It looks like he rejected you even then, when things looked promising. The odds of them working out this time around are very small. I know you say you just want to see what's up, but even if that is true at this moment, the chances are it would escalate very quickly on your side.

I see no harm in contacting him after all this time.

Just don't get your hopes up. 20 yrs. is a very LONG time and a lot has changed since then. Hopefully, he still remembers you and if he does, has fond memories of you.

Perhaps you both can catch up via e~mail which would be nice.

Just keep it casual and light...I wouldn't initially bring up anything that happened between you guys until you + him have been talking for a while. That way, things won't get too awkward at first.

Please keep us posted on what happens if you do go through and contact him.

I always wonder what happens in the end to these types of stories.

No, because it was more than a crush. You had a relationship with him, a close friendship with a lot of emotions on both sides, that ended badly. Leave it in the past.

I say this as someone who is FB friends with some old crushes, and the only reason it's possible is that no one including them knows I ever felt that way. It's definitely "felt" in the past tense, now I am able to enjoy the things I liked about them like their sense of humor or music or whatever while getting to see that we are totally incompatible in other ways. I have also chosen not to resume contact with some old friends where our friendships ended badly because it's really all just better left in the past.

Not right now, OP. Take his contact info and stash it away, put a reminder on your calendar for June 1, 2014 and try to forget it until then. When your calendar reminds you, you can revisit the question. For now, concentrate on resolving your marriage and bringing yourself and your child through that experience. You have enough to do right now.

Well, you asked!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop lying to yourself. You are vulnerable right now and you want that happy move ending with him. It was 20 years ago... Let it go.

+1.

+ 2

+3. Or really + a million.

Maybe hold onto the contact info in a safe place and pull it out in 6 months. To be honest, you sound really immature the way you even write about it. In your current state I don't think you could handle the contact. He was overly emotional as a 17 year old kid away from home? Imagine. If this really is 20 years later, you're both different people now. I initially read it as 2 years ago - is that possible? Because it sounds like it was written by a teenager.

+4 and + a million to the bolded above

What do you have to lose? I have a guy I feel like I have unfinished business with and he has never stopped crossing my mind. I wish I had guts like you to initiate contact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop lying to yourself. You are vulnerable right now and you want that happy move ending with him. It was 20 years ago... Let it go.

+1.

+ 2

+3. Or really + a million.

Maybe hold onto the contact info in a safe place and pull it out in 6 months. To be honest, you sound really immature the way you even write about it. In your current state I don't think you could handle the contact. He was overly emotional as a 17 year old kid away from home? Imagine. If this really is 20 years later, you're both different people now. I initially read it as 2 years ago - is that possible? Because it sounds like it was written by a teenager.

Anonymous wrote:I would not do it. I am unmarried like you. There was once a Soccer (Travel) parent who flirted with me, and I recently heard that they are now divorced. I would never talk to this person, because you open up an emotional can of worms that can only end in disappointment. The fantasy in your mind is different from the reality of the person. Focus on yourself, and forget your dream to nowhere.

Huh. That seems rather extreme to me, given your circumstances. Ever heard this quote:

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.”

I would not do it. I am unmarried like you. There was once a Soccer (Travel) parent who flirted with me, and I recently heard that they are now divorced. I would never talk to this person, because you open up an emotional can of worms that can only end in disappointment. The fantasy in your mind is different from the reality of the person. Focus on yourself, and forget your dream to nowhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop lying to yourself. You are vulnerable right now and you want that happy move ending with him. It was 20 years ago... Let it go.

+1.

+ 2