Anonymous wrote:I don't want to hurt feelings but that would have been a deal breaker for me.

Me too - even mouth herpes would be a deal breaker for me.

pp here with no transmission to spouse after 20+ years. No condoms. I never break out or have symptoms, well maybe once every few years, but then we don't have sex. I have acyclovir on hand if I get symptoms.

I don't want to hurt feelings but that would have been a deal breaker for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Winner of 2013

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C) A blessing in disguise. You can proceed with caution and not sleep with her until you're ready for a relationship.

I am a female with HSV and after I got it from my ex I met my husband, but in 8 years have never given it to him. And this includes lots of unprotected sex. Just use condoms and have her on valtrex.

It's prevalent enough that it'll make life tough on your if you automatically rule out partners based on a superficial infection that generally doesn't cause anything but unwarranted shame.

You've probably cleared this virus by now. HSV doesn't last forever.

it is a forever gift.

Anonymous wrote:I got it from my stbex 18 years ago. Now that I'm thinking of dating again, what's the best time to divulge this info? Obviously not a first date convo...but when?

I told after a couple of dates if it seemed to be heading toward sex or a real shot at emotional intimacy. It's hard to gauge. You want to do it before they feel too emotionally invested and definitely before sex, but you don't want to go telling a bunch of men. I didn't find it to be super difficult because I tended to choose mature people as potential partners. And they understood that most people don't know of they have an STD. I did and it was fully disclosed. I managed my health well. They were actually "less" at risk having sex with me.

Anonymous wrote:to you folks who say your partners havent gotten it even after years of marriage - are you having sex with condoms each time? are you on valtrex? what keeps it from passing? no sex during break outs or after or what?

On valtrex. Very aware of pending outbreaks, which are rare. No sex during an outbreak at all. That's probably the biggest drawback. It can kill spontaneity for a 10 day period once a year or so for us.

I also read once, but cannot verify, that the virus is not as contagious after many years. Don't know of that's true or not. At the time it seemed a reputable source, but I haven't been able to confirm it.

PP, that was just someone in a boring marriage looking for attention.

I know several women who contracted it from their first (and sometimes only) sexual partner. And all but one have only had one outbreak in 10-15 years. I remember growing up thinking the HSV was some nasty disease, not realizing that chickenpox would have the same shame if it didn't target children (and virtually everyone used to get it). Also, you have to specifically ask to be tested for it as your typical STD check is for other things, NOT herpes. So most people who have it will probably never know.

Anonymous wrote:So glad I didn't sleep around and nor did my husband.

Right, because only bad girls get raped or get herpes.

to you folks who say your partners havent gotten it even after years of marriage - are you having sex with condoms each time? are you on valtrex? what keeps it from passing? no sex during break outs or after or what?

Love bug. No sex is worth getting infected for life.

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm a little today- can someone explain what peas means?

Her peas = herpes

Anonymous wrote:I got it from my stbex 18 years ago. Now that I'm thinking of dating again, what's the best time to divulge this info? Obviously not a first date convo...but when?

I had an ex-lover tell me she was infected - she told me when we were in a very heavy make out session - the date before we ended up sleeping together. Our session didn't stop that night and we did have a lot of fun doing other things, but that same evening I extensively researched and read up on HSV2. It wasn't a deal breaker for me. The next time we talked about it early on in the date and that same evening just went to town on each other.

educate yourself - have the confidence in who you are, that there is nothing wrong or damaged about you. almost 25% of the US population is infected and the vast majority of people are totally unaware of it. If a potential lover balks or can't handle your truth and honesty, better you see the true colors before you get too far down the line in a relationship.

GL

Ok, I'm a little today- can someone explain what peas means?