Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 17:13     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy and the only reason I might care (I have a long way to go and haven't thought much about it) is for the peer group that my kids would be surrounded by at a top school. I thought most of the people I went to school with were exceptional at the time (smart, funny, intersting, etc.) and 15+ years later they still are. And most now have interesting and good jobs, which doesn't hurt for networking.

I know this is terribly un PC and I will get flamed, but I had a roomate throughout my 20s who had gone to a large and mediocre state school. I could see the difference in her friend group from this college. Most were not terribly bright or interesting to be around. And yes, it's possible that these were just her friends and everyone else walking around this school was a genius with a terrific personality.


I think this is true, and I went to one of those schools. And in the south, no less. I want my kids to care more about football tailgating every weekend, and what bowl game "they" end up going to.


That's a good point. I also grew up in the south, and many of my friends & classmates (>50%) went to SEC schools. Most of them really seem to have been limited by their college experiences. Maybe the world is more fluid and open now, so more post-college options would be available. But I'd rather my child have as much exposure as possible to other options.


The key word is "options." As we let our kids go and they make their own decisions, the best we can provide for them is a range of options. It is a reasonable inference that the better the school, the more options available to the graduates. Of course, if the better school is not the right "fit" and the student will not achieve in that environment, then the fact that a school is higher ranked does not make it the better school for that student. So, that is why you will see an Ivy League qualifier choosing to go to a Notre Dame or a UVa -- the fit is better. With so many forks in the road in terms of careers and opportunities, a parent who does not help their child maximize their options is not helping the student prepare for the future. The "I want them to be happy" answer sounds good, but it is not mutually exclusive with helping the child find the right college that will open the most doors.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 17:10     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
It usually -not always - gives you more opportunities in life. Say your kid decides she wants to major in art history. Sure makes a lot more sense to do it Yale than...UMD for instance.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 16:24     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy and the only reason I might care (I have a long way to go and haven't thought much about it) is for the peer group that my kids would be surrounded by at a top school. I thought most of the people I went to school with were exceptional at the time (smart, funny, intersting, etc.) and 15+ years later they still are. And most now have interesting and good jobs, which doesn't hurt for networking.

I know this is terribly un PC and I will get flamed, but I had a roomate throughout my 20s who had gone to a large and mediocre state school. I could see the difference in her friend group from this college. Most were not terribly bright or interesting to be around. And yes, it's possible that these were just her friends and everyone else walking around this school was a genius with a terrific personality.


I think this is true, and I went to one of those schools. And in the south, no less. I want my kids to care more about football tailgating every weekend, and what bowl game "they" end up going to.


That's a good point. I also grew up in the south, and many of my friends & classmates (>50%) went to SEC schools. Most of them really seem to have been limited by their college experiences. Maybe the world is more fluid and open now, so more post-college options would be available. But I'd rather my child have as much exposure as possible to other options.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 15:39     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't. I just want them to be happy. I hope they don't measure their happiness with college entrance or their entry level job.


+1


+2

Seriously, how bleak is that?
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 15:33     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy and the only reason I might care (I have a long way to go and haven't thought much about it) is for the peer group that my kids would be surrounded by at a top school. I thought most of the people I went to school with were exceptional at the time (smart, funny, intersting, etc.) and 15+ years later they still are. And most now have interesting and good jobs, which doesn't hurt for networking.

I know this is terribly un PC and I will get flamed, but I had a roomate throughout my 20s who had gone to a large and mediocre state school. I could see the difference in her friend group from this college. Most were not terribly bright or interesting to be around. And yes, it's possible that these were just her friends and everyone else walking around this school was a genius with a terrific personality.


I think this is true, and I went to one of those schools. And in the south, no less. I want my kids to care more about football tailgating every weekend, and what bowl game "they" end up going to.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 14:56     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:I don't. I just want them to be happy. I hope they don't measure their happiness with college entrance or their entry level job.


