Anonymous wrote:You get over it by reminding yourself that the diamond is none of your business.

The stone was not "in the family". It was a gift your parents gave your brother. End of story.

This. Just because it was "in the family" does not mean you have any claim to it, or the equivalent. To me, it is odd to even think that way.

OP here. Genuinely surprised at these responses. I don't come from a MYOB family. My brother is not going to cut me off for anything and my parents would never tell me to F off. I guess I'm kind of annoyed that people seem to be judging me for the way i feel, when in fact im coming to this anonymous board to ask for help because clearly I don't like feeling the way I do about it.

You get over it by reminding yourself that the diamond is none of your business.

The stone was not "in the family". It was a gift your parents gave your brother. End of story.

It's a stone, big deal. You chose to elope. You probably broke your parents' heart.

you asked how you get over it. i would look at it like this: would you want someone else to dictate what you do with your own possessions or money? no. would you want someone else to feel bad or angry because you gave something to someone else because for whatever reason you thought the other person needed it more?

the ring belonged to your parents and it's theirs to do with as they wish. they might gift you with something else later or they might not, but in the end it was theirs to do with as they wish just as your possessions are yours to disseminate as you please.

odds are your parents didn't do this out of spite toward you or your sister and they probably didn't do it to make you feel bad. if you are curious about the reason, ask. you can make up an opening if you want...say you have a friend who's saving a ring for their son to give his future wife and you wondered when you decided your bro would get that ring...if they always knew.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them that it upsets you and see what they say. Try not to be petulant about it, but genuinely disapppointed.

I'm pretty sure of I went to my dad saying I'm worried the stone might leave the family if there's no prenup and that I'm hurt I wasn't given a ring too - my parents would be disgusted with by my jealousy and probably walk on eggshells around me in the future. My dad might even yell "mind your own Goddamn business!"

OP, I wouldn't share these thoughts with anyone. You'll only embarass yourself and cause unnecessary stress for your family.

I'm sure this isn't funny to you PP but it made me laugh. I know exactly what you are talking about. My parents would do the exact same thing!

Anonymous wrote:Tell them that it upsets you and see what they say. Try not to be petulant about it, but genuinely disapppointed.

I'm pretty sure of I went to my dad saying I'm worried the stone might leave the family if there's no prenup and that I'm hurt I wasn't given a ring too - my parents would be disgusted with by my jealousy and probably walk on eggshells around me in the future. My dad might even yell "mind your own Goddamn business!"

OP, I wouldn't share these thoughts with anyone. You'll only embarass yourself and cause unnecessary stress for your family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some parents/families have certain things that they plan to do for either all of their kids, their daughter, their sons, their first borns, etc. I am sure your parents decided at his birth he would someday receive this diamond for his future wife.
My grandmother saved a ring of my birthstone for me but not any of her other grandchildren, at least none received family jewelry that I know about. She didn't have much jewelry and she never played favorites, it was just a birthstone that connected me to the ring.
I often think about what I would pass down to my children. Jewelry I want to collect for myself over the years that can one day be passed on to my children and/or grandchildren.

Is your issue with his girlfriend?

If you had a son, would you not want him to have any family jewelry? If he and his wife gave birth to your first granddaughter, would you want the diamond to someday be passed on to her?

I actually really like his girlfriend. Don't appreciate that she and her mom are looking at wedding venues before she even gets engaged, but that is another story for another time. I want the stone to stay in the family for sure.

Wow. This is none of your business. Your parents can use their money however they like and since you're an adult, you're not owed anything. You're not entitled to any aspect of the stone. How your future SIL plans her wedding -- none of your business! You'll get an invitation, you'll send your acceptance, and then be a gracious guest. Please learn to MYOB before the wedding or your brother may just cut you off.

Girl you are tripping!

Tell them that it upsets you and see what they say. Try not to be petulant about it, but genuinely disapppointed.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my SIL coveted for many years a diamond ring that belonged to her grandma. She finally received it...and it was a cubic zirconia.

Are you sure it wasn't paste? CZ has only been around since the mid 70's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some parents/families have certain things that they plan to do for either all of their kids, their daughter, their sons, their first borns, etc. I am sure your parents decided at his birth he would someday receive this diamond for his future wife.
My grandmother saved a ring of my birthstone for me but not any of her other grandchildren, at least none received family jewelry that I know about. She didn't have much jewelry and she never played favorites, it was just a birthstone that connected me to the ring.
I often think about what I would pass down to my children. Jewelry I want to collect for myself over the years that can one day be passed on to my children and/or grandchildren.

Is your issue with his girlfriend?

If you had a son, would you not want him to have any family jewelry? If he and his wife gave birth to your first granddaughter, would you want the diamond to someday be passed on to her?

I actually really like his girlfriend. Don't appreciate that she and her mom are looking at wedding venues before she even gets engaged, but that is another story for another time. I want the stone to stay in the family for sure.

Apparently your parents don't care about this, or maybe they privately have an arrangement with your brother just in case. so just move on.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my SIL coveted for many years a diamond ring that belonged to her grandma. She finally received it...and it was a cubic zirconia.

That is hilarious. In this case, we are not talking about CZ.

Anonymous wrote:OP, did your parents pay for your wedding? If so, I'd call it even..

No. I did not want a wedding. I eloped.

OP, my SIL coveted for many years a diamond ring that belonged to her grandma. She finally received it...and it was a cubic zirconia.