From Common Sense Media (which many seem to be lacking):

Parents need to know that Call of Duty: Black Ops is a very violent military-themed first person shooter in which players use a wide variety of weapons and explosives to kill hundreds of enemies in the campaign and countless more human-controlled avatars online. It features violent interrogations, graphic melee combat, and lots of blood. The visceral nature of the action combined with its complex Cold War narrative leave little doubt that it was designed for an adult audience. It is not appropriate for children.


I find it really surprising, and a little sad, how many parents think this is OK for their young teenagers.


--Mother of 2 teenagers who don't play 'M' rated games

I would try to get them to do alternate activities, play football, go for a walk, maybe bring some games that work for all ages. Does anyone in the family watch football--maybe encourage them to monopolize the tv with a football game.

If it's not your house then you can't do anything about what the other kids play. Just tell your son he is not allowed to watch and has to stay out of the room while the other boys play.

OP, we had a similar situation awhile back at my SIL's with her 14yo playing a similar, extremely violent game in the family room on a humongous TV when DH and I were there with our 5yo (and 3yo.) After breakfast, I hadn't seen my kid in a little while, and when I found him he was watching his older cousing play and was totally entranced. When I realized what was going on, I was like, "Whoops! That's not a game for you buddy. Let's go play outside!" He resisted at first, because of COURSE hanging with your 14yo cousin is way cooler than playing outside with your mom and 3yo sister. I think DH said something to his sister, because the next time my nephew fired up the game system, she said, "pick something else becaues Aunt doesn't like her son to see this kind of game." Nice, pass the buck on to me as the bad guy! Newphew complied and started playing a snow-boarding game which he let DS play for a little bit.

My son WORSHIPS his older cousin, and wants nothing more than his attention, but cousin would rather play video games all day (granted, when we are there, he ususally on his school break, and I hope that he doesn't have unfettered access to video games all day when school is in session). I usually pull nephew aside and talk to him like an adult, saying something like, "DS was really excited to see you! If you took him outside and kicked the soccer ball with him, it would really make happy." Nephew usually does, and then later when he wants to play his video game again, DH and I will just do something with the little kids.

Anonymous wrote:Offer to pay the oldest cousin $25/hour to play something other than Call of Duty with your child.

OP, I second the suggestion of bribery.

OP here. I always supervise my kid. It's not, IMO, an issue of supervision. It's an issue of my child's being able (or not) to socialize with his cousins.

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old has COD, and I can promise you that he would be horrified if a little kid was around that game. I think you are jumping to conclusions that the older kids wouldn't understand your desire that a five year old shouldn't see that stuff.

If there's a separate game room, I would ask the boys directly if they could play a different game (like a sports game) while your five year old hangs out with the "big kids" for a while. Then you can bring your five year old to another room to do something age appropriate.

You can get used XBox games at Gamespot for around $20, so I like PP's suggestion that you get one for all to play.

If the tv is in a general area, then I would hope that the parents/adults in the group wouldn't allow that kind of game to go on while there are multi-ages present.

I agree with the bolded, my 13 year old has COD and he does not play it when my 8 year old is around. The video games are in the common area so if he wants to play he will ask my 8 year old to go in another room. And for those folks who have never heard of young teens playing these games I'm the opposite. Most of my sons friends have these games.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a 12 year old here: CALL OF DUTY??? Are you kidding? What the hell is wrong with people? My kid is well-liked and has many friends. I have been to friends' homes and know their parents. None have this game.

OP--I would give the host mom a call and ask when/where this nonsense is going to be played (of course you will NOT use my harsh judgmental language). If this is family, then you should be able to have this kind of conversation.

Thanks. It's family and we've discussed our different parenting views about violent video games before. I was told I am too strict and it's the kids with strict parents who get in the most trouble. Of course, I don't see it as strict. I, like most parents, feel I'm the reasonable one. But I thought I could still make a request for no M games since my kid is FIVE. And he will naturally want to hang out with the other kids, not the boring adults.

Mom of a 14 yr old boy here. COD and HALO?!?!?! None of my kids' friends (or my boys) play this. That's insane. I've played it (judge away! ), and it is totally inappropriate for a 12 yr old--let alone for younger. You are not too strict. Do not let your kid near these games. Really.

Anonymous wrote:Let's read between the lines here.

