Is it okay if I complain about how expensive Cornell is?

Anonymous wrote:If someone complains that their driving commute sucks when you take the metro, are they secretly saying "I am too good for public transportation but you are not?"

When someone complains that getting their kids ready for youth soccer is a pain in the ass when you don't have your kids enrolled in any team sports, are they saying "I am a good parent because my kids play soccer, but you are not because yours do not?"

When someone complains that sending out Christmas cards costs a lot and takes a long time to do, when you were not planning on sending Christmas cards, are they saying "You do not care about your friends and family as much as I do?"

If someone complains that her spa just raised the price of her manicures when you go to some cheap salon where everyone speaks Korean, are they saying "I care more about my looks then you?"

How about instead of making another person's gripe all about you, you just say "Yeah, that sucks" and change the subject?

+1

If someone complains that their driving commute sucks when you take the metro, are they secretly saying "I am too good for public transportation but you are not?"

When someone complains that getting their kids ready for youth soccer is a pain in the ass when you don't have your kids enrolled in any team sports, are they saying "I am a good parent because my kids play soccer, but you are not because yours do not?"

When someone complains that sending out Christmas cards costs a lot and takes a long time to do, when you were not planning on sending Christmas cards, are they saying "You do not care about your friends and family as much as I do?"

If someone complains that her spa just raised the price of her manicures when you go to some cheap salon where everyone speaks Korean, are they saying "I care more about my looks then you?"

How about instead of making another person's gripe all about you, you just say "Yeah, that sucks" and change the subject?

Anonymous wrote:With a neighbor sending their kids to private and complaining about tuition, they are add basically telling you 'The school you send your kids are so sucky I would rather saw off a limb then have them go there. Don't you feel bad for me?'

No, the other person isn't saying that at all. That's your own inner insecurity talking. Why do my schooling decisions make you so defensive?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I also don't buy the "I've got an easy solution" line. If that's the case, then I've got an easy solution to your high mortgage (just sell the house), my work travel (just quit), and my stinky dog (just give her to a shelter). None of those are as easy as you'd like to pretend.

I am not the OP, but if I had a neighbor who complained to me about the tuition for the private school the neighbor's kid goes to instead of going to the public school my kid goes to, and there were not any unusual circumstances, I would also have to bite my tongue to stop myself from suggesting an easy solution to this problem.

With a neighbor sending their kids to private and complaining about tuition, they are add basically telling you 'The school you send your kids are so sucky I would rather saw off a limb then have them go there. Don't you feel bad for me?'

I could see why that scenerio could raise somebody's dander.

I live in a great school district. Most of my neighbors send their children to the local public school. The school is so good, I send one of my children there. But the school would be a terrible match for my other child, so I send that child to private school. Am I allowed to complain about the tuition?

Would you complain about tuition to your kids classmates parents? Or are those the people who are supposed to think you have money?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I also don't buy the "I've got an easy solution" line. If that's the case, then I've got an easy solution to your high mortgage (just sell the house), my work travel (just quit), and my stinky dog (just give her to a shelter). None of those are as easy as you'd like to pretend.

I am not the OP, but if I had a neighbor who complained to me about the tuition for the private school the neighbor's kid goes to instead of going to the public school my kid goes to, and there were not any unusual circumstances, I would also have to bite my tongue to stop myself from suggesting an easy solution to this problem.

With a neighbor sending their kids to private and complaining about tuition, they are add basically telling you 'The school you send your kids are so sucky I would rather saw off a limb then have them go there. Don't you feel bad for me?'

I could see why that scenerio could raise somebody's dander.

Anonymous wrote:

Ok. But isn't it the same with almost every topic people discuss over the water cooler? Why a separate thread about this specific topic?

+1 great point

Ok but you get that they are not unaware they could pull their kid out of school, right? They are annoyed that getting the thing they want also comes with sacrifices. All human beings in existence are annoyed by this, and a large percentage of human beings like to vent when they are annoyed.

Anonymous wrote:

I also don't buy the "I've got an easy solution" line. If that's the case, then I've got an easy solution to your high mortgage (just sell the house), my work travel (just quit), and my stinky dog (just give her to a shelter). None of those are as easy as you'd like to pretend.

