Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:35
Subject: Re:Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:I did not see the TED talk or read the research but I wonder how old the kids were ... the pictures they showed.
It would also be interesting if they showed the MRI of a women's (and man's) love before the children were born vs. the after.
Also, I think women would show more intense love for an infant vs. their 40 year old adult child. I think it is instinct and a survival of the fittest type of reaction.
I slowly become less and less "involved" in my kids lives as they grow into adult. Though I don't love them less the intense need to ensure they are safe, loved and protected slowly becomes a cool confidence that they will keep themselves safe, somebody else loves them and they not only don't need my protection but grow to protect others.
I think the really strong marriages are where a husband respects that a wife will live and die for their child (at least at first) and accepts that this slowly and comfortably becomes less. I think marriages that suffer have men that compete with their children for this love. In turn I think by allowing the women this intense need to love and be with her child turns into more love for her husband.
Wisest post on here.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:35
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Different kind of love….love doesn't have to be mutually exclusive…and also, being where you're needed (like, crib side at night) doesn't translate into who loves who more.
Most importantly, it's fluid, not static, so when a child is a baby there's something different going on then when the child is a teenager or adult.
And frankly, (not talking about love but who I feel closest to), now that my kids are older, some days I feel closer to one kid, some days the other, some days my DH.
Don't know why people want to take a moment in time and spin it out for their whole lives.
Most importantly, it's fluid, not static, so when a child is a baby there's something different going on then when the child is a teenager or adult.
And frankly, (not talking about love but who I feel closest to), now that my kids are older, some days I feel closer to one kid, some days the other, some days my DH.
Don't know why people want to take a moment in time and spin it out for their whole lives.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:34
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:While men usually love their wives more ?
I saw it in a ted talk by a woman who researched love with mri scans
Research has also shown that men take way longer to fall out of love in the occurrence of a break up, while it happens much faster in women
what does mri scans mean: they've shown a number of husbands and wives pictures of their partners and children and looked at the reactions ^^
OP, what a silly question. You are asking to compare apples to oranges. Parents love their children in a nurturing way. While love between two adults have different aspects- romance, companionship, etc. Obviously. It's hard to generalize. Also, mothers love their young children in a different manner than for their grown children. How do you take all that into account?
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:28
Subject: Re:Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
I did not see the TED talk or read the research but I wonder how old the kids were ... the pictures they showed.
It would also be interesting if they showed the MRI of a women's (and man's) love before the children were born vs. the after.
Also, I think women would show more intense love for an infant vs. their 40 year old adult child. I think it is instinct and a survival of the fittest type of reaction.
I slowly become less and less "involved" in my kids lives as they grow into adult. Though I don't love them less the intense need to ensure they are safe, loved and protected slowly becomes a cool confidence that they will keep themselves safe, somebody else loves them and they not only don't need my protection but grow to protect others.
I think the really strong marriages are where a husband respects that a wife will live and die for their child (at least at first) and accepts that this slowly and comfortably becomes less. I think marriages that suffer have men that compete with their children for this love. In turn I think by allowing the women this intense need to love and be with her child turns into more love for her husband.
It would also be interesting if they showed the MRI of a women's (and man's) love before the children were born vs. the after.
Also, I think women would show more intense love for an infant vs. their 40 year old adult child. I think it is instinct and a survival of the fittest type of reaction.
I slowly become less and less "involved" in my kids lives as they grow into adult. Though I don't love them less the intense need to ensure they are safe, loved and protected slowly becomes a cool confidence that they will keep themselves safe, somebody else loves them and they not only don't need my protection but grow to protect others.
I think the really strong marriages are where a husband respects that a wife will live and die for their child (at least at first) and accepts that this slowly and comfortably becomes less. I think marriages that suffer have men that compete with their children for this love. In turn I think by allowing the women this intense need to love and be with her child turns into more love for her husband.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:25
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not this again. How many times do we have to discuss?
Are you new to DCUM? I'm guessing you are, maybe? Here's a clue: The same topics come up frequently on this site.
OP is not new here. He posts this same topic over and over and over again.
And I thought this is the first time I posted this topic.
My mistake, then. Perhaps you could strike up a friendship with the MRA who has posted this exact same thing multiple times.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:23
Subject: Re:Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:
And we wonder why our divorce rates are so high
Who's "we"? I don't wonder this.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:22
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not this again. How many times do we have to discuss?
Are you new to DCUM? I'm guessing you are, maybe? Here's a clue: The same topics come up frequently on this site.
OP is not new here. He posts this same topic over and over and over again.
And I thought this is the first time I posted this topic.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:20
Subject: Re:Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love my kids more than I love my husband. I can replace him, the kids I can't.
I think those women who think that way don't really love their husband at all.
Not true. Love husband dearly. But he knows if I ever had to choose between saving kid and saving him that it's been fun. And, well, good luck.
how easy right ?
Marry and replace.
And we wonder why our divorce rates are so high
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:17
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not this again. How many times do we have to discuss?
Are you new to DCUM? I'm guessing you are, maybe? Here's a clue: The same topics come up frequently on this site.
OP is not new here. He posts this same topic over and over and over again.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:12
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:We've had this debate before. It's a different love. I love and lust for my husband. He will be there once the kids we love are out of the nest. He is amazing and makes me a better person.
+1! I'm sorry and concerned for the women who claim that they love their kids more than their husbands; it's unhealthy and weird, especially those who blithely claim that they could "replace" their husbands. Of course, my husband helped create my children. He also happens to be a great guy. Everybody, if you want to stay married, you have to appreciate your spouse, at least.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:10
Subject: Re:Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love my kids more than I love my husband. I can replace him, the kids I can't.
I think those women who think that way don't really love their husband at all.
Not true. Love husband dearly. But he knows if I ever had to choose between saving kid and saving him that it's been fun. And, well, good luck.
Yes, that's your job as a parent, and his as well. But then you are going to go out and "replace" him?
Anonymous
11/09/2013 08:09
Subject: Re:Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love my kids more than I love my husband. I can replace him, the kids I can't.
I think those women who think that way don't really love their husband at all.
+1
And I'm not saying people can't have a wonderful second marriage if their spouse dies or something, but the people I know in that situation wouldn't speak of the second spouse as a "replacement" for the first, even though both spouses were equally loved.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 06:42
Subject: Re:Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I love my kids more than I love my husband. I can replace him, the kids I can't.
I think those women who think that way don't really love their husband at all.
Not true. Love husband dearly. But he knows if I ever had to choose between saving kid and saving him that it's been fun. And, well, good luck.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 06:33
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Oh, you again.
Anonymous
11/09/2013 06:24
Subject: Do women love their kids more than their husbands ?
Anonymous wrote:Not this again. How many times do we have to discuss?
Are you new to DCUM? I'm guessing you are, maybe? Here's a clue: The same topics come up frequently on this site.