the emotional needs of our students?

It's because the kids in these schools can't "even" get into UVA. That is the message they receive, they can't "even" get into the state school that 20 years ago was our safety school. That causes stress.

I am a parent at McLean HS and botht e MclEan and Langley PTAs have been working with the Safe Communities Coalotion and have offered several evenings where they have a featured speaker. They have dealt with bullying, Road to Nowhere, depression, stress, suicide, parenting, drugs..... At one of the meetings, they said that the McLean and Langley HS had one of the highest levels of suicide ideation in the country based on the Fairfax School survey that surveys students every year.

It is not an unknown thing and there are recources available through Safe Communites, PTA and the schools.

It takes the whole community to make it work, not just the parents, not just the schools....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

While getting rid of TJ, get rid of UVA as well since you clearly do not want good educational institutions. Why stop there, get rid of all top public high schools in the area and the country as well. Happy now?

Can you explain to me why the kids at school A must have a GPA and test scores much higher than kids at school B, in order to be accepted to UVA?

Because grades are not really that important or an indicator of how well a child will do in college, it indicates that a kid had wealthy parents or more resources but not his ability to learn. UVA does not want to transplant all the kids from N.VA into their school. That would create a very boring student body, they need kids from all over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

While getting rid of TJ, get rid of UVA as well since you clearly do not want good educational institutions. Why stop there, get rid of all top public high schools in the area and the country as well. Happy now?

Can you explain to me why the kids at school A must have a GPA and test scores much higher than kids at school B, in order to be accepted to UVA?

What does that have to do with meeting the emotional needs of our students?

I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So throw up your mighty hands and walk away. Nice. Shut down unflattering discussion. Mission accomplished. And you pretend to care. Who do you think you're fooling? Certainly not your students, must you be told?

I am not a teacher.

I am a parent.

It starts at home. Then with friends.

By the time they get to high school the foundation has been built.

Then why do the same happy-go-lucky, well-adjusted kids in elementary and middle school, turn to drugs and alcohol in high school? They've gone to school with essentially the same students. What changes at the high school level? They had peer pressure in middle school as well, and cliques are formed then as well, even as young as 5th and 6th grade.

If you don't think that the school has something to do with it, and the whole ranking system, how the government plays into it, you're missing some essentials.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

While getting rid of TJ, get rid of UVA as well since you clearly do not want good educational institutions. Why stop there, get rid of all top public high schools in the area and the country as well. Happy now?

Can you explain to me why the kids at school A must have a GPA and test scores much higher than kids at school B, in order to be accepted to UVA?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spinoff from the suicide thread.

Some questions that may help start this.

Our kids are students with lots of demands. How are they handling those demands?

Who should be helping them learn to manage this for themselves and when does it start?

Is FCPS really a pressure cooker across the board or is the world our kids growing up in that much harder regardless of where they attend?

Getting rid of TJ and the message the existence of that school sends would be a good start.

16:37, are you the OP? Why such a ridiculous suggestion to "get rid" of TJ. Of course it needs help just like your school does, but that's a little over the top. You know that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So throw up your mighty hands and walk away. Nice. Shut down unflattering discussion. Mission accomplished. And you pretend to care. Who do you think you're fooling? Certainly not your students, must you be told?

I am not a teacher.

I am a parent.

It starts at home. Then with friends.

By the time they get to high school the foundation has been built.

I think you also work for the school system on some level.