My parents are hoarders, I am close to them and talk to them every day or every few days but I don't visit them at their house. My sister is morbidly obese and while she is a wonderful person she definitely makes bad decisions re men that I can't support but I just keep my opinions to myself. She also seems to be displaying some hoarding tendencies which break my heart because now she has small children, the cycle is repeating itself. But I remain close to her as well and speak to her often.

In extended family, I have an alcoholic uncle and drug addicted cousin, both of whom have had trouble with the law and are a major embarrassment to me, and both were a nightmare at my wedding in the late 90s. I no longer speak to them, they have nothing to add to my life whatsoever and not speaking to them really has no negative consequences for me.

My inlaws extended family has the regular family fighting and some serious mental illnesses, but overall my DH and I consider ourselves pretty lucky. If I had a magic wand and could change only one thing, it would be my parents hoarding.

Can't make it through a conversation with my mom without talking about the "blacks" or the "gays".

3 siblings have been to jail.

1 uncle spent time in jail

2 nephews are heroin addicts.

1 professional gambler

Most of us are pretty normal (or reasonably normal!) except one of our siblings, who has a "sex addiction." Instead of ongoing therapy and counseling, their spouse holds it over their head for all kinds of decisions, and uses it as a point of manipulation/control. It's kind of a fucked up situation.

Alcoholism, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, depression, plus lots of just general anger issues throughout the immediate and extended family. Mother is sometimes big-hearted and generous but often mean spirited, angry, passive aggressive, controlling, and narcissistic. Father is friendly and social but immature, dictatorial, prone to irritability and anger, and not really a hands-on type who pays truly close attention to anyone. Various siblings who don't cope so well with life, are underemployed, have never dated, etc.

So yeah, fairly dysfunctional.

There's a reason I moved across country once I could. My mental health improved tremendously after I left home.

Still, I guess we love each other, and would do just about anything for one another, even if we can't stand to be together for more than a few hours at a time.

Mother had borderline personality disorder and died of cancer when I was a teenager.

Father functional but emotionally disengaged from his kids.

Stepmother who thought it was her job to "reform" us.

Two younger siblings who struggled to grow up and spent most of therir adult lives moving as for away from the family as they could get.

Me? Lots of loss issues, some anxiety and depression. But I've got a great spouse and kids and have achieved a lot of success in my personal and professional life after many years of hard work and some therapy. I am lucky.

Mother is a hoarder, dad is her doormat who never stood up for us when she had her crazy ideas. My brother is normal and I try to maintain contact, but we live across the country.
I talk to parents, send a little money each month, visit sometimes (they live overseas), but would so love to just not talk to them at all. They are just effed up in so many ways.

Pretty messed up. Not as bad as those Osage County mother f-ers, but pretty bad.

Anonymous wrote:I win the prize on this one.
Mother: paranoid scitzophrenic co morbid with borderline personality disorder
Father: bipolar
Siblings: borderline narcisstic personality disorder (fit in well in DC)
9 garden variety crazy siblings who don't acknowledge that the have any problem.
I am bipolar, been in therapy for years and take medication.
Mental illness is not a character flaw. Doing nothing about it is a major character flaw.
That felt good!

Hugs. Thank you for sharing and I wish you well.

I win the prize on this one.
Mother: paranoid scitzophrenic co morbid with borderline personality disorder
Father: bipolar
Siblings: borderline narcisstic personality disorder (fit in well in DC)
9 garden variety crazy siblings who don't acknowledge that the have any problem.
I am bipolar, been in therapy for years and take medication.
Mental illness is not a character flaw. Doing nothing about it is a major character flaw.
That felt good!

My family loves each other but is wackily dysfunctional. Glad I can laugh at them from afar. It was harder to take growing up in the midst of it.

I am incredibly close to my immediate family and much of my extended family. I grew up with many of my cousins (40+ all told on both sides - most living nearby) and they are close friends. One sibling and he and I get along very well. DH's family is nearby and we have dinner out with them most weekends. His extended family (large as his mother is one of 10) lives far away but we are all connected through Facebook and stay in touch - especially so our kids "know" each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Lol, love the title of your post. You assume everyones' families are messed up.

Not OP. Every family is messed up in some way. And if you say yours isn't, you're lying.

Exactly! It is accepted in DH's family not to talk about feelings (unless you want something from DH, of course) - and they are the most f'ed up bunch I have ever seen. Thankfully, they make my family look normal.

Everyone thinks DH is so easy to get along with and so nice; but when you live with someone from this kind of family, it is a WHOLE different ball game, unfortunately.

My family had plenty going on, but at least we talk about it and acknowledge it - the biggest step!

Not messed up, parents are wonderful, sibling has a great spouse & kids, my grown kids are awesome, I miss them since they aren't around much but crazy about them and proud of the way they've turned out. My ILs are good people though I think it took years for us to get used to one another, they aren't messed up IMO.

Haven't seen my family in years, they could care less about me until one of them needs money. Husband goes once a year to see his family.

My family is pretty messed up but we love each other and are there for each other. Maybe, since we're first generation immigrants with no other relatives nearby, we cling together.