Just make sure the money isn't in your DC's name because if it is, she'll be expected to use it for college when putting down that information on the FAFSA.

But if the GPs don't allow that, that'll be a problem.

How much are we talking about in these accounts?

There are gift taxes consequences if they are large amounts...

Also, 529s have (very large) limits for contributions.

Maybe she doesn't trust your spouse? Either way..it boils down the this:

a) accept her terms and gift
or
b) do not accept her terms and turn down the gift.



You have that option as the child's parent.

Anonymous wrote:Mine kept demanding the kids' SSNs for the accounts, which felt totally odd.

If it's a 529 I think that's required. My mother also gave the kids stocks and I am pretty sure SSNs were required for that as that's how we get the annual 1099s. These are all accounts in the kids names. We get the quarterly statements for the stock accounts but not the 529. When we used some of the 529 funds for college DC did get a form to file with taxes.

If my parents want to give the kids money I am happy about that in whatever form that takes. They paid for about a year of private college and each kid has a stock fund that they can cash in for grad school or living expenses or just save.

I disagree with some of the PPs, it may very well be about you, as some people like to play little games with control. One of our sets of GPs did something similar, blustered about how generous they would be to the grandkids, then when it came down to it nothing materialized because "we want to put it in a savings account, not a 529". We opened a savings account for the GKs, and still nothing. They may want to make it so tedious they have an excuse not to give while appearing generous or they want to be able to play control games with the GKs, the "oh, your parents won't buy you xx, well grandma will - see how much more grandma loves you?".

Mine kept demanding the kids' SSNs for the accounts, which felt totally odd.

Just as you want the money in your control so that you can make decisions for your daughter, they want the money in their control so that they have a say in how the money is used. They don't want to turn it over to you because they want to be able to have a say later on in what the money is used for. It's not a case of not trusting you, it's a case of wanting to retain the option to help their grandchild the way they want to rather than have to sit back and just watch. When my nieces were born, my mother started bank accounts for each of them and as birthdays and holidays came up, she would put money into their "grandma fund" When the oldest niece was heading to school, she wanted a car to drive to school, but neither her mother nor father (divorced but still amicable) wanted to buy her a car. It wasn't that they didn't want her to have a car, they just weren't financial ready to purchase her a car. So, she spoke to grandma and grandma sent her money out of the grandma fund to let her granddaughter buy a car for college. It wasn't that she didn't trust her son and ex-DIL, but that if she gave the money directly to my brother and his ex-, they may have had other priorities than a car for her going to college. This way, grandma had the final say in how that money was used.

As other PPs have pointed out, it's not about you. It's about them, their money and their grandchild. Be gracious and just let them do what they want. They do have your child's best interest at heart even if they wouldn't do with the money what you would do with it.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is perfectly fine for GPs to open a separate account, but if it bothers you so much decline their offer.

It is not for her to decline - the $ is not a gift to her, but to her kid.

It is their money. They want to keep control over it. That's not weird or inexplicable and it's not a veiled comment about how much they trust you.

Also no they can't take the tax deduction if they put the money in your 529.

Why does it matter to you?

Let it go. My mother opened college accounts in her name for the kids. No need for me to be involved.

Anonymous wrote:DC is a baby, the checking account was opened with the savings. I hear you all about it being their money. I do. It's just, my folks paid for my college, which seems nice, and it is. They just keep telling me that I owe them now. Like they now own me. And I don't want that hanging over DCs head. Is rather everyone just put money into one account and not feel like one set of GP gave more or whatever... But I'm probably bring stubborn. Sorry.

Yeah, just let it go. You'd be surprised how the relationship between your parents and their grandchild(ren) can be different from your own relationship with them. My grandmother can be awful to my mom and aunt, but is pretty good to me and my cousins. The dynamics are just different.

DC is a baby, the checking account was opened with the savings. I hear you all about it being their money. I do. It's just, my folks paid for my college, which seems nice, and it is. They just keep telling me that I owe them now. Like they now own me. And I don't want that hanging over DCs head. Is rather everyone just put money into one account and not feel like one set of GP gave more or whatever... But I'm probably bring stubborn. Sorry.

Just curious why you have a checking account for your dc. How old is your dc?

feel...not fell