+1
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 14:18     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:As more and more students attend college, attending a top school becomes more important. The "sorting mechanism" used to be just graduating from a college with a bachelors degree. This gave you a leg up in life and helped sucre a middle to upper middle class life. Those days are long gone. There is a huge chasm between the top and the bottom in our society and a shrinking middle. I will do everything in my power to help ensure that my child has a shot at a secure future.


This. Between this and the fact that the perceived quality of peers is also important now (fair? not, but important), the idea of missing out on a top opportunity could easily translate into little or no opportunity.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 14:16     Subject: Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
I want my child to be capable of being admitted to, and attending at, any top university. Why? Because I want her to be well-educated enough to have that world of options open to her.

But ultimately, if she chooses not to apply to or attend a top university, I'm fine with that too. I just want it to be her choice, and not a door that's closed to her because of lack of preparation.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 14:07     Subject: Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Many typos above, please forgive me.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 14:07     Subject: Re:Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:I don't. I just want them to be happy. I hope they don't measure their happiness with college entrance or their entry level job.[/quote)

This. And I will add I also don't want our children to be over scheduled and over stressed during HS. I hope they go to a great LAC where they can pursue a major they are interested in and find a field of work they can be passionate about. Of they decide to go to grad school I hope they get into the school of their choice, but that may not be an ivy after all!
An impressive resume does not correlate with a sense of contentment or happiness with ones life. To go to a school for bragging rights is very lame. It shows a true lack of self esteem. You are only the school to attend at the age of 19?
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 13:31     Subject: Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:This is a serious question from someone who attended an Ivy League School. Can you articulate your reasons for wanting your children to attend a top elite college? Is it because you think they will get better jobs? Meet better or smarter people? So you can feel good about your parenting and the sacrifices you've made? I am not trying to start an argument - honestly curious about what makes certain schools seem substantively so much better than others.

OP, what are your own thoughts on these questions? Do you want your children to attend your Ivy League School, or any top college? I am curious about your thoughts on these same issues.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 13:19     Subject: Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because it's a good way to get a better entry-level job.


This^^^. All things being completely equal, I have observed that friends' kids who went to top 20 schools were much, much, much more likely to be recruited for entry-level jobs.

Top Tech companies go to Stanford and UC Berkeley and woo 20 year olds but they don't go to U. Minnesota or Grinnell, which I think is are fine schools. Google isn't visiting Kansas State or Marquette.

In my personal experience after 20 years in Washington, as a state college grad working alongside Princeton and Yale grads ..... those guys had it SO much easier than I did to get to the same place. They're not smarter than I am, but life was kind of handed to them in the 21 - 28 year old range because the Justice Department, Harvard School of Public Policy and Columbia Journalism School automatically assumed that, as a 22, 24 and 27 year old, they were "better" than the K State grad.

Can't say I blame DoJ and Harvard grad programs, but, what wouldn't I want my progeny to avoid that?


I guess i don't see my 20s as having been so bad that I need to make sure my progeny avoids it. So maybe I had to prove myself more than some others did, that's not really a hardship is it?
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 13:04     Subject: Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
I didn't. I just wanted them to go to schools they'd find interesting and that would help them reach their goals.

DS wound up at Stanford and I kept encouraging him to look at schools closer to home (on the East Coast). DD wound up at Berkeley and while part of it was the environment, I think she wouldn't have gone had DS not been nearby.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 13:02     Subject: Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it's b/c I'll like him to go to my alma mater. My dad and grandfather and great grand father all went there.

Then as long as your kid exhibits signs of life and the checks don't bounce, I don't see where you have much to worry about.


This isn't true anymore unfortunately... So we donate

Exactly as stated before. Just make sure the checks clear and all is good!


You can keep repeating the same since it obviously makes you think you are witty but it really does not work like that anymore. No one gets in unless the grades/test scores/extracurriculars are on par even for legacies and development cases. I've interviewed for them for years and have many friends who are "hooked" with admissions. Fact of the matter is that I would not even encourage DC to apply unless it was a good fit.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2013 12:49     Subject: Why do you want your child to go to a "top" college?
I don't. I want them both to go to the right college that will enable them to achieve their goals in great company. If that school happens to be a top school, so be it, but we're after a great education, not just a name.