DH is a doctor and works all the time. I work part time. We are in a similar boat. I don't think profession has anything to do with it. DH still wants to have sex all the time. I never want to have sex and if I do, it is purely for him. I would blame it on the kids but I'm just not into it anymore. Our lives are good except DH is always bothering me to have sex.

The double standard for genders is amazing.

You sound a little selfish and shallow, OP. Your wife is, according to you, struggling, and all you can think about is your disappointment that you aren't getting laid every day.

Anonymous wrote:Men always whine about sex. HANDle that yourself. Your wife is drugged, drunk, tired and really does not need you bothering her.

Take note: THIS is the person to cheat on right here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to take some responsibility for his life and stop whining about how its not all that he envisioned 10 years ago when he and his wife first got hitched. Either accept the situation you're in and deal with it or do something about it - but for crying out loud don't just sit there like some wuss whining about your problems (like the other 7 billion people on the planet don't have their issues too).

So how'd OP's wife find this thread anyway?

Hah! Nice one. I enjoy the pity wittiness of it. BUT, I actually must agree with the PP. The OP does come off sounding a bit like a wuss. No offense OP. I read the original post and thought that if his DW is anything like me then she might be a bit put off sexually by the 'nice guy' persona of her DH (our OP). A high powered Urban Mom, breadwinner, with a medical degree, may just be more sexually turned on by a true alpha male. Maybe she is satisfying her carnal needs on the side and then drowning her guilt in "a few beers" or a "bottle of wine". A SAHD may be nice, but sexy? Hard to say.

To be fair, I did say that OP's wife deep down thinks she might do better after her doctor stuff is all done.

If the sex therapist isn't working, get a new one.

From OP's post: "I must admit I was very frustrated with an unplanned child and the changes it brought to our career paths and lifestyle at 25, but I don't think it justified an affair."

I will say nothing will kill a woman's desire for a supposed partner more than her mate being resentful of the child they make together. With that said, she has dealt with it in about the worst ways possible (affair, alcohol, etc.)

I assume it's not a case of Peggy/Abe where one partner insists on being an urban pioneer while the other one wishes to move out to the suburbs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to take some responsibility for his life and stop whining about how its not all that he envisioned 10 years ago when he and his wife first got hitched. Either accept the situation you're in and deal with it or do something about it - but for crying out loud don't just sit there like some wuss whining about your problems (like the other 7 billion people on the planet don't have their issues too).

So how'd OP's wife find this thread anyway?

Hah! Nice one. I enjoy the pity wittiness of it. BUT, I actually must agree with the PP. The OP does come off sounding a bit like a wuss. No offense OP. I read the original post and thought that if his DW is anything like me then she might be a bit put off sexually by the 'nice guy' persona of her DH (our OP). A high powered Urban Mom, breadwinner, with a medical degree, may just be more sexually turned on by a true alpha male. Maybe she is satisfying her carnal needs on the side and then drowning her guilt in "a few beers" or a "bottle of wine". A SAHD may be nice, but sexy? Hard to say.

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to take some responsibility for his life and stop whining about how its not all that he envisioned 10 years ago when he and his wife first got hitched. Either accept the situation you're in and deal with it or do something about it - but for crying out loud don't just sit there like some wuss whining about your problems (like the other 7 billion people on the planet don't have their issues too).

So how'd OP's wife find this thread anyway?

OP needs to take some responsibility for his life and stop whining about how its not all that he envisioned 10 years ago when he and his wife first got hitched. Either accept the situation you're in and deal with it or do something about it - but for crying out loud don't just sit there like some wuss whining about your problems (like the other 7 billion people on the planet don't have their issues too).

Anonymous wrote:Men always whine about sex. HANDle that yourself. Your wife is drugged, drunk, tired and really does not need you bothering her.

Might help if OP's wife put down the bottle, too.

Figure out how much spousal support you can get. Unless your (or your kids') immediate safety is at risk, stick it out until she begins to make the $$$.

At least talk to an attorney about that angle -- IF you can make an extra $1k in support/child support by waiting a year or two (in which time she might improve anyway), no reason to bail now.

Also ...

This is not just a sex issue it is a job issue. I suspect OP's wife thinks deep down she can trade up once she finishes her doctor stuff.

She has a litany of mental health issues, some drinking issues, and probably hasn't really reformed since the affair was uncovered.

Good luck OP.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for everything but I hope she's never my doctor.

+1000