What is the cutoff in the school your child will attend ? In my child's K class in MCPS, I think there is one child who was held back (based on the birthday list) and that child has an August birthday. An April birthday hold back would seem unusual in that context.

OP again. appreciate all the insights from parents and teachers. I think it would be helpful to get a child psychologist to observe him in class and see if he is within "typical" range of social/emotion development, or possibly has other issues.

07:21 poster, i am sorry to hear that you had the opposite experience. i hope things get better for your DS as he gets older.

Anonymous wrote:

Expecting a typical kindergarten boy to behave like a mature seven year old girl is wrong and lazy of the teachers. It is amazing how much these boys grow throughout the years of 5-6. By mid to end of the year, they are just fine socially, provided they have a competent teacher who understands how kids develop.

Are you a teacher?

I used to be.

I am also a mom of several boys. I grew up in a family of girls.

Five year old boys as a group behave much more differently than five year old girls. Even the well behaved boys. And that behavior is fine, age appropriate and should not be seen as a deficit.

Expecting all kids to enter kindergaten acting and behaving like mature old for the grade girls is just wrong and does not serve these young boys at all.

A competent and experienced teacher knows this.

I am talking about typical boys not those with specific issues.

Expecting a typical kindergarten boy to behave like a mature seven year old girl is wrong and lazy of the teachers. It is amazing how much these boys grow throughout the years of 5-6. By mid to end of the year, they are just fine socially, provided they have a competent teacher who understands how kids develop.

Are you a teacher?

Anonymous wrote:

First grade and kindergarten teachers should not expect kindergartners and first graders to act and behave like 8 and 9 year olds.

I am sorry.

You are in the wrong profession if you think the solution for young children with no extreme issue who acting in a age-appropriate manner is to hold them back a year.

Expect our kindergartners to act like 5 year olds, and teach them in a manner appropriate for that age. Do not expect them to act and behave like 7 year olds.

Sorry --but there are a lot of kids who mature later and have no learning problems. They just "fit in" better with a younger group. I have seen this first hand as a teacher.

A lot of that is perfectly normal and appropriate development.

Expecting a typical kindergarten boy to behave like a mature seven year old girl is wrong and lazy of the teachers. It is amazing how much these boys grow throughout the years of 5-6. By mid to end of the year, they are just fine socially, provided they have a competent teacher who understands how kids develop.

I had the opposite experience where I felt I should hold my very socially/emotionally delayed child back but the professionals recommended that I send him on time. He is in high school and to this day I regret the decision. I found it's a pretty irreversible decision because kids don't get held back once they start. My son was picked on starting before second grade and it hasn't stopped yet. He has all of about two friends and those friends are immature. He's pretty unhappy most of the time and it gets worse as the years go by. Puberty with the hormones has definitely increased this. I really feel for him and I wish I had known more when I made the decision ten years ago.

This is a tough decision and you are fortunate that you can wait until March or so to decide how to proceed. Our son, who has a September birthday, was socially immature and academically advanced. Although redshirting wasn't an issue for us because he missed MCPS system deadline by two weeks, we would have kept him in prek for another year regardless because he needed time to grow up a bit. I was extremely worried about the academics but it hasn't really been an issue. It may be the elementary school we are in, but being able to interact w/ his peers appropriately seems to be important if you want your child to build a network of friends and get invited to play on the different after school sports activities, birthdays, play dates etc. I was surprised how cliqueish the whole social network is at such a young age. You may want to observe your son in school in the spring and then sit in a kindergarten class to get a sense if he would "fit in". If you are very worried you could reach out to a child psychologist who is familiar with the area schools and have her observe your son in a class. We did that and the experience gave us a lot of insight. I will say theat I thought our son would be the oldest in his class because of where his birthday falls and he is definitely in the middle of the pack.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. I taught first grade--there are lots of kids who are just "immature" who have no LD's or ED's. They benefit from an extra year.

First grade and kindergarten teachers should not expect kindergartners and first graders to act and behave like 8 and 9 year olds.

I am sorry.

You are in the wrong profession if you think the solution for young children with no extreme issue who acting in a age-appropriate manner is to hold them back a year.

Expect our kindergartners to act like 5 year olds, and teach them in a manner appropriate for that age. Do not expect them to act and behave like 7 year olds.

+1

You are in the wrong profession if you think the solution for young children with no extreme issue who acting in a age-appropriate manner is to hold them back a year.

I haven't taught in years, but what I have seen as a parent reinforces the fact that some kids take longer to mature. Who are you to decide?

Perhaps these kids were babied more at home, perhaps they were sick more, or, just maybe, they take a little longer to grow up.

First grade and kindergarten teachers should not expect kindergartners and first graders to act and behave like 8 and 9 year olds.

I am sorry.

You are in the wrong profession if you think the solution for young children with no extreme issue who acting in a age-appropriate manner is to hold them back a year.

Expect our kindergartners to act like 5 year olds, and teach them in a manner appropriate for that age. Do not expect them to act and behave like 7 year olds.

Sorry --but there are a lot of kids who mature later and have no learning problems. They just "fit in" better with a younger group. I have seen this first hand as a teacher.

Anonymous wrote:My friend had a child at a private preschool where they had to write a recommendation for a private kindergarten and wrote that the child wasn't ready. Then that spring they offered the child a spot in their private kindergarten class. Needless to say, she pulled all 3 of her kids out of that school. I would never hold back an April child. Teachers at public who say this stuff just want an easier year for themselves. If your child has a social problem, it will be even worse if they're redshifted especially that far away from the cutoff. There are kids with special needs that have April birthdays. Your child will do fine with a little extra help.

Exactly!

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. I taught first grade--there are lots of kids who are just "immature" who have no LD's or ED's. They benefit from an extra year.

First grade and kindergarten teachers should not expect kindergartners and first graders to act and behave like 8 and 9 year olds.

I am sorry.

You are in the wrong profession if you think the solution for young children with no extreme issue who acting in a age-appropriate manner is to hold them back a year.

Expect our kindergartners to act like 5 year olds, and teach them in a manner appropriate for that age. Do not expect them to act and behave like 7 year olds.

My friend had a child at a private preschool where they had to write a recommendation for a private kindergarten and wrote that the child wasn't ready. Then that spring they offered the child a spot in their private kindergarten class. Needless to say, she pulled all 3 of her kids out of that school. I would never hold back an April child. Teachers at public who say this stuff just want an easier year for themselves. If your child has a social problem, it will be even worse if they're redshifted especially that far away from the cutoff. There are kids with special needs that have April birthdays. Your child will do fine with a little extra help.

Sorry. I taught first grade--there are lots of kids who are just "immature" who have no LD's or ED's. They benefit from an extra year.