Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where my sex drive has gone, but it is not there. We still have sex about every 2.5 weeks, maybe more, but if it were up to my sex drive it would never happen. I love my husband, and know the importance of sex, but the drive is not there. We have 2 kids, the youngest is age 1, hoping that as the kids get older things will change.

OP, what people will not tell you is that, most women do not want sex after menopause. They will have it just to please the husband, but women can cut out sex altogether after 50 yo. That explains why these politicians' wives stick with their cheating husbands. Look at Hilary and Spitzer's wife.

This has got to be a stereotype. Signed, a near-50 y.o. DW definitely still into it.

Have you gone through menopause? Or peri menopause?
I'm 43 and worry that my sex drive is on borrowed time because I've been reading about decreases libido with menopause.

"No, I'm very much menstrual," to quote "AbFab," although that time of the month seems easier than when I was younger. FWIW, my sex drive is increasing as I get older and the danger of another pregnancy vanishes, so I honestly think the trend will continue.

Yes, stereotype. It varies a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where my sex drive has gone, but it is not there. We still have sex about every 2.5 weeks, maybe more, but if it were up to my sex drive it would never happen. I love my husband, and know the importance of sex, but the drive is not there. We have 2 kids, the youngest is age 1, hoping that as the kids get older things will change.

OP, what people will not tell you is that, most women do not want sex after menopause. They will have it just to please the husband, but women can cut out sex altogether after 50 yo. That explains why these politicians' wives stick with their cheating husbands. Look at Hilary and Spitzer's wife.

This has got to be a stereotype. Signed, a near-50 y.o. DW definitely still into it.

Have you gone through menopause? Or peri menopause?
I'm 43 and worry that my sex drive is on borrowed time because I've been reading about decreases libido with menopause.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where my sex drive has gone, but it is not there. We still have sex about every 2.5 weeks, maybe more, but if it were up to my sex drive it would never happen. I love my husband, and know the importance of sex, but the drive is not there. We have 2 kids, the youngest is age 1, hoping that as the kids get older things will change.

OP, what people will not tell you is that, most women do not want sex after menopause. They will have it just to please the husband, but women can cut out sex altogether after 50 yo. That explains why these politicians' wives stick with their cheating husbands. Look at Hilary and Spitzer's wife.

This has got to be a stereotype. Signed, a near-50 y.o. DW definitely still into it.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where my sex drive has gone, but it is not there. We still have sex about every 2.5 weeks, maybe more, but if it were up to my sex drive it would never happen. I love my husband, and know the importance of sex, but the drive is not there. We have 2 kids, the youngest is age 1, hoping that as the kids get older things will change.

OP, what people will not tell you is that, most women do not want sex after menopause. They will have it just to please the husband, but women can cut out sex altogether after 50 yo. That explains why these politicians' wives stick with their cheating husbands. Look at Hilary and Spitzer's wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you stand it. We can only get together two or three times a week and I'm miserable. How can you bear the lack of affection?

If sex is the only time you're getting any affection, it sounds like your relationship has other problems.

It's not the only time we share affection. We kiss each other and tell each other we love one another every day, which is why we still have a sex life. It's just not the daily affair it once was.

I'm baffled at people who never have sex and still manage to stay married. It sounds inevitable that at least one partner would seek out an affair.

Spice it up. Wear something sexy, watch porn, get toys, lights on, sex in a public place, try a new position, go to a strip club. I find that married people with kids tend to make sex boring and routine. They do it as if they do the dishes, like a chore.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you stand it. We can only get together two or three times a week and I'm miserable. How can you bear the lack of affection?

If sex is the only time you're getting any affection, it sounds like your relationship has other problems.

I don't know how you stand it. We can only get together two or three times a week and I'm miserable. How can you bear the lack of affection?

I have no sex drive (attribute it to the combination of breastfeeding, birth control, lack of me time, and my H's general lack of parenting partnership qualities), but am conflicted about getting it back.
On the one hand, I need it to keep this marriage thing going (and H is a bit obsessed with sex, bones are never enough, he needs the real meat). On the other, I feel so darn FREE. I made so many stupid decisions because of my high libido in my 20s- I stayed with the wrong people, had sex in totally unsuitable situations, paid for motel rooms, lost friendships over prioritizing stupid shagging of useless guys over my friends' interests... I could go on and on, but it feels liberating to not feel this urge anymore.

Also don't underestimate the power of a good handjob and or maybe just maybe a blow job

Less time constraints and less involved but still helps connect you

And be honest I know you want more but here is a compromise

Good luck

-polychromatic

I agree to try getting off hormonal birth control. I swear the pill works for me by just making me practice the most effective form of birth control: abstinence.

Have your testosterone levels checked. And I agree to fake it til you make it. Of all the times I have just had sex as a favor to DH, I think theres only been once that I wasn't glad afterwards that I had (and not just because I felt like I'd done something nice for him).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're done with kids, have your DH get a vascetomy - eliminating both hormonal birth control + fears about getting pregnant + the work to using birth control will likely help.

It might help, but it might not. I'm a DH who got snipped in part to try to help my wife's sex drive. It didn't. If I'd been on the fence about the procedure and she talked me into it, I'd be pissed right now.

Agree with both of these. Unless the guy is sure, he shouldn't get a vasectomy. If he is sure, it's definitely good to get the wife off hormonal birth control. It may or may not help with the libido.

Anonymous wrote:If you're done with kids, have your DH get a vascetomy - eliminating both hormonal birth control + fears about getting pregnant + the work to using birth control will likely help.

It might help, but it might not. I'm a DH who got snipped in part to try to help my wife's sex drive. It didn't. If I'd been on the fence about the procedure and she talked me into it, I'd be pissed right now.

Anonymous wrote:It's a lot of fish oil. Mega doses of it. Weight based, i cant really sum up that dose. Cut carbs as much as possible. Iron, magnesium, multi-vitamin, vitamin c and calcium...I think that's it.
Basically eat lots of veggies, lean meats, do the vitamins, and oh yeah an ounce of dark chocolate a day. Plus she also recommends using a vaginal weight thing which I haven't started yet. Seriously I went from not really caring much about sex (but accommodating my husband 4x a week or so) to being actively horny frequently, even when he isn't home getting things going. We have sex at least 2x a day now, sometimes more. It's a lot of fun.

That's interesting. I made those changes in my diet recently for other reasons and noticed a considerable jump in my sex drive.