Anonymous wrote:Pp can you expand about what you mean in terms of burgundy farm?

Hi. What I meant regarding Burgundy is that the students are very much similar to each other in terms of life experience, backgrounds, views, etc. ... Which is not at all surprising as the school attracts fairly like-minded (and in my opinion nice) people. BUT, if your child is different, quirky, odd, or has social deficits, it is difficult for a child to find a niche at such a small place. Or a niche inhabited by a friend or two anyway. The teachers and staff work very hard to teach kindness, tolerance, and so forth, but there is a big difference between being accepted and having actual friends. Just as there is a difference between being viewed as a classmate versus a friend. So any school that has such small numbers of kids per grade can be so wonderful for most children yet so limiting for that other smaller group of kids. It is nothing against the school. Burgundy has one or two quirky kids per grade thus seemingly having a good cohort of such kids .... But although they know each other across grades, most friendships are within grade and the several quirky kids don't necessarily look to each other as friend material. Two kids with social deficits thrown together doesn't work out too well ...

As another poster put it, we left the school to find our child a larger cohort rather than to get away from Burgundy for other reasons. The larger school worked so much better from a social standpoint. I'm not suggesting that our experience would be universal, but it turned out dead opposite from what we originally had envisioned so just wanted to share. And our child is also not AS.

Anonymous wrote:Lowell used to be committed to Responsive Classroom. Doesn't seem to be anymore. Any schools other than Beauvoir?

Yu Ying uses a responsive classroom model but it's a public immersion language charter school. Our child with Asperger's goes there and they do a very good job in providing a very nurturing, inclusive environment. However, while a responsive classroom model is nice to have it isn't enough for someone with social deficits like our DS. He needs and gets a lot more social supports through his IEP.

Lowell used to be committed to Responsive Classroom. Doesn't seem to be anymore. Any schools other than Beauvoir?

I would look for a school that is fully implementing Responsive Classroom. By fully implementing, I mean all of the classroom teachers have gone through the 30 hour training, are doing Morning Meeting every day, has an administration that actively supports it with logical consequences and on-going professional development. I know that Beauvoir is very committed to Responsive Classroom.

That is, NOT Aspberger's ^^^ son.

Anonymous wrote:I caution parents about seeking out such small schools for your socially awkward child. We tried that strategy ... It seemed like a smaller class size and a warm, nurturing atmosphere would be a big help. But it really was not. A culture of kindness is very nice but not the same as actual instruction and practice in pragmatics, nonverbal communications, and so forth.

The larger problem was the actual small class size itself. With only 30 kids per grade, the potential for finding a compatible true friend or two can be very difficult for certain children. Moreover, the fact that other kids have close friendships and play dates is very obvious to your child in such a small setting ... Over time, this can become very painful emotionally. Standing alone at carpool watching groups of classmates going home to each other's houses and off to fun activities each day for years becomes a torment.

Switching away from such a small setting to a larger cohort of kids made a tremendous social improvement for our child. Tremendous.

I strongly agree with this important point. We are in this situation right now with anot AS son who has an unusual personality. He is able to make and keep and maintain the very occasional close friend -- but the odds are against this with such a tiny cohort.

It's a real dilemma because his school is excellent overall. We will not be fleeing the school so much as we will be jumping ship in search of a much larger pool of peers (with the hopes that 2 or 3 kids out of 200 will be a great match.).

Something to think about, op, and it becomes much more to the fore as kids leave preschool (where just about all same-gender kids have the same superficial interests and can "be friends" on that basis alone).

Pp can you expand about what you mean in terms of burgundy farm?

Anonymous wrote:Burgundy Farm

Great place for neurotypical kid but not at all for awkward child. Academics also an issue, depending on how smart your child is.

I caution parents about seeking out such small schools for your socially awkward child. We tried that strategy ... It seemed like a smaller class size and a warm, nurturing atmosphere would be a big help. But it really was not. A culture of kindness is very nice but not the same as actual instruction and practice in pragmatics, nonverbal communications, and so forth.

