Anonymous
Post 01/19/2014 15:22     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
OP here, we started counciling.... We shall see what comes of it.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2014 09:42     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:I come from a divorced home and would get divorced myself in necessary.My parents divorcing saved my sanity.

Maybe some effective counselling would have saved their sanity. Impossible to know for sure what was going on. Divorce in general is traumatic for the children. But so is watching your mother getting beaten by your father, if something like that was the case.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2014 09:35     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:I'm 6 months pregnant and I think my husband might be cheating on me. He and I haven't been intimate in a long while and he is showing very little interest in me. What do I do? I come from a divorced home and I know that I would never get a divorce. Do I confront him? Do I just assume that these are my suspicions? Does it matter if I know for sure?


"Does it matter if I know for sure?" - you're joking right?
Okay let's do this...reverse the scenario. Husband thinks you might be cheating on him. Does it matter if he knows for sure or should he just go with his gut and proceed to harbor feelings of anger and resentment toward you or proceed to fall into a depression, etc. What do you think...
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2014 09:30     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. My husband cheated on me in both pregnancies (although I didn't find out about #1 until I was in the middle of #2).

Although the reason for my ex's cheating didn't have anything to do with my pregnancy, I will say that he was very anxious about his ability to cope with a newborn and he was very worried about hurting me or the child by sex during pregnancy. But, again, this wasn't the cause of the infidelity.

I would take a two-track approach. First, keep a closer eye on DH and his secretive behavior and drinking. Don't say anything each time, just watch and look for confirmation that what he is telling you is true or untrue. Check the cellphone bill. It is very common for cheaters to deny the cheating and try to gaslight the partner. I only figured out what was happening by checking the cellphone bill and by looking at the car mileage to see if it matched what DC said he was doing (it was wildly off).

Second, ask you DC what's up. Don't mention cheating, but ask about the increased drinking, no sex and secretive behavior. Say that you're concerned, that new baby is a stressful time, and just leave it open ended and see what he says.


OMG YOU IGNORAMUS! Quit insisting he's having an affair when you have NO IDEA! You're a home wrecker in your own special way. What if he's not having an affair, but people like you plant that shitty seed in her head? You. Have. No. Facts. Just your own sad history, which isn't OP's history. How about if you just suggest OP goes Bobbitt on her husband and chops his dick off? How would that suit you?


Wow. You should calm down a little. There's no need to YELL or use such hysterical examples. In fact, in my post, I left the door open to either possibility (cheating or anxiety). I certainly didn't "plant the seed" in OP's head, as she asked in her OP about the possibility of cheating.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 13:40     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
No, but saw that post. It's sad for sure but again maybe in better off not knowing for sure. The doubt hurts enough. I don't think id be able to handle the truth.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 13:39     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. My husband cheated on me in both pregnancies (although I didn't find out about #1 until I was in the middle of #2).

Although the reason for my ex's cheating didn't have anything to do with my pregnancy, I will say that he was very anxious about his ability to cope with a newborn and he was very worried about hurting me or the child by sex during pregnancy. But, again, this wasn't the cause of the infidelity.

I would take a two-track approach. First, keep a closer eye on DH and his secretive behavior and drinking. Don't say anything each time, just watch and look for confirmation that what he is telling you is true or untrue. Check the cellphone bill. It is very common for cheaters to deny the cheating and try to gaslight the partner. I only figured out what was happening by checking the cellphone bill and by looking at the car mileage to see if it matched what DC said he was doing (it was wildly off).

Second, ask you DC what's up. Don't mention cheating, but ask about the increased drinking, no sex and secretive behavior. Say that you're concerned, that new baby is a stressful time, and just leave it open ended and see what he says.


OMG YOU IGNORAMUS! Quit insisting he's having an affair when you have NO IDEA! You're a home wrecker in your own special way. What if he's not having an affair, but people like you plant that shitty seed in her head? You. Have. No. Facts. Just your own sad history, which isn't OP's history. How about if you just suggest OP goes Bobbitt on her husband and chops his dick off? How would that suit you?


Ah...Lorena Bobbitt.
Boy the 90's were great weren't they?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 12:49     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:So sorry OP. My husband cheated on me in both pregnancies (although I didn't find out about #1 until I was in the middle of #2).

Although the reason for my ex's cheating didn't have anything to do with my pregnancy, I will say that he was very anxious about his ability to cope with a newborn and he was very worried about hurting me or the child by sex during pregnancy. But, again, this wasn't the cause of the infidelity.

I would take a two-track approach. First, keep a closer eye on DH and his secretive behavior and drinking. Don't say anything each time, just watch and look for confirmation that what he is telling you is true or untrue. Check the cellphone bill. It is very common for cheaters to deny the cheating and try to gaslight the partner. I only figured out what was happening by checking the cellphone bill and by looking at the car mileage to see if it matched what DC said he was doing (it was wildly off).

