OP I agree that gifts for adults are stupid but am kind of surprised you didn't realize most people do them.

Yes - we're much more well off than my parents, so I spoil them with things they won't buy themselves like an iPad, new camera, etc. I'm an only and think of my parents more like peers or friends.

DH's parents are much better well off and also have a very "we're the parents, you're the kids" dynamic. We collaborate with DH's siblings on a gift from all of us - they live in NYC so Broadway tickets are a common one, this year we're paying for 1/3 of a new Mac computer.

My parents give me a check. I'd rather have gifts, so I send my mom a list. I don't have time to shop.

I do give my parents gifts. I am my dad's Wall Street Journal subscription. My mom I also struggle with. My MIL get's a new piece to her nativity scene every year (thank goodness they come out with a new piece every year!).

My brothers and I don't do gifts. We are all adults and don't need stuff.

Yes

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I buy the presents for my family and DH gets presents for his family.

I always get my mom a particular face lotion that she likes. It is not too expensive but costs enough that she won't buy it herself. I get my dad a gift certificate to Barnes and noble or a gift from Teavana.

My mom usually gets us little things like Christmas decorations from the grocery store or CVS, socks, food items, bottle of wine, or whatever. It is the thought that counts- one year she got me a bunch of the celebrity magazines like star, national enquirer, people, etc. I had my husband drive back while I read through all the trashy magazines. It was fun.

That is great! That to me is a thoughtful gift; something you would enjoy and never buy for yourself.

Several years ago, my SIL planted the seed that we should do a secret santa w/the adults. Best thing ever. We don't exchange with my in-laws - that's how they prefer it and I'm not complaining. Everyone buys for the kids, but we keep that in check.

Yes. I buy the presents for my family and DH gets presents for his family.

I always get my mom a particular face lotion that she likes. It is not too expensive but costs enough that she won't buy it herself. I get my dad a gift certificate to Barnes and noble or a gift from Teavana.

My mom usually gets us little things like Christmas decorations from the grocery store or CVS, socks, food items, bottle of wine, or whatever. It is the thought that counts- one year she got me a bunch of the celebrity magazines like star, national enquirer, people, etc. I had my husband drive back while I read through all the trashy magazines. It was fun.

I'm wondering if I wrote this post and forgot about it. If not, OP, I could have written this, right down to the list from the inlaws. Except, add in a heaping of guilt if what you buy is not on the list and if said inlaws do not each receive the same number of gifts of equal value.

It's so tiresome and I detest exchanging gifts with them. Not to mention that what they send for me and their grandchild is never thoughful, useful, or appropriate, however, they heap gifts on my husband all carefully chosen with his interests and wish list in mind.

OP here. This is exactly how I feel. Wow, I am suprised by the number of people exchanging gifts with family. And I don't want to be a scrouge; I really do love Christmas, but I've never been into buying just to buy.

Oh, and totally good point about my DH buying the presents, but not going to happen. My DH actually is a very thoughtful gift giver. The problem is that he will wait until the very last minute, and then he is stuck with whatever can ship last minute, and usually buys far more than we have budgeted for and will pay ridiculous expedited shipping charges so that he can send the perfect gift. Or, if he shops locally, he will run around all day Christmas Eve, which cuts into our family time. We have Amazon Prime, which should help, but it doesn't seem to in this circumstance.

The other challenge is that we have to be careful about asking for suggestions, because last year his parents asked for something that was really pricey. And they phrased it in terms of, "we really love the X that you have in your house, and it is the only thing that we really want this year. It would mean so much to us if you bought it for us." And my husband said of course. I don't like to remind my husband that we are on a budget, because he gets stressed thinking about money, but I do carefully manage our Christmas spending.

I really hate exchanging presents as adults. The only adult I enjoy buying for is my DH. The others all buy whatever they want anytime they want it, so it's hard to shop for them. I'm hoping later on we can just buy for the kids.

My in-laws are not wanting for any material items. We tend to buy them an experience like tickets to a show.