Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Families are different. My spouse's family calls and sends cards for every conceivable occasion. They go out to nice meals to celebrate them . . . and then get into shouting matches with one another at those meals. My family never calls or sends cards, and gets together far less often . . . but thngs are calm and there's no drama when they get together.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to understand that there's not something "wrong" with your in-laws. They just do things differently than you.

It probably did not even occur to them to call for a 1st birthday because your child will not understand what is happening or remember it later. It doesn't reflect on how much they care about your child or how much they care about you.

Out of curiosity, did your MIL wish you happy mother's day this year? My MIL and my mother both forgot to do that the first year after my son was born. I think it takes grandparents a while to figure out what their role is.

Why in the world would either your mother or your mother in law wish you happy Mother's Day?? You are not their mother! What is wrong with you people?

Because she is a mother. That's why it is called "Mother's Day" not "YOUR Mother's Day". They sell Mother's Day cards for Aunts, Sisters, etc. none of which would be YOUR mother.

You are crazy and bound to be disappointed often.

How am I crazy? You can go in any CVS and find these cards. I did not make it up.
Neither did I say I expected to get a card. I do not care!
I am terrible about these things, a procrastinator.
However my mom AND MIL are good about sending them and I get cards from both.
It's nice, but not an obligation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I would be upset too. My ILs are like this. We are expecting our first baby in a month (first grandchild for both sides) and none of them ever ask to speak to me on the phone when they call DH or ask how I'm doing with the pregnancy. His brother and sister won't even acknowledge I'm pregnant. None of them are planning to visit after the baby is born and I doubt I'll get so much as an email from them when I deliver (a baby gift would be out of the question). His father even flat out told us that he has no plans to meet the baby (probably when the child is in middle school). I've just learned to accept that this is how they are and I avoid them as much as possible (they all live out of state).

Baby -- that is a totally different situation. Your IL's are cray-cray. OP's IL'S have just not called. You do see the difference don't you?

+1!! Fwiw I come from a non birthday oriented family but we love and care about eachother. Just not into the fanfare. My in-laws make a big deal over birthdays and personally I find it narcissistic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Families are different. My spouse's family calls and sends cards for every conceivable occasion. They go out to nice meals to celebrate them . . . and then get into shouting matches with one another at those meals. My family never calls or sends cards, and gets together far less often . . . but thngs are calm and there's no drama when they get together.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to understand that there's not something "wrong" with your in-laws. They just do things differently than you.

It probably did not even occur to them to call for a 1st birthday because your child will not understand what is happening or remember it later. It doesn't reflect on how much they care about your child or how much they care about you.

Out of curiosity, did your MIL wish you happy mother's day this year? My MIL and my mother both forgot to do that the first year after my son was born. I think it takes grandparents a while to figure out what their role is.

Why in the world would either your mother or your mother in law wish you happy Mother's Day?? You are not their mother! What is wrong with you people?

Because she is a mother. That's why it is called "Mother's Day" not "YOUR Mother's Day". They sell Mother's Day cards for Aunts, Sisters, etc. none of which would be YOUR mother.

You are crazy and bound to be disappointed often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Families are different. My spouse's family calls and sends cards for every conceivable occasion. They go out to nice meals to celebrate them . . . and then get into shouting matches with one another at those meals. My family never calls or sends cards, and gets together far less often . . . but thngs are calm and there's no drama when they get together.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to understand that there's not something "wrong" with your in-laws. They just do things differently than you.

It probably did not even occur to them to call for a 1st birthday because your child will not understand what is happening or remember it later. It doesn't reflect on how much they care about your child or how much they care about you.

Out of curiosity, did your MIL wish you happy mother's day this year? My MIL and my mother both forgot to do that the first year after my son was born. I think it takes grandparents a while to figure out what their role is.

Why in the world would either your mother or your mother in law wish you happy Mother's Day?? You are not their mother! What is wrong with you people?

Because she is a mother. That's why it is called "Mother's Day" not "YOUR Mother's Day". They sell Mother's Day cards for Aunts, Sisters, etc. none of which would be YOUR mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I would be upset too. My ILs are like this. We are expecting our first baby in a month (first grandchild for both sides) and none of them ever ask to speak to me on the phone when they call DH or ask how I'm doing with the pregnancy. His brother and sister won't even acknowledge I'm pregnant. None of them are planning to visit after the baby is born and I doubt I'll get so much as an email from them when I deliver (a baby gift would be out of the question). His father even flat out told us that he has no plans to meet the baby (probably when the child is in middle school). I've just learned to accept that this is how they are and I avoid them as much as possible (they all live out of state).

Baby -- that is a totally different situation. Your IL's are cray-cray. OP's IL'S have just not called. You do see the difference don't you?

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. I would be upset too. My ILs are like this. We are expecting our first baby in a month (first grandchild for both sides) and none of them ever ask to speak to me on the phone when they call DH or ask how I'm doing with the pregnancy. His brother and sister won't even acknowledge I'm pregnant. None of them are planning to visit after the baby is born and I doubt I'll get so much as an email from them when I deliver (a baby gift would be out of the question). His father even flat out told us that he has no plans to meet the baby (probably when the child is in middle school). I've just learned to accept that this is how they are and I avoid them as much as possible (they all live out of state).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Families are different. My spouse's family calls and sends cards for every conceivable occasion. They go out to nice meals to celebrate them . . . and then get into shouting matches with one another at those meals. My family never calls or sends cards, and gets together far less often . . . but thngs are calm and there's no drama when they get together.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to understand that there's not something "wrong" with your in-laws. They just do things differently than you.

It probably did not even occur to them to call for a 1st birthday because your child will not understand what is happening or remember it later. It doesn't reflect on how much they care about your child or how much they care about you.

Out of curiosity, did your MIL wish you happy mother's day this year? My MIL and my mother both forgot to do that the first year after my son was born. I think it takes grandparents a while to figure out what their role is.

Why in the world would either your mother or your mother in law wish you happy Mother's Day?? You are not their mother! What is wrong with you people?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Families are different. My spouse's family calls and sends cards for every conceivable occasion. They go out to nice meals to celebrate them . . . and then get into shouting matches with one another at those meals. My family never calls or sends cards, and gets together far less often . . . but thngs are calm and there's no drama when they get together.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to understand that there's not something "wrong" with your in-laws. They just do things differently than you.

It probably did not even occur to them to call for a 1st birthday because your child will not understand what is happening or remember it later. It doesn't reflect on how much they care about your child or how much they care about you.

Out of curiosity, did your MIL wish you happy mother's day this year? My MIL and my mother both forgot to do that the first year after my son was born. I think it takes grandparents a while to figure out what their role is.

Why in the world would either your mother or your mother in law wish you happy Mother's Day?? You are not their mother! What is wrong with you people?

Anonymous wrote:Families are different. My spouse's family calls and sends cards for every conceivable occasion. They go out to nice meals to celebrate them . . . and then get into shouting matches with one another at those meals. My family never calls or sends cards, and gets together far less often . . . but thngs are calm and there's no drama when they get together.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to understand that there's not something "wrong" with your in-laws. They just do things differently than you.

It probably did not even occur to them to call for a 1st birthday because your child will not understand what is happening or remember it later. It doesn't reflect on how much they care about your child or how much they care about you.

Out of curiosity, did your MIL wish you happy mother's day this year? My MIL and my mother both forgot to do that the first year after my son was born. I think it takes grandparents a while to figure out what their role is.