The real problem is that OP, like all of the adults, wants to drink and have a good time with the grown-ups, while everyone wants to lump "the kids" -- be they 2 or 12 -- together. That works, sort of, in the early baby years when your child will sleep thru the madness, but at 5, as OP is discovering, is the real age when supervision is needed.

OP, if you feel strongly about it, I think you're just going to have to suck it up and be responsible for keeping your child away from all of this. You cannot ask older kids not to do what they want to do, especially in their own home. The idea to bring group age-appropriate games for all of them to try to play together is a good one, but don't expect that to last the entire day. Bottom line: You are responsible for keeping your 5 year old away from this if you don't like it.

Yup. I agree. You'll have to supervise. It's not the 12 year olds responsibility to watch out for your kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a 12 year old here: CALL OF DUTY??? Are you kidding? What the hell is wrong with people? My kid is well-liked and has many friends. I have been to friends' homes and know their parents. None have this game.

OP--I would give the host mom a call and ask when/where this nonsense is going to be played (of course you will NOT use my harsh judgmental language). If this is family, then you should be able to have this kind of conversation.

Thanks. It's family and we've discussed our different parenting views about violent video games before. I was told I am too strict and it's the kids with strict parents who get in the most trouble. Of course, I don't see it as strict. I, like most parents, feel I'm the reasonable one. But I thought I could still make a request for no M games since my kid is FIVE. And he will naturally want to hang out with the other kids, not the boring adults.

If they already think you are overly strict, they are most certainly going to find this request unreasonable. While there may not be an "easy" way to keep your child separate from the video game group, there is always a way, and that is your responsibility as a parent. It's not always easy, especially when your views don't confirm to those of your family or friends. But if your values are important to you, you will find a way to make it happen. Whether it's bringing an iPad for your kid to watch appropriate videos, paying one of the teenagers to "babysit" away from the fray, only staying for the meal itself, or some other creative solution, it's on you to figure it out without inconveniencing family members who you know don't agree with your approach.

I got the sense that the game is set up in one of the common areas (like the living room) and that it isn't as easy as just sending the big kids off to a back bedroom to play.

The relatives also IMO sound completely unreasonable if this is the case, but I don't think there's anything OP will be able to do about that.

Let's read between the lines here.

The real problem is that OP, like all of the adults, wants to drink and have a good time with the grown-ups, while everyone wants to lump "the kids" -- be they 2 or 12 -- together. That works, sort of, in the early baby years when your child will sleep thru the madness, but at 5, as OP is discovering, is the real age when supervision is needed.

OP, if you feel strongly about it, I think you're just going to have to suck it up and be responsible for keeping your child away from all of this. You cannot ask older kids not to do what they want to do, especially in their own home. The idea to bring group age-appropriate games for all of them to try to play together is a good one, but don't expect that to last the entire day. Bottom line: You are responsible for keeping your 5 year old away from this if you don't like it.

My 14 year old has COD, and I can promise you that he would be horrified if a little kid was around that game. I think you are jumping to conclusions that the older kids wouldn't understand your desire that a five year old shouldn't see that stuff.

If there's a separate game room, I would ask the boys directly if they could play a different game (like a sports game) while your five year old hangs out with the "big kids" for a while. Then you can bring your five year old to another room to do something age appropriate.

You can get used XBox games at Gamespot for around $20, so I like PP's suggestion that you get one for all to play.

If the tv is in a general area, then I would hope that the parents/adults in the group wouldn't allow that kind of game to go on while there are multi-ages present.

Anonymous wrote:We are combining families and significant others in a new way this year for Thanksgiving. A lot of kids will be there, ages 2-12. The older kids have these games and want to play them. I have a younger child (5) and don't want him seeing or playing those games. There is no easy way to keep him separate for the other kids. Am I out of line asking for no "M" games on Thanksgiving while we are there?

What are the age spreads? How many kids? OP said there are older kids which as a group want to play those games. Is the real problem a clump of older kids and a clump of toddlers with none ages 4-7 [a peer group for the 5 year old]? Many people do have the rec room/gaming area TV plus a FR TV. If not the older ones might move a small TV into a bedroom.

My kids saw those games when at family functions like this and at homes where friends had older brothers. Relax-those older kids might let him work a clicker once or twice to be courteous but he will drift off to another activity rather than sit and watch them play. Same will happen if they move onto Madden or FIFA.

Offer to pay the oldest cousin $25/hour to play something other than Call of Duty with your child.