Anonymous
02/08/2014 09:09
Subject: Detective rec
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: Unbelievable. If you suspect this and would be hurt if it's true, just ask him. He may admit it and then you either deal with it together or the relationship falls apart. If he denies it and you can't get passed your suspicion, then the relationship also ends anyway. The only reason to do the detective bit is if you break up and will fight with each other for financial reasons based on notions of fault.
I was a child of parents who each hired detectives to spy on each other -- whatever satisfaction or advantage in a divorce proceeding you think you may get by this in most instances will be outweighed by needless escalation of bitterness and distrust in other relationships for years to come in your lives. I'm not saying your approach is never appropriate, but very rarely worth it.
PP, some people only care about being vengeful to the exclusion of even the wellbeing of their own children. Hiring a detective to spy on someone is an act of aggression. It's no different than stalking IMO. Should be illegal.
Good grief. What an asinine comment.
Act of aggression. Hysterically stupid.
Anonymous
02/08/2014 09:06
Subject: Detective rec
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, some people only care about being vengeful to the exclusion of even the wellbeing of their own children. Hiring a detective to spy on someone is an act of aggression. It's no different than stalking IMO. Should be illegal.
What do you propose when someone suspects their spouse is cheating?
The relationship is over. What do you do if you find out you were wrong anyway? Just keep going, pretending you are still in a healthy relationship?
That's ridiculous. The relationship is not over if she's wrong and he's not cheating.
And frankly, 50 percent of people cheat in their marriages, and many don't end the marriages after discovery, so this relationship is not necessarily over no matter what. But she deserves to know the truth.
As for the act of aggression comment, you need to grow up. I wish I had hired a PI! I know lots of people who have used PIs - though now more people use key loggers and other forms of electronic surveillance to catch cheating spouses. And no, it's not considered stalking when you're MARRIED.
OP, hire the PI and find out the truth. Make sure they collect evidence. And then decide what to do. Good luck.
Anonymous
02/07/2014 10:31
Subject: Detective rec
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PP, some people only care about being vengeful to the exclusion of even the wellbeing of their own children. Hiring a detective to spy on someone is an act of aggression. It's no different than stalking IMO. Should be illegal.
What do you propose when someone suspects their spouse is cheating?
The relationship is over. What do you do if you find out you were wrong anyway? Just keep going, pretending you are still in a healthy relationship?