Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is rejecting your sex, and picking at everything little thing you do, then another female is involved with him. He is trying to find stuff to get you upset enough to leave him, without it being his fault.

He isn't rejecting it. It just isn't improving anything outside the bed. The last time we had a big discussion about how to improve things he said more sex. So I decided to do even more than he asked for. He asked for 2x a week, and I've been trying for 2-3 times a day on the weekend.

2-3 times a day? Sounds a bit much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is rejecting your sex, and picking at everything little thing you do, then another female is involved with him. He is trying to find stuff to get you upset enough to leave him, without it being his fault.

I didn't want to be first to say this, but the same thought came into my mind.

Mine, too.

Men who are having affairs tend to demonize their spouses as a rationalization for their infidelity. Then they can honestly say to the OW that the marriage was bad. It wasn't bad before the affair started, but it becomes bad after that.

Anonymous wrote:If he is rejecting your sex, and picking at everything little thing you do, then another female is involved with him. He is trying to find stuff to get you upset enough to leave him, without it being his fault.

I didn't want to be first to say this, but the same thought came into my mind.

Sounds a lot like my H.
First, it was too little sex. Then, sex wasn't good enough.
I had several sessions of therapy (he wouldn't go), and one of the things I got out of it was: it doesn't make sense to try hard unless you really really mean it. Since I didn't really mean it (I just wanted him to shut up and stop being sullen), I stopped trying.
I feel a bit more relaxed now- and surprisingly, my lack of trying didnt change things for the worse.
Also, I think he is just not cut out for being a responsible grown up family guy. He will always be high maintenance. I am not ready to put in so much effort to just make him a more or less decent man.
I think I will leave soon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I hit the tire my husband says CURB CHECK and laughs.

This is not about sex. It's about a spoiled husband. Tell him to kiss your ass and stop going out of your way to please him. Like with children, never reward bad behavior.

Ha, true. He is an ass and you sleep with him more. Yeah that could be wrong message. Sorry.

Sounds like he's being a whiny little bitch; but don't think that doling out sex as a condition of appropriate behavior is a good idea. It's not. It turns sex into a transaction.

OP - Is DH a lawyer? My ex pulled that same BS with me, I finally had enough and walked out. He was completely unwilling to self-reflect or even try counseling. It's his pee-sized lawyer brain that made him act that way. So so so glad I left!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think he is seeing someone.

This card gets played a lot. Really is every marital strife a sign of an affair?! That tragic thread several months ago notwithstanding.

No idea what you are talking about in regards to another thread, but it's obvious that I'm not the only one who thinks he is seeing someone else. There are signs.

There was a thread where some suggested cheating about a massage receipt and the whole discovery unwound on DCUM. Very sad.

Wasn't it true though? Therefor, she should be concerned.

True but sketchy massage way more damning than perpetual grumps!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think he is seeing someone.

This card gets played a lot. Really is every marital strife a sign of an affair?! That tragic thread several months ago notwithstanding.

No idea what you are talking about in regards to another thread, but it's obvious that I'm not the only one who thinks he is seeing someone else. There are signs.

There was a thread where some suggested cheating about a massage receipt and the whole discovery unwound on DCUM. Very sad.

Wasn't it true though? Therefor, she should be concerned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think he is seeing someone.

This card gets played a lot. Really is every marital strife a sign of an affair?! That tragic thread several months ago notwithstanding.

No idea what you are talking about in regards to another thread, but it's obvious that I'm not the only one who thinks he is seeing someone else. There are signs.

There was a thread where some suggested cheating about a massage receipt and the whole discovery unwound on DCUM. Very sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think he is seeing someone.

This card gets played a lot. Really is every marital strife a sign of an affair?! That tragic thread several months ago notwithstanding.

No idea what you are talking about in regards to another thread, but it's obvious that I'm not the only one who thinks he is seeing someone else. There are signs.

He's ready to be upset way, way too much! Either: 1, you two need therapy; or 2, there is somebody else and he's picking fights as a way to unburden himself.

Either way, you have to talk to him about this. He doesn't get to be an ass to you in front of the kids just because he has a guilty conscience, regardless of the underlying cause.

On the other hand, you have to ask him just what is that underlying cause.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think he is seeing someone.

This card gets played a lot. Really is every marital strife a sign of an affair?! That tragic thread several months ago notwithstanding.

Anonymous wrote:When I hit the tire my husband says CURB CHECK and laughs.

This is not about sex. It's about a spoiled husband. Tell him to kiss your ass and stop going out of your way to please him. Like with children, never reward bad behavior.

Ha, true. He is an ass and you sleep with him more. Yeah that could be wrong message. Sorry.

Sorry, I think he is seeing someone.

When I hit the tire my husband says CURB CHECK and laughs.

This is not about sex. It's about a spoiled husband. Tell him to kiss your ass and stop going out of your way to please him. Like with children, never reward bad behavior.