Anonymous wrote:Maybe keep a running list of things that "need" to get done but don't naturally fall witihin one person's line of responsibility (like writing a thank-you card for something). Post it on the fridge.

Assign a name to each task and maybe a date, if applicable. That will help your DH see that each of you could/should be doing roughly half of these random tasks. When he starts to nag you for something he could do himself, say, "Put it on the list!" He'll feel like he's being heard about the need for X to get done. Realistic dates will encourage you both to actually get it done.

Think of it like work: you end a meeting with a list of next steps, who's responsible, and a due date.

Great advice! I know it might seem tedious to make a list (to some) but really its a great way to be sure things get done. I like this idea alot!!!

Maybe keep a running list of things that "need" to get done but don't naturally fall witihin one person's line of responsibility (like writing a thank-you card for something). Post it on the fridge.

Assign a name to each task and maybe a date, if applicable. That will help your DH see that each of you could/should be doing roughly half of these random tasks. When he starts to nag you for something he could do himself, say, "Put it on the list!" He'll feel like he's being heard about the need for X to get done. Realistic dates will encourage you both to actually get it done.

Think of it like work: you end a meeting with a list of next steps, who's responsible, and a due date.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you not doin what he asks? Can you tell him when you think it's something he should do, or that you don't think needs to be done at all? Or that you will get to it at a certain time and it's not a priority right now?

I'll ask my husband to do something, he'll say yes and then won't do it. So I'll ask over and over and eventually he'll tell me he isn't planning to do it at all because of whatever reason. It's fine for him to have an opinion, but I wish he'd just come out and say it right away so we can discuss it and decide who is going to do it or if we won't do it at all.

I like this guy Sounds like me. Saying "no" the first time would lead to more nagging so it's easier to say "of course, honey" and never do it .

Anonymous wrote:You're grown. Your spouse is grown. You shouldn't need a list to tell you what you need to do. JUST DO IT.

We are talking about a man here, right? Lol

Tell your wife to stop her fucking bitching. that's what I tell my husband.

Whenever she nags pull your pants down, say you've been bad, and that you're ready for the spanking you deserve and that you know she wants to give. The nagging may not go away, but should significantly reduce.

My guess is that he feels he does more because you don't do the little stuff. There may be a lot of small tasks that you wither don' notice or don't think are worth doing that he just takes on. But keep in mind that when someone says, "Will you do X?" And you say, "I'll get to it." You just committed to doing it. So, yeah, it's sort of fair game to hound you at that point. As a PP said, better to be forthright and have the fight once than to procrastinate the fight by feigning agreement when you actually disagree. Next time he asks you for something, respond with your actual feelings:
"I hate that chore, but I'd be willing to do Y while you do X."
"I don't think that's neccessary and I'm not willing to spend my time on it."
"I've never done that before and don't feel like investing time for a learning curve."
"I don't like that you are assigning me that job like you are the boss. If you are willing to sit down and negotiate who does what then we can decide this together."

You are being super passive-aggressive.

It seems you arbitrarily decide you're not going to do stuff and drag your feet about doing it. Why is that the case?

This sounds like the equivalent of someone saying irritated because people keep telling her she stinks but she procrastinates about bathing.
If you don't want to be criticized and called out for smelling like shit then take a damn shower already!