My mother calls and almost immediately starts talking about all of her ailments. She's done this all my life. The problem is that she isn't really interested in how I'm doing. I just her ramble on and then I say I have to go. I find it annoying and avoid having too many phone conversations with her. She told me about her pessary and pelvic repair recently and I'm thinking, I don't even want to go there.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people. They're old.they have a lot of medical issues. Yes, my parents talk to me about their medical problems.and I'm glad they do, bc it means I can help manage their care and get them to the right specialists.

Have some compassion.

It's great if you have truly elderly parents with serious illnesses and you are close by so you can be involved. You probably don't have small children or a demanding career either, is my guess. The rest of us would like a break to just talk with our parents once in a while about some ordinary topic and not be subjected to all kinds of complaining about aches and pains. If this is all the conversation is, there's not much fun in being with your parents. And for the record, any time I ever did try to get involved my advice was not taken so I gave up.

My mom does this but I am sympathetic. When my body starts to break down and I am uncomfortable all the time, I suspect it will be at the forefront of my mind.

With my mom it's not just health, it's Medicare, insurance, prescriptions, etc. She is not struggling to pay for her healthcare by any means, but she is obsessed with discussing it.

Anonymous wrote:my mom has health anxiety and it spills into every conversation I have ever had with her in the last 10 years. If you gently suggest that she might have some anxiety (hoping to encourage her to get some help) she turns into a raging defensive creature so I keep my mouth shut and just nod my head and listen.

Are you my sibling? This is so my mom. She has had some concerning but not life-threatening medical issues/scares over the past year, and even though everything is OK now, she is clearly not over it. When I was in the hospital after my c-section last month, all she could talk about was her experience, her time in the hospital (ONE NIGHT, might I add), etc. If a nurse came in to give me a med, my mom would tell the nurse all about how she tried that one but it made her sick, or didn't work, or whatever. If anyone else acted this way, I would just assume s/he was a self-centered attention-seeker type, but actually my mom is not like that at all. I think she has an amazing amount of unchecked anxiety and it has affected her so deeply that she is almost perseverating on it.

LIke your mom, there is NO talking to her about it. If I try, she just lashes out at me. (THis is her typical response to being criticized in any way, unfortunately.) It's really sad b/c I do think it is impacting her life, and it's certainly impacting our relationship, but I know she will never seek therapy or take meds or do anything to make it better. I don't understand why but that's who she is.

Jesus people. They're old.they have a lot of medical issues. Yes, my parents talk to me about their medical problems.and I'm glad they do, bc it means I can help manage their care and get them to the right specialists.

Have some compassion.

20:58 - Same! A blow by blow of her bowels! OMG!!

my mom has health anxiety and it spills into every conversation I have ever had with her in the last 10 years. If you gently suggest that she might have some anxiety (hoping to encourage her to get some help) she turns into a raging defensive creature so I keep my mouth shut and just nod my head and listen.

My mom tells me about her bowel movements every time I call. I don't call often.

My brother talks obsessively about his medical issues. He gets my parents going, who otherwise wouldn't go overboard with the medical talk. My brother also will turn even the most cheerful or mundane conversational topic to some gruesome tragedy. Every time. I either laugh or walk out of the room a lot when I go for family visits. I hate this kind of talk.

My MIL goes on dramatically about all her endless medical ailments. I am so sick of it, and have to hear it every day. I've gotten so I don't take her seriously, which isn't good. The MIL who cried wolf a hundred times a day. . . .

Yes, my MIL does this. It's totally annoying because her ailments are relatively minor given her age. On New Year's Day she mentioned that she was so glad 2013 was over because it was such a terrible year. I tried to remember what was so terrible (no cancer, no heart attacks, no big accidents) and then she mentions her usual stuff. It gets really old especially because a little boy who lived near her (friend of a friend of mine) just lost a well publicized battle with cancer. Totally heartbreaking . His parents had a terrible 2013. And to the pp who doesn't have parents -- I get it. I don't have my mom anymore. But I understand that people can simultaneously appreciate and find their parents annoying.

Anonymous wrote:Thought this was common among older folks. That, their aches and pains, doctor appointments and healthy lifestyle, exercise and eating.

Yep, this is my experience as a social worker. Some people start doing this rather young - even in their 50s. It only gets worse as people age.

Anonymous wrote:Thought this was common among older folks. That, their aches and pains, doctor appointments and healthy lifestyle, exercise and eating.

My mom is 77 and this is all she talks about. She loves to talk about the obits too. It is sad.

My friends and I do this and we're in our 50s. It's gotta start sometime, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I would just be happy to still have parents.

It was inevitable that your type would show up. Go away if you don't have anything to add.

It was inevitable that your type would show up. Go away if you don't have anything to add.

For myself, This wasn't the case with my parents, but I do have a friend who's ALWAYS been this way, even as a young and healthy woman. Funny thing is, now that she's older she really has numerous and very odd medical problems.