Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about subbing at a school? I know a mom who subs at my son's parochial school and seems to like the work.

If I quit my job, it will be to SAH or work somewhere else. My district doesn't favor part time teaching (probably because they don't want to have to pay benefits for more people; they prefer to see teachers take overages and there are enough who need the money who do it so that's not on the table anyway). And subbing us a NIGHTMARE. It's like babysitting with 0 authority. I would never want to do that if I didn't need the money. Thanks for the suggestion though, I do appreciate all of the replies.

I think I am stuck though until my kids are older and in public school full time. Like I said, my husband doesn't think going back for another master's degree is a good idea (especially now) so that's out. He thinks I should SAH and get a job volunteering somewhere if I need the outlet. But as tempting as that plan is, it would put me in a potentially vulnerable position so I don't know if that is really a good idea. Sigh. I don't know what to do.

well, presumably you became a teacher because something about it appealed to you. What exactly is it that you don't like about your current position? What do you like?

I know several former teachers who make pretty good money tutoring. They have continued what they like: working with kids, educating them; but have dispensed with what they don't like: administrative hassles, rigid routine, time spent with lesson planning and grading. Would something like that work for you? Of course, you would have to be willing to do most of your work between the hours of, say, 3 and 8 pm. Another idea is working as a home teacher for kids who are homebound due to illness.

Another idea for someone looking to get out of teaching is working in adult literacy. Lots of volunteer positions, but there are administrative aspects as well and a volunteer could develop and expand expertise that could later be parlayed into a paid position.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about subbing at a school? I know a mom who subs at my son's parochial school and seems to like the work.

If I quit my job, it will be to SAH or work somewhere else. My district doesn't favor part time teaching (probably because they don't want to have to pay benefits for more people; they prefer to see teachers take overages and there are enough who need the money who do it so that's not on the table anyway). And subbing us a NIGHTMARE. It's like babysitting with 0 authority. I would never want to do that if I didn't need the money. Thanks for the suggestion though, I do appreciate all of the replies.

I think I am stuck though until my kids are older and in public school full time. Like I said, my husband doesn't think going back for another master's degree is a good idea (especially now) so that's out. He thinks I should SAH and get a job volunteering somewhere if I need the outlet. But as tempting as that plan is, it would put me in a potentially vulnerable position so I don't know if that is really a good idea. Sigh. I don't know what to do.

Just how vulnerable would you be? If this is the only thing making you get out of bed and into work every day, I'd consult a divorce attorney. Not to pursue a divorce of course, but just to get a personalized assessment of just how much risk I'd be taking on by staying home. I mean, that's a pretty strange reason to work at a job you don't like.

Do you think so? Because it seems like nearly everything I read about nowadays wrt SAH or not is to never give up your job (Lisa Belkin's "The Opt Out Revolution Wants Back In," Linda Hirshman et al.)

Yes, I do think it's strange to stay in the work force only because you fear your marriage not working out, when in fact you say your marriage is solid. I'm not an expert by any means, but divorce does seem to favor the mother, especially a stay at home mother. If you have any reason to think you'd be entitled to less than half of your husband's 250k salary and the home in the case of divorce, consult an attorney and confirm whether your fears are founded or not. Then, make an informed decision about whether to stay in the workforce or not. You sound like you would be happier at home (and I don't say that often - I love working and would not stay home unless I had a terminally ill child) and a happier spouse usually gets you a happier marriage. So if you're holding back on doing what's right for you and what's right for your family based on some odd notion that you absolutely must work at some poorly paying job for protection, just confirm that you don't already have the protection you need. You may in fact already have it. Isn't that worth checking out?

humble brag

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I think it's pretty unreasonable to declare the husband a controlling jerk for not wanting his wife to go back to school while they have two little kids. If my husband came to me with a plan like that, I'd be pretty upset.

But if you were already making enough to support the family and didn't care if your DH worked or not, what would be the difference between him being in school and him having a job, other than the additional cost? What does having two little kids do with it--unless the objection is childcare cost?

Honestly, OP, I'd keep your job. Some of your stress may be coming from having to juggle little kids and the logistics of your home life with your current job. As they get bigger, though, and you're no longer worried about nannies and preschools, you'll undoubtedly find that your schedule eases up. This is especially true if they're in the same school district as you are.

When I feel tired and stressed about my job, I remember that a lot of people (the majority in fact) feel that way about their jobs at one time or another. You worked very hard to get your degree and you don't want to have to reset the clock on everything just because you're feeling stressed from time to time.

If I were you I'd come up with a plan to make a change over time, so that you're well positioned to go back to school or pursue a new career once kids are in full time school.

I'd also really sit down with DH and hash out details - what specific family duties you'd take on if you quit, what money there would be for help, etc. If your spouse is earning 250-500K there should be enough for you to quit and still have funds to pay for some level of household help.