Second, ask you DC what's up. Don't mention cheating, but ask about the increased drinking, no sex and secretive behavior. Say that you're concerned, that new baby is a stressful time, and just leave it open ended and see what he says.


OMG YOU IGNORAMUS! Quit insisting he's having an affair when you have NO IDEA! You're a home wrecker in your own special way. What if he's not having an affair, but people like you plant that shitty seed in her head? You. Have. No. Facts. Just your own sad history, which isn't OP's history. How about if you just suggest OP goes Bobbitt on her husband and chops his dick off? How would that suit you?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:42     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Can you just sit down with him and ask what is going on? In an open-ended way, not with the assumption that you know what it is. You might be right, maybe he is cheating: but there could be so many other causes for this, too. Maybe he's keeping a problem or concerns hidden. After all, isn't that what you are doing right now? Maybe there's something off between you right now and neither of you has admitted it? Maybe he has feelings about his upcoming father role that he doesn't feel right voicing? Who knows.

I wouldn't assume the worst. And even if the worst is true, it's still best to find out what is going on and why. Some situations are salvageable and some aren't. (But that's just my opinion; I feel I could forgive an indiscretion depending on the circumstance, particularly if DH was forthcoming and didn't intend for it to become the new norm.)

Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:35     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
So sorry OP. My husband cheated on me in both pregnancies (although I didn't find out about #1 until I was in the middle of #2).

Although the reason for my ex's cheating didn't have anything to do with my pregnancy, I will say that he was very anxious about his ability to cope with a newborn and he was very worried about hurting me or the child by sex during pregnancy. But, again, this wasn't the cause of the infidelity.

I would take a two-track approach. First, keep a closer eye on DH and his secretive behavior and drinking. Don't say anything each time, just watch and look for confirmation that what he is telling you is true or untrue. Check the cellphone bill. It is very common for cheaters to deny the cheating and try to gaslight the partner. I only figured out what was happening by checking the cellphone bill and by looking at the car mileage to see if it matched what DC said he was doing (it was wildly off).

Second, ask you DC what's up. Don't mention cheating, but ask about the increased drinking, no sex and secretive behavior. Say that you're concerned, that new baby is a stressful time, and just leave it open ended and see what he says.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:23     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, do you happen to live in a new construction large house in a new estate?


Wouldn't that be some craziness?!


What are the odds right?


I don't get it, what's the back story to this?


http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/355418.page
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:22     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
DIVORCE!! First word out of every woman's mouth when there's even the slightest suspicion of infidelity, when DH shows the slightest hint of change in attitude or behavior from the person he was 4/5 years ago, or when his actions don't perfectly align with their expectations.
Well you know what...fine. You intolerant inflexible indignant insistent brats don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone else, wreaking havoc with your incessant self-centered stances on the lives of others. You bitter dispirited witches need to be by yourselves.
Enjoy.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:19     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, do you happen to live in a new construction large house in a new estate?


Wouldn't that be some craziness?!


What are the odds right?


I don't get it, what's the back story to this?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:16     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:Maybe he has a hang-up about having sex while pregnant. My DH is like this. We don't have sex while I'm pregnant. He's never cheated on me though, he's just has a severe hang-up about that.

Is this your first baby? Maybe he's freaking out a little inside about it.


This was my instinct as well. OP didn't say anything about any behaviors other than lack of intimacy. He may be having some issues relating to the pregnancy. Some guys are just not into pregnancy sex for one reason or another. Frankly, I was surprised my husband was fine with it. I thought I looked very unsexy. I think pregnancy is beautiful but not really sexy.

Please don't overreact, OP. Pregnancy is hard enough. Try talking to him.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:13     Subject: Re:My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My H cheated on me when I was pregnant, it very common, especially on the 2nd pregnancy. Who knew.

Don't confront him. Go to a divorce lawyer, get your thing (money) in order. Hire a PI, get evidence.

Kick his butt to the curb.

He may be just be freaking out over the responsibility. Counseling may help, if you are interested.

I am sorry, good luck... Be careful of PPD.



She can't "kick his butt to the curb" even if he is cheating, and there's no evidence he is other than the fact that he doesn't appear interested in sex with his pregnant wife. Maybe he just finds her weight gain unattractive.


Yes. Actually she can. It is one of the reasons ( along with abuse) the you can kick somebody to the curb during a separation.

Two of my friend go kicked to the curb when they were caught cheating. Stay at home moms, kicked out of their house and given a crap apartment to live in.

Hence the see a divorce lawyer. It is so crazy how little people know about the marriage laws and divorce laws. My favorite is that spouses think they have a right to their spouses money, it all goes into one big pot to be shared equally. Nope!


You have trust issues
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2014 09:12     Subject: My husband might be cheating on me....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, do you happen to live in a new construction large house in a new estate?


Wouldn't that be some craziness?!


What are the odds right?