Anonymous wrote:I had it out with my MIL ( I finally told her I had enough of her terrible treatment and if she wanted to be a part of our children's lives she need to respect our parenting choices) and to my surprise she's come along way. It wasn't pretty when it happened, she left our house in a huff but it's been 2 years and she's altered her behavior dramatically.
Anonymous wrote:OP again. I really feel better reading everyone's responses so thank you. But still in hell over here. When you say cut them off, so DH was on board and no regrets? I'm not looking to cut them off necessarily. I'm looking for advice as whether or not to have a full-blown fight about everything now and let them decide whether they want to disappear forever, or if they will mend their ways.
Anonymous wrote:Sounds really hard OP. I have a MIL who was very difficult. We didn't "have it out" per se, but we have taken some serious steps to manage the dynamic. Our rules are :
- husband and I are a united front.
- he is the first responder w/ his family, I with mine
- no one is allowed to visit for longer than 1 week unless someone has died or they crossed an ocean to get to us
- the schedule/rules/system that we use to run the house (bedtimes, nap schedules, mealtimes) do not change. If family dinners or events work within the household schedule - great. If they don't then we will not disrupt the kid's world to accommodate the adult wishes. (This was a major issue w/ twin infants and inlaws wanting family dinners out at 8 pm etc...)
- our nuclear family comes first - period.
- husband and I are a united front. Worth repeating!![]()
Good luck!
Anonymous wrote:Last Xmas, after 22 years of biting my tongue, I had it. We were on vaca in FL and MIL just finally went too far. She always snipes and baits me - not sure if she's trying to prove she can do whatever she wants with impunity or if she's trying to get me to punch her in the throat!Anyway, I got up, told her if she felt that way, I was taking my kids and leaving (we were staying in another condo, thank god) and I haven't spoken too her since. Best. Decision. EVER.