Really getting into the details may help you figure out which path really is a better fit for you and your family, and after doing that you may still decide to keep working. But then it will be a decision based on facts, and not one made out of fear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about subbing at a school? I know a mom who subs at my son's parochial school and seems to like the work.

If I quit my job, it will be to SAH or work somewhere else. My district doesn't favor part time teaching (probably because they don't want to have to pay benefits for more people; they prefer to see teachers take overages and there are enough who need the money who do it so that's not on the table anyway). And subbing us a NIGHTMARE. It's like babysitting with 0 authority. I would never want to do that if I didn't need the money. Thanks for the suggestion though, I do appreciate all of the replies.

I think I am stuck though until my kids are older and in public school full time. Like I said, my husband doesn't think going back for another master's degree is a good idea (especially now) so that's out. He thinks I should SAH and get a job volunteering somewhere if I need the outlet. But as tempting as that plan is, it would put me in a potentially vulnerable position so I don't know if that is really a good idea. Sigh. I don't know what to do.

Just how vulnerable would you be? If this is the only thing making you get out of bed and into work every day, I'd consult a divorce attorney. Not to pursue a divorce of course, but just to get a personalized assessment of just how much risk I'd be taking on by staying home. I mean, that's a pretty strange reason to work at a job you don't like.

Do you think so? Because it seems like nearly everything I read about nowadays wrt SAH or not is to never give up your job (Lisa Belkin's "The Opt Out Revolution Wants Back In," Linda Hirshman et al.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about subbing at a school? I know a mom who subs at my son's parochial school and seems to like the work.

If I quit my job, it will be to SAH or work somewhere else. My district doesn't favor part time teaching (probably because they don't want to have to pay benefits for more people; they prefer to see teachers take overages and there are enough who need the money who do it so that's not on the table anyway). And subbing us a NIGHTMARE. It's like babysitting with 0 authority. I would never want to do that if I didn't need the money. Thanks for the suggestion though, I do appreciate all of the replies.

I think I am stuck though until my kids are older and in public school full time. Like I said, my husband doesn't think going back for another master's degree is a good idea (especially now) so that's out. He thinks I should SAH and get a job volunteering somewhere if I need the outlet. But as tempting as that plan is, it would put me in a potentially vulnerable position so I don't know if that is really a good idea. Sigh. I don't know what to do.

Just how vulnerable would you be? If this is the only thing making you get out of bed and into work every day, I'd consult a divorce attorney. Not to pursue a divorce of course, but just to get a personalized assessment of just how much risk I'd be taking on by staying home. I mean, that's a pretty strange reason to work at a job you don't like.

My impression of teaching, which could be off, is that it is easier to take a few years off and then get back in if you had to.

Why don't you leave your job and pursue a master's part time? That wouldn't be too overwhelming, and would put you in a great position in 3 years or so to start looking for something full time.

Anonymous wrote:What about subbing at a school? I know a mom who subs at my son's parochial school and seems to like the work.

If I quit my job, it will be to SAH or work somewhere else. My district doesn't favor part time teaching (probably because they don't want to have to pay benefits for more people; they prefer to see teachers take overages and there are enough who need the money who do it so that's not on the table anyway). And subbing us a NIGHTMARE. It's like babysitting with 0 authority. I would never want to do that if I didn't need the money. Thanks for the suggestion though, I do appreciate all of the replies.

I think I am stuck though until my kids are older and in public school full time. Like I said, my husband doesn't think going back for another master's degree is a good idea (especially now) so that's out. He thinks I should SAH and get a job volunteering somewhere if I need the outlet. But as tempting as that plan is, it would put me in a potentially vulnerable position so I don't know if that is really a good idea. Sigh. I don't know what to do.

OP, I'm an admin asst and earn $70k. I love my working environment and all the people I work with.

Yeah, I think it's pretty unreasonable to declare the husband a controlling jerk for not wanting his wife to go back to school while they have two little kids. If my husband came to me with a plan like that, I'd be pretty upset.

Anonymous wrote:He's human? Lady, stop making excuses for him. He should support you in what you want to do.

Could be that this is not the time for her to go back to school.
The kids are little NOW.
He may be supportive of her education if the kids are 10 and. 12, who knows.

I would certainly SAH. After taxes and daycare there isn't much left. If you didn't work, you wouldn't need to pay these expenses.

I never let insecurity stop me from being with my Kids FT. Yes, marriages fail. Some do, some don't. I wasn't going to miss the chance to SAHM because I was scared that my marriage could fail.

Plus, people worry way too much about getting back in to the workforce. Yes, it's hard. Deal with it and get on with it.
You will find a way back in eventually. Again, not letting fear dictate how I raise my kids.