Anonymous wrote:you sound sort of insecure. are you afraid he will cheat?

No, she's just executing a very clumsy humble-brag.

i wear just eyeliner and a little shadow (neutral shades/browns) and mascara. Not sure why but it always smudges. Ideas on that welcome!!

wow, why so hostile to the OP? you're calling her vain. she's not calling you a fat slob. (i'm not the OP).

My makeup doesn't smudge by the end of the day. Maybe you are wearing too much makeup?

no! I try (and sometimes fail) to stay somewhat put-together - i.e. yoga pants and cute sweatshirt vs. ratty boxers and tshirt . But this is more for me than for him.

OP here.. I like that phrase "And in 5 minutes you've transitioned from mom to wife". I think that sums it up, thanks. And it is nice that he texts when he is coming home... always asks if he needs to stop and get anything.

No, but I am not that vain.

I do. I also fix up the house a bit if any room has wildly exploded.

I brush my hair (even if that means re-doing my ponytail), make sure my top is clean, that I smell good (not like baby puke or poop), that the kids are relatively clean, that the kitchen is clean and something that smells good is cooking. It sounds very 1950's, but DH appreciates coming home to a calm house after a hectic day and a stressful commute.

He is with the kids alone one night each weeknight plus one weekend day all day, so he knows out easily things can spin out of control. I think that's why he appreciates it.

Our roles are somewhat traditional, but it works well for us, and we're not too rigid to change things up when needed or wanted.

Anonymous wrote:I work P/T, have 2 kids under 6. I get home a few hours before he does, and feed the kids before he comes in. When my H texts to say he is on the way home, I do a quick "touch up" - brush my hair and teeth, remove the smudged makeup from under my eyes, etc. Takes about 5 mins. Not sure if H even notices but I feel like I should at least try to not look like a train wreck when he comes in. I remember my mom always had mascara smudges on her eyelids and under her eyes and it bugged ME. I also try and ensure the kitchen is clean and the house looks semi-decent.

Am I working too hard? Wondering if I need to let some things (mainly ME) go...

Your DH probably appreciates the effort. And in 5 minutes you've transitioned from mom to wife. Also, he takes the time to text you that he is on his way home--that's thoughtful, too.

might feel better/

I don't HIDE anything. Believe me, there are plenty of days when he comes home and I am DONE. I can't wait to have him home to listen, help, etc. But there's still nothing wrong with trying to make things look better - I feel like if you look better, you might feel better.

No, because I'm not that type of person. I do, however, if I think about it, try to clean up some of the mess from the day, because I know a messy house bothers dh.

When I come home at the end of the day I want to let my body relax. I take off my work clothes, throw on sweats, put my hair up and BREATHE. I really don't give a crap what I look like and DH has been coming home to my sweatpant self for years now so I think he's cool with it.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not insecure about him. I am totally sure he won't cheat. I think it's more a challenge for ME - like I can bring home the bacon, fry it up, etc. I want things to look smooth (even if the day was from hell). Never let him see you sweat. Plus, he works hard, too, so why come home to a nightmare?

so you hide you bad days from him?
My Dh is someone I can go to when I have a bad day. he supports me and I don't have to pretend that the world is perfect.
I can be authentic with him.

OP here, and yes, I think he does. He comes home and changes but brushes his teeth, etc.