I dated a guy who said he wanted to settle down and be a step daddy and have more kids but his lifestyle was quite to the contrary. He would want to go away for long weekends last minute and hang out mid week as if I had a live in nanny at home. I threw in the towel after a few months because I found myself getting resentful of his lack of consideration and realized I would probably end up unhappily married as a result. I want a guy who likes family time and is over being out of all of the time. Plus he was tool old for that, in my book (late 30s). Fortunately, DD never met him.

I have dated other guys who are extremely understanding and accommodating who don't have kids. Most guys I have dated do not have kids.

If he is over 40, he is who he is and is extremely unlikely to change. Can you live with things the way they are now? If not you may want to break it off or move him into the "friends with benefits" category.

It sounds like if this guy was truly ready for a full fledged relationship he would be doing more compromising about balancing his time. Here, he gets to have you when you agree to come along and then his friends. It doesn't sound like you are his first priority. It could be a red flag. How long have you been dating? Are you looking for marriage? He may be too settled in his ways to give you exactly what you want and you have to decide if you would be ok with that.

I too do not understand where the kids come into this. You two are just different and perhaps at different points in your lives. Big deal...find someone else that fits your personality.

OP,

It could be personalities ... if you weren't a parent, you might still find his social calendar too much. I agree with PP, your values seem different. Good luck with it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say you've been seeing each other for awhile. How long is that? It sounds to me like this is one of those things that is attractive to you about each other at first, but will quickly grow tiresome.

OP here. not really. we were introduced. The parties are something I found out about later. I just had no idea how often it was going to be.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say you've been seeing each other for awhile. How long is that? It sounds to me like this is one of those things that is attractive to you about each other at first, but will quickly grow tiresome.

OP here. not really. we were introduced. The parties are something I found out about later. I just had no idea how often it was going to be.

Like you, I hate that immature lingo as well. Calling parties "functions?" "A-list?" Barf....

OP, you say you've been seeing each other for awhile. How long is that? It sounds to me like this is one of those things that is attractive to you about each other at first, but will quickly grow tiresome.