Anonymous wrote:OP here. To clarify, it's not about me but about a very close family member. I think she is doing something selfish and stupid and, during a conversation with her, I tried to convey my concerns, to no avail. I wanted to read others' opinions and see whether I was being too negative. It looks like others here have an equally or even more negative take on this.

if husband and wife really agree they want to divorce, it really takes a short time to end the marriage. so your family member can just really wait a short time and start a new happy family. This rush makes me think (if the story is true) that your family member is not that sure the guy wants to end the marriage after all and she is trying to "speed" things up by getting pregnant. usually a very bad idea

Anonymous wrote:I also think it's crazy, but, would it be within reason if the man is separated, out of the house, and can show proof that the divorce is proceeding?

No, still not in reason. This is a child who has to deal with these dynamics for the rest of their life. Wait until the divorce is final, the man is single, and there is some level of stability in the relationship. Even better - have a child in a committed relationship (aka marriage).

I also think it's crazy, but, would it be within reason if the man is separated, out of the house, and can show proof that the divorce is proceeding?

And The Other Woman could wind up paying child support to this guy & his wife...

He and his wife could decide to stay together and they could wind up with full/partial custody of the baby...something to think about.

Ask the wife if she minds.

No, never. Wait until the divorce is final. In fact, I wouldn't even date the guy until the divorce is final....whether he likes his wife or not He is still Married!

^^just in case you don't get my meaning, don't assume he will move out and divorce until…he's moved out and divorced.

It's not what someone is saying, it's what they are doing, that shows you the truth.

btw that is a good saying to deal with your future kids as well. Because it's true for all humans.

OP, if this is the "friend" of a few months ago and her guy is STILL living with his wide and promising divorce then I think he isn't leaving his family. Regardless, it's a bad idea, no matter how you slice it. If he's really thinking of his kids he wouldn't spring a whole new family on them, complete with sibling. I doubt his wife knows this part, amicable separation or not. If your friend/family member can't see how foolish this is, there's no use trying to convince her.
How far along is she now?

Anonymous wrote:Don't let your fear of your biological clock steal your self-respect. You deserve a man who is unattached and understands how unfair it is to make promises to you while still living under the same roof as another woman.

Very well said. Don't let wanting a baby cloud your thinking, OP.

OP, did you start another thread about this recently but referred to her as a friend? Friend insisted no sex was happening, but then became pregnant? Husband is waiting for wife to obtain degree prior to divorce so she can support herself?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To clarify, it's not about me but about a very close family member. I think she is doing something selfish and stupid and, during a conversation with her, I tried to convey my concerns, to no avail. I wanted to read others' opinions and see whether I was being too negative. It looks like others here have an equally or even more negative take on this.

Tell her to go to a sperm bank. In all seriousness. If she really wants a baby, this is the best, most sane way for her to go.

IME, wanting a baby and being reasonable aren't strongly correlated.

OP here. To clarify, it's not about me but about a very close family member. I think she is doing something selfish and stupid and, during a conversation with her, I tried to convey my concerns, to no avail. I wanted to read others' opinions and see whether I was being too negative. It looks like others here have an equally or even more negative take on this.