The larger problem was the actual small class size itself. With only 30 kids per grade, the potential for finding a compatible true friend or two can be very difficult for certain children. Moreover, the fact that other kids have close friendships and play dates is very obvious to your child in such a small setting ... Over time, this can become very painful emotionally. Standing alone at carpool watching groups of classmates going home to each other's houses and off to fun activities each day for years becomes a torment.

Switching away from such a small setting to a larger cohort of kids made a tremendous social improvement for our child. Tremendous.

Lowell teachers are not trained to help with social awkwardness, so it is hit or miss whether you will have a good experience -- teacher dependent, as at other privates. Lowell does have a curriculum that focuses on social interactions as well academic prowess, but that doesn't translate into teachers who teach social skills. Especially with the huge faculty turnover the past 5 years, it doesn't seem like the school has been able to focus on teaching the teachers how to teach children a social curriculum.

For what it is worth, you are likely best off finding a school that is extremely nurturing, and shows a real interest in your child - when people are committed to a particular child, they are more likely to learn what they need to learn to help her succeed.

Your child sounds much like ours. We are at the Barnesville school, which is absolutely perfect for a smart child who needs a nurturing social environment. It is basically our dream school come to life.

St. Andrews also made a favorable impression on us, in case you can't make the drive to Barnesville, but of those two strong-seeming choices, we felt Barnesville seemed the better one, and we have been very happy there.

We looked at McLean but they seem more oriented toward other kinds of learning differences, and weren't the right fit for our daughter's mix of academic prowess and social challenges.

Holton

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:McLean has it as part of the curriculum in the lower school.

I know of a socially awkward child who had a terrible time at Lowell.

Really? Would you mind sharing a bit of their experience at Lowell, if you know details, and when this was? Also how old were they , please.

A child who had to leave because of social problems and the school was not helpful. I don't want to identify.

As the mother of a child with AS I can tell you that there's a difference between schools that are progressive and tolerant and schools that have a social curriculum. Many of you love your DC's schools and thats great. You may find it a very inclusive, nurturing environment. But that is not the same thing as a school that actively works on pragmatics and social skills as part of its curriculum. And children who benefit from that are not necessarily on the spectrum. So if you are suggesting a school simply because you have a typical child there and it seems like a kind place, you may want to hold off because OP is looking for something more specific.

OP, you might post in the SN section. Good luck.

I asked about Lowell not so as to identify the child mentioned but because we are considering applying there.
My understanding is that there is a social curriculum as a big part of the education and that the school counselor is actively involved in trying to prevent any exclusion, etc amongst the kids. My child is ok with social skills but they could be improved. Was this under the current head of school or over five years ago?

Over 5 years ago. I didn't realize it was so long ago until I saw your latest post so I regret posting at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:McLean has it as part of the curriculum in the lower school.

I know of a socially awkward child who had a terrible time at Lowell.

Really? Would you mind sharing a bit of their experience at Lowell, if you know details, and when this was? Also how old were they , please.

A child who had to leave because of social problems and the school was not helpful. I don't want to identify.

As the mother of a child with AS I can tell you that there's a difference between schools that are progressive and tolerant and schools that have a social curriculum. Many of you love your DC's schools and thats great. You may find it a very inclusive, nurturing environment. But that is not the same thing as a school that actively works on pragmatics and social skills as part of its curriculum. And children who benefit from that are not necessarily on the spectrum. So if you are suggesting a school simply because you have a typical child there and it seems like a kind place, you may want to hold off because OP is looking for something more specific.

OP, you might post in the SN section. Good luck.

I asked about Lowell not so as to identify the child mentioned but because we are considering applying there.
My understanding is that there is a social curriculum as a big part of the education and that the school counselor is actively involved in trying to prevent any exclusion, etc amongst the kids. My child is ok with social skills but they could be improved. Was this under the current head of school or over five years ago?

Burgundy Farm