Anonymous wrote:Angry? There's a strong chance I wouldn't even notice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Another one of these "validate my side of the argument" questions with nowhere near enough information.

In a vacuum, with just the information given:you moved around furniture in a guest room which implies this room is only used by guests and didn't involve buying furniture, etc., then yeah, the answer you got before - "Angry? Get a life, it's just furniture" - is exactly right.

But you know, if you went out and bought furniture without consulting/conferring/alerting your spouse it would be a dick move. My wife and I are in the middle of buying new stuff for our living room - and we have spent nearly as much as I spent on my last motorcycle - if I went out and just dropped that kind of dough on a new bike without even talking to her about it...whoa! SHTF!!! This has reminded me just how crazy expensive furniture is.

If it isn't just a guest room and it doubles as his office or something..then again, yes, you definitely should've consulted him.

My wife is much shorter than I am and she is constantly suggesting furniture arrangements which are crowded and cluttered - she doesn't notice this because she has a really short stride (she is like the anti-ADA interior designer) - while I have to always be careful not to walk into or bump things. Drives me nuts. Yes, I get annoyed when she just goes and does this without talking to me.

No, I do not get angry, but I wouldn't just haul off and change the curtains or re-arrange pictures without asking her. And not because I'm a man and don't care about or do any of that stuff - I was a bachelor who was perfectly able to competently decorate my own house before I met her.

OP here. It was literally just that. A guest room that never got fully unpacked during the move. Room was cleaned, boxes unpacked, and furniture rearranged to make accessing closet easier.
/quote]

Ok, I'm the poster you responded to.

I'd say he's pissed about something else then - this is totally a proxy fight for something else and he's being a passive-aggressive dick. Well, aggressive-aggressive, but not direct - he's looking for things to get angry about or projecting his bad feelings onto you. If, for example, he was supposed to take care of setting up the furniture, but he kept procrastinating and never got it done, and you finally had to take matters into your own hands (seems reasonable to me, depending), well he may feel guilty/inadequate/bad about his failure. And he deals (very inappropriately) with those feelings by venting at you.

I donno, but I'd suggest that you: 1) not get angry back, 2) call him out on his irrationality (until he can give a non-silly explanation for his feelings about the furniture) and 3) call him out on his anger (which is almost never acceptable, but might be understandable if he weren't irrational). Refuse to tolerate it. That's my opinion. I would not accept it. If he persists, calmly refuse to engage him until he can explain is feelings thoroughly and in a contained manner.