Anonymous wrote:It's not always the MIL. I have witness some bad behaving DILs. I always believe when you marry a person you marry their family.

I tend to think that the primary burden of smoothing the MIL/DIL relationship should rest with the MIL. She's usually at least 20 years older and has probably been through it before, as a DIL herself. She already has experience with the relationship issues that spring up from melding two families. Not saying the DIL doesn't have the responsibility to set boundaries and respect the MIL. Just that with age comes wisdom.

It's not always the MIL. I have witness some bad behaving DILs. I always believe when you marry a person you marry their family. I love DH's family and if I truly hated them I would have reconsidered marrying him.

Oh and my dad hates my grandma (his MIL) with a passion. They've never gotten along. I can't fault my grandma though because my dad is a jerk.

Married man. Can't stand my MIL, she is easily one of the most selfish malcontents I know. Constantly tears down my wife, meddles in our marriage, selfish, lazy, and a liar. Wife tends to "fprget" things MIL does or dismisses it as "she will never change, so it's not worth trying."

After a lot of heavy stuff in our lives MIL is literally the only problem in our marriage.

The main issue with MIL's is their passive aggressive crap, criticism and subtle bitchiness. Men either don't pick up on that stuff or don't care. That's my theory.

My husband absolutely despises my mother. They've disliked each other for years. I'm sure he vents to his friends about her, but doesn't complain about her to me.

Anonymous wrote:Women/women relationships also tend to be more complicated.

I agree with this. Some of the most complicated relationships in my family are between sisters. The men in the family do not seem to have these issues.