Anonymous wrote:Well firstly you should never lend to family. Secondly, you should never lend money to anyone if you really need it back, or anticipate really needing it back.

To answer your question more directly, tell your mom, "Hey, I know you're having a rough time, but I'm going through a rough patch too and really need you to start repaying that money I lent you in Sept/Aug for Larlo's books. Can you swing $50 each pay period? No? Well what works for you? What was your plan to pay me back when you said you would ASAP?"

Also OP, I don't know how old your brother is, but if he's 15 or older, have HIM pay you part, if not all. They're HIS books.

"Larlo", hee hee. Thanks for the chuckle.

Part of Polonius' famous speech in Hamlet:

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."

Modern translation: Don't borrow money and don't lend it, since when you lend to a friend, you often lose the friendship as well as the money, and borrowing turns a person into a spendthrift.

Anonymous wrote:Just a PSA people. Loan is a noun. Lend is a verb. You don't loan money, you lend it. I share this for those of you who prefer not to sound uneducated. If you don't care, loan away.

It's both:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/loan?s=t

Just a PSA people. Loan is a noun. Lend is a verb. You don't loan money, you lend it. I share this for those of you who prefer not to sound uneducated. If you don't care, loan away.

I was really pissed at my sister. After giving her $35,000.00 out of my inheritance since she was omitted, her derelict husband calls me two months later to say they are in foreclosure and need $4000.00 ASAP. I ask what happened to the money I just gave her? He says they had tax problems and used the money to pay the IRS. So he insists that he can pay the money back ASAP. But that never happens. I ask, and finally he says to me, "what money are you talking about?" I tell him and he says, I don't remember you loaning us any money. that was the end of that. I chalked it up to a 4000.00 lesson. No, I don't talk to them anymore, nor will I loan money to anyone again.

Mothers who ask for "loans" are exactly the types who wont pay you back. She probably feels that whatever you have is hers, and she only used the "loan" bit rather than ask you outright to get you to part with the money. Yeah, your mother robbed you. Since it sounds like you have a family of losers, I would suggest being very private about your financial affairs in the future. Loser family members tend to hold you back (this episode with your mother being one example). Don't give that women any more money until your schooling is done and your future set. She will certainly suck you dry.

Also, it sounds like she remarried and the guys not your dad? Another red flag. You need to be doubly vigilant in watching your own back.

Good luck to you. I hope nothing derails your education and career goals.

Anonymous wrote:You can ask all you want. You aren't likely to ever get paid back though. You've probably just learned the hard way to never loan anything you can't afford to not get back.

Our relative asked to borrow money. We knew that they were terrible with money and there's a good chance that we may not get it back. So, we loaned them only a portion of the requested amount... an amount we can live without. But, we still had them sign a contract with a promise to start repaying us after one year, and on a monthly installment basis. It was tricky being all business about this, but we wanted to avoid bad feelings between us. So, everything had to be in writing. To our surprise, they paid up. There were a few missed payments, but it worked out. Also, they have not asked to borrow money again!

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP's. Loaning money to family and friends us always a gift. Let it go. Next time she asks for money give it to her as a gift or don't give it at all. Not fair, I know. But loans are business and business and family never mix well.

We loan money to our inlaws (overseas). previously, we gifted them money and we much prefer to loan it. No, we are not going to get it back, but at least now there exits a runnung tally of how much money was sent their way. We gifted them significant amounts which they simply forgot about. Once they denied we gave them $2000 they got less than 6 month before.

Why doesn't your brother get a job and pay you back? I worked while taking a full course load and so do lots of other people.

Agree with PPs that this is a life lesson. Never loan your mother money again. (No offense, OP, but is your mom some kind of addict? Why do you say she's always going through a hard time?). Why does she think you have money to spare? I like the approach of "Mom, I could use that money. When will you and brother's dad be paying me back?"

I agree with PP's. Loaning money to family and friends us always a gift. Let it go. Next time she asks for money give it to her as a gift or don't give it at all. Not fair, I know. But loans are business and business and family never mix well.

It's really horrible that his parents are giving him everything like that. Entitlement is a very dangerous thing for any kid.

You should tell your mom and brother's dad that they need to start repaying the loan in monthly payments, even if it is only $100 a month since it was money you need and were told would be repaid. If they do not pay the loan in full, the next time any of the three ask you for money, tell them you cannot loan them any more money since they did not repay you previously.

You aren't going to see this money again.

Anonymous wrote:The semester is also most over, tell your brother he needs to return the books to you as soon as exams are done. Don't let him sell them, sell them on amazon or usedtextbooks.com so at least you get a couple hundred dollars back.

+1

The semester is also most over, tell your brother he needs to return the books to you as soon as exams are done. Don't let him sell them, sell them on amazon or usedtextbooks.com so at least you get a couple hundred dollars back.