I couldn't give a number. I used to keep a list but lost track in the hundreds. That was many partners ago. Truly no clue now.

My partner once told me not only is that a stupid question, it's irrelevant. He loves me for who I am now, it wouldn't matter how many men I'd slept with. But he's a very, very different sort of human, not caught up in societal standards and such.

Anonymous wrote:Lying is a much bigger issue than the number. As a mature adult you should be able to honestly talk about your sexual choices. Your spouse should know what sex activities and sexual preferences you had as that is what has shaped who you are as a sexual being. A significant part of comparability. To lie about that is really no different than lying about other aspects of your past relationships or past activities.

That's ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:If someone asked me this question I would question their maturity.

It is a question often rooted in judgment and insecurity on the part of the asker, and is therefore a trap. Don't answer it. But if you have, and you shaved your number a bit, I say - ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would this even come up again? My husband and I had the conversation when we first started dating seriously. It's been 10 years and I don't even remember what number he told me nor do I care? Leave it alone. You will just make him mad. What can he do about it now- divorce you?

+1

+2 Been married 18 years and I hardly remember sex with other men - and it's not because it wasn't good! It was just so long ago. Likewise, I don't remember how many women my DH had sex with. I know it was more than me but don't really care.

As a mature adult you should be able to honestly talk about your sexual choices. Your spouse should know what sex activities and sexual preferences you had as that is what has shaped who you are as a sexual being. A significant part of comparability.

If you lie to your spouse, it is a sign of a bad relationship. But how does a "number" of 20 vs. 30 address the questions you presented above? It seems ridiculous.

don't do the crime if you can't do the time

Lying is a much bigger issue than the number. As a mature adult you should be able to honestly talk about your sexual choices. Your spouse should know what sex activities and sexual preferences you had as that is what has shaped who you are as a sexual being. A significant part of comparability. To lie about that is really no different than lying about other aspects of your past relationships or past activities.

If someone asked me this question I would question their maturity.

OP is an idiot with paranoid schizophrenic tendencies

I think the question of numbers is silly, so I have lied in the past. It's just not relevant, as long as you are being honest about your sexual health and what you've done *while* you've been dating this person. I don't care if a guy i'm dating has slept with 5 people or 20 (or 100) and haven't asked. I would like to know if he's faithful to his partners or has been with a man or has any diseases.

That said, I wouldn't tell a "big" lie. I wouldn't tell someone I'd been with 3 people if the answer was more like 100, because those two numbers point to two very different people/sexual histories. I'd be more likely to say "14" if the real answer was "20-something" and I thought the guy might judge.

As time goes on the odds of the truth getting out are significantly diminished you twit - just like your IQ apparently.

Unless all these ex-lovers are moving into your neighborhood or coming out of nowhere by the dozens trying to friend you on Facebook how is the truth going to get out?

Geezus you people are so stupid.

I want to know OP's numbers.

Anonymous wrote:Why would this even come up again? My husband and I had the conversation when we first started dating seriously. It's been 10 years and I don't even remember what number he told me nor do I care? Leave it alone. You will just make him mad. What can he do about it now- divorce you?

+1

is your husband jewish?