Anonymous
Post 12/13/2013 08:07     Subject: Re:s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
What I find works is a simple thank you. Whenever my husband does something that's helpful, I say 'thank you' or 'thanks, that really made my life easier!" or something like that. As a result, he's now great about helping out with things.

I also realized that I was getting mad at him because he wasn't reading my mind, so now I ask him if I need help with something, like bringing in a big box from the car. I also give him a timeframe, i.e. "I don't need it done right now" or "I really could use that because I need to do ABC".

Results have been great! Changing my behavior really made a difference. I hadn't realized how resentful I sounded to him!

You need to get in touch with your feminine side, that male is controlling you.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2013 07:51     Subject: Re:s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
The "we" annoy me too. "We need to write a thank you card to my coworker who gave (son) a gift." Instead of silently seething and adding that kind of to do to my list, I have simply started to say, "No, YOU need to write a thank you more to him. He is your coworker. While I appreciate the gift, it is on your side of the line." I just started using the tit for tat tactic for these types of things. He got it because I would ask him how many times I would ever assume he would write as thank you to my coworker for a gift.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2013 06:28     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
What I find works is a simple thank you. Whenever my husband does something that's helpful, I say 'thank you' or 'thanks, that really made my life easier!" or something like that. As a result, he's now great about helping out with things.

I also realized that I was getting mad at him because he wasn't reading my mind, so now I ask him if I need help with something, like bringing in a big box from the car. I also give him a timeframe, i.e. "I don't need it done right now" or "I really could use that because I need to do ABC".

Results have been great! Changing my behavior really made a difference. I hadn't realized how resentful I sounded to him!
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 21:57     Subject: Re:s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
Anonymous wrote:I love the, "we really need to…" anything statements. After 15 of marriage, I now say, "Sounds great. I will not be handling any part of the details or the maintenance."




Good advice! I'll try this myself.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 21:41     Subject: Re:s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
Anonymous wrote:I want to roll my eyes so badly whenever DH says things like "we really need to do ...." and he clearly means I need to do it because he has no clue how to accomplish it.


DH does the same. I stopped arguing or discussing. I just say: 'wow! That's such a great idea! Definitely go for it!' Naturally, nothing gets done!

Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 21:32     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Why am I the only one who cares about keeping the house clean?" To be fair-- he usually does do more of the kitchen and toy clean up-- but it is ALWAYS when I am tending to the kids-- so I give the baths, he cleans the kitchen-- I put the kids to bed, he cleans up the living room-- he cooks dinner, I take the kids out back to get some energy out. It makes me SO mad. If he is going to make it seem like he does everything, I might as well just sit on my a** eating bon bons.


Oh good grief, many wives do the bath, etc. and then still walk down to a messy kitchen/main floor while their DH stares at the tube.


Yup! I wish DH would get up off his butt and clean every once in awhile...or put the kids to bed. To be fair he does cook dinner on Fri and Sat nights.
The obnoxious thing my DH says is, "WE really need to clean this weekend." By "we," he means me. Also, "nobody helps me around here. Why do I have to do everything?"
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 21:09     Subject: Re:s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
This was from today:

DW: Are you still taking your prescription Vitamin D?
DH: I can't find it.
DW: Did you look for it?
DH: Well I ran out and it never reappeared.



DW: Well that's probably because I can't READ YOUR MIND
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 20:22     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
Anonymous wrote:"Are you asleep????"

This question is one of the reasons I don't sleep with a gun under my pillow.


lollll
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 20:20     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
"Are you asleep????"

This question is one of the reasons I don't sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 19:38     Subject: Re:s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
I love the, "we really need to…" anything statements. After 15 of marriage, I now say, "Sounds great. I will not be handling any part of the details or the maintenance."
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 19:05     Subject: Re:s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
I want to roll my eyes so badly whenever DH says things like "we really need to do ...." and he clearly means I need to do it because he has no clue how to accomplish it.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 18:01     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Why am I the only one who cares about keeping the house clean?" To be fair-- he usually does do more of the kitchen and toy clean up-- but it is ALWAYS when I am tending to the kids-- so I give the baths, he cleans the kitchen-- I put the kids to bed, he cleans up the living room-- he cooks dinner, I take the kids out back to get some energy out. It makes me SO mad. If he is going to make it seem like he does everything, I might as well just sit on my a** eating bon bons.


Oh good grief, many wives do the bath, etc. and then still walk down to a messy kitchen/main floor while their DH stares at the tube.


So you're saying her standards are too high? That she should fall all over herself thanking DH for doing housework while she takes care of the kids, and in return swallow his snotty (and inaccurate) comments?


No, I'm just asking whether she'd prefer to the do the dishes, etc. rather than give the kids a bath. I've found a lot of SAHMs have an enormous chip on their shoulder about housework, which is actually a part of their job description.


No, we have a housekeeper do those things.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 16:11     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
DH preens when the kids are praised.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 16:11     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
Mine seems to love "the absolutes" which just makes him come across as needlessly dramatic. "You never" and "I always."
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2013 16:03     Subject: s/o: Obnoxious things your DH says
Warms my heart to see the joy people find in the institution of marriage...