I never understand what value there is in excluding some people from the "single parent" category. There's no prize for having it the worst. It's hard, even if you have a co-parent around.

If you want to call me "not-a-single-parent" because dad comes around for 2 hours once a week and brings $100, feel free.

I co-parent, and consider myself a single parent. I don't understand the ongoing debate over this, and the insistence by some that there cannot be two or more categories of single parents. Who has it harder? I'm not sure. A parent who co-parents but who has a high conflict relationship with his/her ex, no family in the area and financial difficulties might have it worse with a 24/7 single parent of means with family nearby. My parenting continues when my child is at dad's, meetings, appointments, events, games, and there is no second income or adult to help with chores or errands. In all honesty, my situation would be much easier if my ex were not in the picture. I never whine about it, either. I have had 24/7 single mothers look me straight in the eye and tell me they would much rather be in their shoes than mine.

To me a single parent is a parent who is single. If you are someone who people would define as single, and you're a parent, then you're a single parent. I don't care if you have an ex who pays your mortgage, their private school tuition, and lends you his personal jet to shuttle them around. If you aren't married or partnered with him then you're a single parent.

I think where we run into trouble is that people have this stereotype of single moms, and they want to reclassify anyone who doesn't fit the stereotype.

So, if you believe that single moms do everything 100% on their own. Then you disqualify people with joint custody, or who live with their parents, or who are partners in Big Law and have a live in nanny, housekeeper and gardener? Are they disqualified?

If you believe that single moms are people who are so deserving of our support, and need extra help because they're "victims", then what about someone who ran out on their spouse, or someone like me who became a single mother by adoption?

If you believe that single moms are sluts who didn't keep their legs shut, then what about war widows?

I've also heard the opposite, that people who have it "really hard" or who are "really noble" should get honorary single mom status. I've heard it in particular about people with deployed spouses, which I find bizarre. As a single mom, I know that there are things I have in common with parents whose spouses are deployed, but there are also parts that are very different. I don't have to stay up late worrying about someone I love who is in harms way, or try and explain to a 4 year old where mommy is. I think that would be 100 times harder than my life. On the other hand, if I'm making major decisions for my child, I don't need to (or get to) consult anyone. I'm all on my own for better or for worse.

Anonymous wrote:separated, two kids, no financial support, I work full time - their father gets them every other weekend as he can't be bothered during the week. Am I a single parent?

No, I dont reckon you are.

separated, two kids, no financial support, I work full time - their father gets them every other weekend as he can't be bothered during the week. Am I a single parent?

Anonymous wrote:I have a boyfriend of 6 years. We have a toddler together and another baby on the way. We are not married and do not share bank accounts/finances. Am I a single parent?

You're not a single parent, but you are an idiot.

I have a boyfriend of 6 years. We have a toddler together and another baby on the way. We are not married and do not share bank accounts/finances. Am I a single parent?

You're a single parent. Hate to break it to you.