I am not the OP, but if I had a neighbor who complained to me about the tuition for the private school the neighbor's kid goes to instead of going to the public school my kid goes to, and there were not any unusual circumstances, I would also have to bite my tongue to stop myself from suggesting an easy solution to this problem.

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Anonymous wrote:please just don't do it. And I will try to refrain from complaining about large class sizes, etc. to you.

Why not? Do you find my complaints uninteresting? Do that hurt your feelings? Is it just because you cannot relate to them? I don't understand.

Seriously? You're complaints are boring. They are more boring even than you telling me about the dream you had last night or the indigestion you have this morning. If you are choosing to stretch yourself to afford private school tuition (a choose that I do not share), then go complain to others who have made that choice. Or just accept your choice and suck it up.

Ok. But isn't it the same with almost every topic people discuss over the water cooler? Why a separate thread about this specific topic?

because I suspect that sometimes private school parents complain to public school parents about tuition as a means of "keeping it real." i.e. "I might send my kid to a pricey school, but oh, it is SO painful to write that check. (See, I'm just like you!)"

OK, well, that's just you projecting some sort of issue. I send my kids to public and don't take the comment that way.

Basically, this thread amount to: "Don't complain to me about your life choices unless your life choices are identical to mine."

I'm the "Why not?" poster. I agree with PP. It's not simply that OP is bored by the complaints, it's that she hears some implication she doesn't like. But I think that's ridiculous. Everyone makes life choices that have benefits, but also burdens, and then they complain to friends about the burdens. I have a job that pays well, but I complain about the travel required. You might have a nice house in a good school district, but you complain about the mortgage payments. Someone else pays for private school, but complains about the tuition costs. Even at a mundane level, I have a dog I love, but I complain about her bad gas. That's just how people are.

If your neighbor cannot talk about anything else besides her one complaint topic, then sure, you're entitled to be exasperated ... not because of the tuition payments themselves, but simply because she can't talk about anything else. But when you say you're annoyed because of what you suppose she might be thinking, you're being judgmental and unfair.

I also don't buy the "I've got an easy solution" line. If that's the case, then I've got an easy solution to your high mortgage (just sell the house), my work travel (just quit), and my stinky dog (just give her to a shelter). None of those are as easy as you'd like to pretend.

Anonymous wrote:Well, PP, we are just like you. All my friends moved out of my neighborhood when their kids hit kindergarten because the school sucks, all the way up through high school. Our house was waaaay underwater so we couldn't leave, and started our kid in private. Now they live in very expensive houses (still normal looking, but houses worth 4 x ours) and complain about their mortgage. I live in the same house we always have and complain about tuition. Then we all drink some wine and talk about something else.

I like you. Sorry you are under water.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:please just don't do it. And I will try to refrain from complaining about large class sizes, etc. to you.

Why not? Do you find my complaints uninteresting? Do that hurt your feelings? Is it just because you cannot relate to them? I don't understand.

Seriously? You're complaints are boring. They are more boring even than you telling me about the dream you had last night or the indigestion you have this morning. If you are choosing to stretch yourself to afford private school tuition (a choose that I do not share), then go complain to others who have made that choice. Or just accept your choice and suck it up.

Ok. But isn't it the same with almost every topic people discuss over the water cooler? Why a separate thread about this specific topic?

because I suspect that sometimes private school parents complain to public school parents about tuition as a means of "keeping it real." i.e. "I might send my kid to a pricey school, but oh, it is SO painful to write that check. (See, I'm just like you!)"

OK, well, that's just you projecting some sort of issue. I send my kids to public and don't take the comment that way.

Basically, this thread amount to: "Don't complain to me about your life choices unless your life choices are identical to mine."

Well, PP, we are just like you. All my friends moved out of my neighborhood when their kids hit kindergarten because the school sucks, all the way up through high school. Our house was waaaay underwater so we couldn't leave, and started our kid in private. Now they live in very expensive houses (still normal looking, but houses worth 4 x ours) and complain about their mortgage. I live in the same house we always have and complain about tuition. Then we all drink some wine and talk about something else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I complain about housing costs in good public school zones?

Sure. To other people in your good public school zone.

A single mom I know rents an apartment near a good ES. She has already identified the MS she wants for her kid, and will move and rent again when kid has to go to MS.

this is my plan too to get into the HS we want. unless boundaries change first. we shall see.