For years I didn't because I feel like its disrespectful. Then one day we had a conversation and I asked his permission to, he didnt mind so now I open his mail. He has a habit of letting it pile up and forgetting about it. Not a good thing when certain bills are sent to him and I never see it. We defaulted on a few things before we decided I would take over the bills.

Anonymous wrote:I open almost everything--unless it truly looks personal. He has an inability to put anything in the trash, and little bits of envelope all over the place put me on tilt.

My husband is such a neat freak about almost everything...except fucking open envelopes. Those he hoards. Drives me BSC!

I don't open his mail. Most bills are in both our names and whoever gets the mail opens those. We throw out junk mail no matter what the name. I put his mail in his in box and he puts mine into my side. We tell each other if there was something there.

I open it and pass on only the really important things that need his direct attention. Even then I have to tell him what it is and what he needs to do. These are his wishes and it's not a big deal, really but on the few occasions when he does decide to open mail, he opens mine too, and that bothers me. I don't know why, but it does, and it's not as if I'm trying to hide anything from him.

Husband does all the mail - he saves things that are probably personal for me to open.

I really don't want him waiting for me, because I will neglect to read the mail on time and any bill addressed to me would be late.

We have no secret spending. We have a few separate accounts, but they get managed by us jointly.

If it isn't addressed to him, he should not open. In fact, it is illegal.

I open almost everything--unless it truly looks personal. He has an inability to put anything in the trash, and little bits of envelope all over the place put me on tilt.

Whoever gets the mail opens everything. Been married 22 years. In those 22 years I can't think of anything I have gotten in the mail that was so "personal" that I wouldn't want my spouse to see it. We do share all money accounts and most credit cards and letters are almost a thing of the past so maybe that's the reason I could care less.
Btw, we also know each other's email/phone passwords and have no issue with that either.

Yes, that's how I found out his check was being garnished for child support for a kid he neglected to tell me about. (kid was born ten years before we got married) Ever since then I open all the mail. Of course it was a good thing, because I was able to facilitate a meeting between DH and his son and now they are very close.

Anonymous wrote:Only if it's joint mail or obvious what it is and something that pertains to both if us (eg car registration or tax bills). Obvious junk gets recycled. He does the same with my mail. Personally addressed things get left for the addressee to open.

Same here.

No not, no purpose. I have dont it by accident before. We both open our own mail. OP, that sucks that you have asked him not to do it and he still does it. I think you should have another talk with him. Does he have a pattern of just blatantly disregarding you like this?

Only junk mail and bills. Anything personal i would never open.

He used to get long handwritten love letters from a schizophrenic woman and even then I waited for him to open them.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because if I didn't , no one would. My husband couldn't care less about what comes in the mail.

+1! Mail is a pain, usually inquiries from credit cards we don't want, so whoever reaches it first, tears it up and puts it in the recycle bin. Of course, we've been married forever, but mail is still a hastle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't open anything that looks like 'real' mail. I open/throw away any credit card offers, advertisements, etc.

I've been married 10 years.

Me too. I handle the bills so anything that looks bill-related I handle. If it's personal mail, I won't open it. We've been married over 20 years.

I should add, though, OP that if you tell your husband you don't want him to open your mail, he shouldn't open it. He's being rude. I don't blame you for being upset.

Anonymous wrote:I don't open anything that looks like 'real' mail. I open/throw away any credit card offers, advertisements, etc.

I've been married 10 years.

Me too. I handle the bills so anything that looks bill-related I handle. If it's personal mail, I won't open it. We've been married over 20 years.