I'm so glad I'm not someone like OP. It would be a truly miserable existence.

I'm also glad I'm not married to someone like OP, she's probably a bitch and selfish in MANY areas of the marriage.

So, the fact that she gave birth, let's say in the last 3 weeks, is an excuse for why she didn't WANT to TOUCH him for the previous 9 months of pregnancy? Sorry. SHE is the selfish, unreasonable one here, not DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my wife was committed to bjs/hjs during pregnancy. it sufficed and i appreciated the effort.

forgetting about your husbands needs altogether and acting like you have no responsibility to him reeks of problems and future problems!

No, it reeks of DH being selfish and having ZERO interest in her needs.

why does the wife's needs take primacy?

if she rejects intimacy and he has vowed to only receive intimacy from her - what is he to do then?

Because she just gave birth 21 days ago and she is physically a mess. Her body is recovering, and she is meeting all the physical demands of her children. Grown up Dad's desire for sex takes a back seat now, sorry.

this woman can't even be bothered to let her husband touch her at all.

that has nothing to do with the physical tolls of child birth.

no one is suggesting she receive penetrative sex before being cleared by the doctor, at least six weeks out.

but how bout some physical contact at all?

if wife is unwilling to provide any physical contact at all, husband's vows of monogamy should be temporarily lifted

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my wife was committed to bjs/hjs during pregnancy. it sufficed and i appreciated the effort.

forgetting about your husbands needs altogether and acting like you have no responsibility to him reeks of problems and future problems!

No, it reeks of DH being selfish and having ZERO interest in her needs.

why does the wife's needs take primacy?

if she rejects intimacy and he has vowed to only receive intimacy from her - what is he to do then?

Because she just gave birth 21 days ago and she is physically a mess. Her body is recovering, and she is meeting all the physical demands of her children. Grown up Dad's desire for sex takes a back seat now, sorry.

Anonymous wrote:my wife was committed to bjs/hjs during pregnancy. it sufficed and i appreciated the effort.

forgetting about your husbands needs altogether and acting like you have no responsibility to him reeks of problems and future problems!

Exactly. There are many women who use "mommy mode" as an excuse to stop sex or stop certain acts of sex they know their husbands like. They are a waste, sadly.

"But this woman birthed a child for you. That love is greater than anything sexual," say the useless women on here that need someone else to help justify their nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my wife was committed to bjs/hjs during pregnancy. it sufficed and i appreciated the effort.

forgetting about your husbands needs altogether and acting like you have no responsibility to him reeks of problems and future problems!

No, it reeks of DH being selfish and having ZERO interest in her needs.

why does the wife's needs take primacy?

if she rejects intimacy and he has vowed to only receive intimacy from her - what is he to do then?

Anonymous wrote:my wife was committed to bjs/hjs during pregnancy. it sufficed and i appreciated the effort.

forgetting about your husbands needs altogether and acting like you have no responsibility to him reeks of problems and future problems!

No, it reeks of DH being selfish and having ZERO interest in her needs.

my wife was committed to bjs/hjs during pregnancy. it sufficed and i appreciated the effort.

forgetting about your husbands needs altogether and acting like you have no responsibility to him reeks of problems and future problems!

There's too much defense of this woman here. First, she's not giving it up during pregnancy. Then she's not giving it up after pregnancy. Now, while I'm not attacking 3 weeks being too soon, I am absolutely attacking that she has denied her husband for months, which suggests she used sex for procreation and hasn't been concerned since. I wouldn't be expecting this to get better until... divorce. It's unlikely she will go from procreation sex to taking a night or 10 and satisfying her husband in ways he hasn't had in probably a year.

Fuck that.

"Honey, suck it up indefinitely. If and when I decide that you don't need to be celibate anymore, I'll let you know."

"It feels more like I am overstimulated and touched all day by the nursing baby and older kids that more touching, especially touch that pleads for more intimacy and touching, feels like too much."

Tell him that. "Honey, it's not you. I just feel touched out. I feel like every touch is someone asking something of me, and I feel drained. I really appreciate your understanding as I adjust."

Maybe you could do the touching, OP. Give him back scratches, massages, handjobs, or whatever you think you can manage.

It doesn't have to be sexual, and you can tell him not to reciprocate the touches because you don't want them. But, men can be skeptical that you're telling the truth when you say that this is not a reflection on their attractiveness and/or that the situation is temporary.

And they are right to be skeptical; a lot of times the "temporary" freeze out becomes more or less permanent.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 12 weeks pp and still don't want to be touched!

My wife is 7 years pp and doesn't want to be touched.

wow. guess i am very lucky. my wife gave me blow jobs and hand jobs all through the 6 week period and as soon as she was cleared we were back to PIV

but i gotta tell you, when the woman wants to have a baby very much and then once the pregnancy starts and after the baby comes, neglecting dad can make for a very bitter experience.

Anonymous wrote:I was counting down for the 6 weeks to be up because I hadn't had sex in so long. Guess I'm hornball who stands alone

NP here - I'm curious - did you have help with your newborn, and were you nursing? Or maybe just a different physical recovery? As someone who was in the "please don't touch me" camp, it really came down to having so much more demanded of me than I'd ever had - being on constant call, feeling like a dairy, still doing most of the housework & cooking since DH was off but also negotiating an unexpected job offer. I was sad to have felt this way, but chalked it up to overwhelm. I had a super easy pregnancy & delivery - no pain meds at all, and am normally Ms. Hornball myself.