*sue*

Anonymous wrote:It really sounds like he is using, but perhaps he's just very dysfunctional. Are you in counseling with him?
Do you wish to stay in the marriage?

We are not in counseling together. I am in individual counseling and also take an antidepressant because I stopped eating a few months ago. I really wanted to ask my therapist about this but had to cancel my appointment because DH said I had to cover DC's medical appointment at the same time when I thought he was. He is supposed to be in individual counseling. He's been twice in the last couple of months. I don't know if he'll really commit to it. Joint counseling doesn't work. We tried it several years ago. Everything is my fault or he threatens to due the therapist for malpractice if they call him on his crap.

Do I want to stay in the marriage? Only if there is change. How long I wait to see if there is given his new drug and therapy is a great question. If he is using again, then I see zero chance.

It really sounds like he is using. If not, he definitely fell asleep.

It really sounds like he is using, but perhaps he's just very dysfunctional. Are you in counseling with him?
Do you wish to stay in the marriage?

Anonymous wrote:by sleeping, do you mean "passed out from drinking too much alcohol?"

Is that what he didn't want held against him? Because it's hard to understand why you would hold a nap against someone.

I don't know. I have not seen him drinking but the behavior is consistent. He is adamant he didn't fall asleep. I did fall asleep so I have no idea.

What I meant by it being used against him is he won't admit to things if he thinks somehow that can be translated to fault. So, in this case, he couldn't yell about the kids "disappearing" and dinner being late if he fell asleep, too.

It comes up usually when we argue. He'll say X, I 'll say that is inappropriate and harsh, and he'll say he said Y, not X. I can't tell you how many times I've said I wish I had a tape recorder. If straight out denial doesn't work, then he'll say it's not the words that matter, it was the intent (which obviously I can't prove or disprove). Hopefully that is clear and iwon 't be accused of being weird and jumbled even if my iPhone changes a bunch of the words again.

by sleeping, do you mean "passed out from drinking too much alcohol?"

Is that what he didn't want held against him? Because it's hard to understand why you would hold a nap against someone.

What does it mean, OP?

It means you are living with a person on drugs, and your life is chaos and you walk on eggshells to please, accommodate, and enable him.

Please go to an Al-Anon meeting.

Huh? He couldn't find the kids, who were right there? No one has dinner if it isn't ready at 7pm?

You both sound weird.
Get a new couch.

^^ and I don't mean that I'm a snarky way.
It just sounds like your DH might be using again, and at the very least sounds like you are walking on eggshells because he is abusive.

OP, the PPs are being rather harsh but they are reacting to what is reflected in your post - the chaos of your home life.
If you started your post stating that you fear your DH is drinking/abusing again then you would probably get a different response - it would all make sense. So yes, your story is weird, and something is going on that is not quite right, and probably has been for a long time.

Op, your actions are pretty much equally as weird as your husbands. The whole scenario is weird. It sounds like a weird dynamic with both of you responding weirdly and a weird overall story. I have no idea if your husband is weirder than you. Even how you tell the story is jumbled and weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a strange story. Your kids play outdoors in the dark in winter. Your couches are too tiny for you to sit on. Your husband races around the house screaming that the kids are missing, yet he hasn't even looked around the house. Dinner is always getting "canceled" for nonsensical reasons.

Yes, our elementary and middle school aged kids play in our fully fenced yard with all the lights on with large sports equipment in winter. Yes, our two small couches are too small for two people to lay on to watch the big-screen TV at one end of them (one would not sit as you would be twisted to the side the whole time).

Funny, I thought only the things in your last two sentences were weird, not our furniture or that we let our kids play outside.

Seroiusly, are you on drugs? Half your posts make no sense and are garbled, and as the PPs point out, you live one weird life. Honestly, if you are not and just writing crazy stuff online and are honestly looking for answers, I want to suggest therapy. You need to step outside your life and situation and look at how out of control it has become. You rush to make dinner so it isn't "cancelled"? You think your husband is lying about taking a nap "because it might be used against him"? You eat food that is grilled one hour after it is done? Get some help for the sake of your kids if nothing else.

Anonymous wrote:What a strange story. Your kids play outdoors in the dark in winter. Your couches are too tiny for you to sit on. Your husband races around the house screaming that the kids are missing, yet he hasn't even looked around the house. Dinner is always getting "canceled" for nonsensical reasons.

Yes, our elementary and middle school aged kids play in our fully fenced yard with all the lights on with large sports equipment in winter. Yes, our two small couches are too small for two people to lay on to watch the big-screen TV at one end of them (one would not sit as you would be twisted to the side the whole time).

Funny, I thought only the things in your last two sentences were weird, not our furniture or that we let our kids play outside.

I am laughing like a crazy person reading this. Thanks!

What a strange story. Your kids play outdoors in the dark in winter. Your couches are too tiny for you to sit on. Your husband races around the house screaming that the kids are missing, yet he hasn't even looked around the house. Dinner is always getting "canceled" for nonsensical reasons.