Anonymous
Post 02/15/2014 20:19     Subject: In laws vent
It's also common sense that if you are sick the MIL or FIL would come to you and ask how they can help. The person is sick for Pete's sake!
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2014 08:20     Subject: In laws vent
Maybe they were expecting you to just bring the baby down to their room when you wanted them to take over.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2014 08:20     Subject: In laws vent
Anonymous wrote:So what did they do all day yesterday while you were at work? After they got up from sleeping in? Did they help in any way with the baby or anything else?

It isn't clear where the baby was yesterday while you were at work?

Also in the morning when people are getting up and dressed and in and out of the bathrooms, many inlaws wouldn't feel comfortable to just come up on their own into your bedroom to take the baby.

I can see the posts about that now and the outrage that would be expressed towards the MIL that came up and into your bedroom to get your baby.

It sounds like you don't really like them and they likely respond to that by being more cautious and holding back to avoid upsetting you. Just be more direct in what you want them to do. Did you say - do you mind taking the baby in the morning when he gets up so Joe and I can sleep in? If you hear him or us up, feel free to come upstairs.

Thank You!
Common Sense!
I happen to have a MIL AND a mom who come and help, but there have Ben times they have said NO and even with my mom I sometimes I have to explicitly explain what we need. They are not mind readers.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2014 08:17     Subject: In laws vent
Anonymous wrote:OK, if they are here specifically to help out, did you specifically tell them when and how you need the help? Otherwise how would they know?

THIS!!
If someone needed to watch the baby while you and DH got ready for work why didn't u knock in the door and say so?
Why can't non-sick DH take care of baby over the weekend???
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2014 00:13     Subject: In laws vent
It sucks having houseguests when you're sick. Tell your husband to tell them not to visit when that's the case. Leave it at that, it's all implied.

Next time they want to help, have your husband grow up and make a list of things for them to do, as a schedule.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 20:54     Subject: In laws vent
Did you tell them you needed help starting 7am or whenever you were getting ready? They're not mind readers, you cant just assume they'll know to come up because they hear you walking around.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 18:04     Subject: In laws vent
I'm sorry, OP.

First rule is not to expect anything unless these people have helped you out already and you know their ways.

Second rule is when you really need something done to give VERY precise directions for it, otherwise you're in for a nasty surprise.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 17:22     Subject: In laws vent
I get OP's frustration. We have a set of parents that constantly tell us they are coming to "help". Then they sit on the couch, watch TV, drink wine, and tell us the way we should be doing everything, especially the things they have no experience with. Then they leave, telling us how glad they were to be able to come and help us so much. After a weekend of us feeding them, cleaning up after them, etc and getting all of zero help.

If they want to be guests, the visit shouldn't be phrased as one for "help". At least they hopefully watched the kids while you were at work one day, I would love to get just a couple hours of a break when they come over, rather than just two ore people to take care of.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 17:13     Subject: In laws vent
Why do people expect elderly in laws to be maids cooks and nannies? What is wrong with waiting till u leave to start babysitting?
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 16:54     Subject: In laws vent
So did they babysit all day yesterday or not?
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 16:44     Subject: In laws vent
My MIL's idea of help is to park her butt in a comfy chair and observe. She claims she wants to help but I think she just wants to seem helpful. We just let it go.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 16:21     Subject: Re:In laws vent
I have a feeling the in laws went to visit and you assumed they'd babysit and wait on you hand and foot. When they didn't you got mad.

Princess don't get what she want. What's wrong with your husband ? He all of a sudden took ill too ?
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 16:12     Subject: In laws vent
Your Inlaws are not your servants

Anonymous
Post 01/18/2014 15:57     Subject: In laws vent
So what did they do all day yesterday while you were at work? After they got up from sleeping in? Did they help in any way with the baby or anything else?

It isn't clear where the baby was yesterday while you were at work?

Also in the morning when people are getting up and dressed and in and out of the bathrooms, many inlaws wouldn't feel comfortable to just come up on their own into your bedroom to take the baby.

I can see the posts about that now and the outrage that would be expressed towards the MIL that came up and into your bedroom to get your baby.

It sounds like you don't really like them and they likely respond to that by being more cautious and holding back to avoid upsetting you. Just be more direct in what you want them to do. Did you say - do you mind taking the baby in the morning when he gets up so Joe and I can sleep in? If you hear him or us up, feel free to come upstairs.