Soon after we were married my MIL complained to my DH that she felt like she never got a private conversation with him anymore... So I try to make myself somewhat scarce- (ie leave the room when he is talking, or on the incredibly rare ocassion of a visit go to bed early.) Now my MIL complains that I'm not around when she calls......

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL has no filter, so she plain told me after the first day of her visit:"are you going to tag along all the time? I'd like to be alone with my son". The thing is, I would love that set up too, but DH hoped to spend some time all together.

Your MIL sounds just.... lovely

You know, I wish my MIL would admit this rather than insist that she's glad to see me too. There's just too much water under the bridge for me to actually believe her. I think some part of her knows she pretty much missed her chance with me. She resented my intrusion into her life...there's very little that would ever make me believe she'd like things to be different now.

PP here. Be careful what you wish for. As I said, she has no filter, so she does not stop at admitting one thing and skipping over another. On Christmas, she complimented my gift to her (a set of kitchen towels) by saying that they are a "great reflection my redneck esthetics". So yeah...

Fair enough! My MIL has gotten a lot better at filtering herself when I'm around, but since she hasn't always done such a good job of it, I don't trust much of anything she says.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL has no filter, so she plain told me after the first day of her visit:"are you going to tag along all the time? I'd like to be alone with my son". The thing is, I would love that set up too, but DH hoped to spend some time all together.

Your MIL sounds just.... lovely

You know, I wish my MIL would admit this rather than insist that she's glad to see me too. There's just too much water under the bridge for me to actually believe her. I think some part of her knows she pretty much missed her chance with me. She resented my intrusion into her life...there's very little that would ever make me believe she'd like things to be different now.

PP here. Be careful what you wish for. As I said, she has no filter, so she does not stop at admitting one thing and skipping over another. On Christmas, she complimented my gift to her (a set of kitchen towels) by saying that they are a "great reflection my redneck esthetics". So yeah...

I'm a MIL now. I can honestly say that I've never wanted "one on one time" with my son. I'm very close to my kids, but I see my son and his wife almost as one person now. Maybe I'm the odd one, but I like spending time with them as a couple now that they are married.

My in-laws are local, but I occasionally send my husband on his own to see his mom. She would never think to ask for the alone time, but I do think she enjoys it. She likes me and we get along fine, but I do think it's different when he can just go and visit and have everything be on his schedule, without my opinion in the mix.

Also, I enjoy spending time with just my mom too, so I think it goes both ways. My husband just has more obvious reasons for skipping things (at a sports game or playing golf).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL has no filter, so she plain told me after the first day of her visit:"are you going to tag along all the time? I'd like to be alone with my son". The thing is, I would love that set up too, but DH hoped to spend some time all together.

Your MIL sounds just.... lovely

You know, I wish my MIL would admit this rather than insist that she's glad to see me too. There's just too much water under the bridge for me to actually believe her. I think some part of her knows she pretty much missed her chance with me. She resented my intrusion into her life...there's very little that would ever make me believe she'd like things to be different now.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL has no filter, so she plain told me after the first day of her visit:"are you going to tag along all the time? I'd like to be alone with my son". The thing is, I would love that set up too, but DH hoped to spend some time all together.

Your MIL sounds just.... lovely

My MIL has no filter, so she plain told me after the first day of her visit:"are you going to tag along all the time? I'd like to be alone with my son". The thing is, I would love that set up too, but DH hoped to spend some time all together.

DH family come to see him, not me. We get along fine, but they're not my besties and no sense in pretending. I spend a little time with them then excuse myself. So far so good.

I do that too. What is it with MIL ! I go to work extra early, and come home later. And i finish dinner very fast and go to bed early cause i had a stressful day. She hates it when my husband and son comes to me...and says i spoil him/them but I know i don't spoil them.

OP here - they talked about their wills and trusts last night. They replaced SIL with DH as medical POA. I don't think they would have discussed it with me in the room so I'm glad they had some time.

I think it's really nice of you. While I do look forward to meeting the women my sons will marry, I know it'll also be nice for us to just be together alone sometimes.