My husband travels a lot for work. I don't like it. Without kids, it was manageable for me but now, it's hard on the kids and he has become the "fun" dad who breaks all the rules, which creates tension between us and contributes to my resentment.

Sure it sounds great-if you like your husband banging other women.

Hell no. As a single woman abroad, the married men traveling often are usually cheating because it's so easy. I just had dinner last night with a bunch of average-looking guys who are fawned over and said their rings get them far more attention than when they were single. You know why? Women know that they are willing to commit.

No. Never. It broke up my mom and dad. There was no infidelity (he used to spend the week in the big city living with his sister and BIL) but they grew apart. The "daily" communication and complaints etc…it keeps you connected.

That being said, I know a family who does it very successfully. He is a reporter and often in places like Afganistan. No matter what is going on, he always facetimes at the same time every night.

My DH would never be that coordinated. So it depends on who you married.

I know someone that has been doing this for years. I'm convinced this is the only thing that has saved heir marriage. Ifthey had to be together on a regular basis they would surely be divorced by now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you husband traveled a lot - by personal choice, not out of job necessity. He'd earn a lot of extra money through per diem, but he'd see you and the kids every other month for a couple of weeks, you would spend over 60% of time separately. Would you be OK with that?

hell no
I am not selling our family time for cash

+ 1,000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with much of this, but opt for a lower percentage of time away from home - basically 15% - one week away out of six. It is always hard to leave, and an adjustment when I return, but otherwise it works very well for our family.

Anonymous wrote:60% is a bit extreme. 30% travel works best I think. It IMPROVES family life. You miss each other and compliment each other. You avoid fighting because your time together is limited. You have fewer or no financial arguments. If you see each other EVERY DAY, the relationship gets very stale. I highly recommend couples spend some time apart in order to have a healthy long lasting marriage.

It would not work for us, if my DH were the one who did all the traveling, because I also have a full time job, and then I'd be stuck with the lion's share of the household and kid work. I'd resent the fact that he got to dodge a lot of it.

Travel means more money. So you can afford to pay for household help. Also traveling could mean a higher likelihood for promotions down the road.

Anonymous wrote:If you husband traveled a lot - by personal choice, not out of job necessity. He'd earn a lot of extra money through per diem, but he'd see you and the kids every other month for a couple of weeks, you would spend over 60% of time separately. Would you be OK with that?

hell no
I am not selling our family time for cash

My ex traveled a lot. That's why our marriage lasted over 10 years. Would probably be divorced much sooner if he was not on the road 80% of the time.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with much of this, but opt for a lower percentage of time away from home - basically 15% - one week away out of six. It is always hard to leave, and an adjustment when I return, but otherwise it works very well for our family.

Anonymous wrote:60% is a bit extreme. 30% travel works best I think. It IMPROVES family life. You miss each other and compliment each other. You avoid fighting because your time together is limited. You have fewer or no financial arguments. If you see each other EVERY DAY, the relationship gets very stale. I highly recommend couples spend some time apart in order to have a healthy long lasting marriage.

It would not work for us, if my DH were the one who did all the traveling, because I also have a full time job, and then I'd be stuck with the lion's share of the household and kid work. I'd resent the fact that he got to dodge a lot of it.

Anonymous wrote:Hell, no. Very hard to maintain a marriage with that much time apart.

+1

If my husband did travel that would be the gift. My best friends husband travels and I am jealous. She gets the house to herself and loves it.

No. That's not a marriage.

OP here. I was just wondering... A friend of mine has this with set up with her husband.

I don't think he's faithful to her 100% of the time.

But I was wondering how can such a set-up be tolerated by a family, because I cannot phantom this for myself.

I agree with much of this, but opt for a lower percentage of time away from home - basically 15% - one week away out of six. It is always hard to leave, and an adjustment when I return, but otherwise it works very well for our family.

Anonymous wrote:60% is a bit extreme. 30% travel works best I think. It IMPROVES family life. You miss each other and compliment each other. You avoid fighting because your time together is limited. You have fewer or no financial arguments. If you see each other EVERY DAY, the relationship gets very stale. I highly recommend couples spend some time apart in order to have a healthy long lasting marriage.