Anonymous
10/28/2013 19:16
Subject: I think we need to break up
Just do it. Time to move on. Sit him down, tell him you're breaking up with him. If you give him reasons, he'll argue each one. Don't feel nuts...move on!!
Anonymous
10/28/2013 18:58
Subject: I think we need to break up
Anonymous wrote:you're 21.
Yes I am. And?
Thank you everyone who has chimed in so far. I'm feeling a bit less nuts about the whole thing!
Anonymous
10/28/2013 18:52
Subject: I think we need to break up
you're 21.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 18:38
Subject: I think we need to break up
Do not move in with him for a month when you know you are breaking up with him. That is using him and taking advantage of him.
While I agree you don't need to go through every little detail, it is good to have a conversation. Not giving someone a reason or acting like there is no reason leads to no closure for the dumpee.
Tell him his good qualities and you appreciate how you've grown in this relationship - basically it wasn't all bad and let him know you are too different (different goals), and you aren't ready for marriage.
While I agree you don't need to go through every little detail, it is good to have a conversation. Not giving someone a reason or acting like there is no reason leads to no closure for the dumpee.
Tell him his good qualities and you appreciate how you've grown in this relationship - basically it wasn't all bad and let him know you are too different (different goals), and you aren't ready for marriage.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 18:29
Subject: I think we need to break up
For a twenty one yr. old, you have an amazing head on your shoulders.
You are very well-spoken and know exactly what you want out of life.
I am 44 and when I was your age, I was nowhere near where you are at intellectually or common sense wise.
That being said, you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you.
If you do not feel like this guy is Mr. Right, then by all means, do not lead him on any longer. The longer things go on, the harder it will be for both of you when things don't pan out.
I wouldn't stay w/him just for a place to stay. That would be wrong in so many ways.
Find another place to stay and break up w/him sooner rather than later.
It won't be easy, but the sooner you let him go, the sooner you will be giving both of you the opportunity to move on to a more compatible relationship that will be more suitable for both of you.
Good luck.
You are very well-spoken and know exactly what you want out of life.
I am 44 and when I was your age, I was nowhere near where you are at intellectually or common sense wise.
That being said, you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you.
If you do not feel like this guy is Mr. Right, then by all means, do not lead him on any longer. The longer things go on, the harder it will be for both of you when things don't pan out.
I wouldn't stay w/him just for a place to stay. That would be wrong in so many ways.
Find another place to stay and break up w/him sooner rather than later.
It won't be easy, but the sooner you let him go, the sooner you will be giving both of you the opportunity to move on to a more compatible relationship that will be more suitable for both of you.
Good luck.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:59
Subject: I think we need to break up
seriously? do you even have a kid or just the kitten. sorry -did I miss that? If not - cry me a river. you are young and this is part of life.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:54
Subject: I think we need to break up
Well, if her really loves you a lot, tell him that you are not ready for marriage.
He's 25, you're 21. You both need time to mature. Give it a couple more years. If things have not changed, then break up.
He's 25, you're 21. You both need time to mature. Give it a couple more years. If things have not changed, then break up.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:50
Subject: I think we need to break up
You've been together less than a year and you are 21? You are CRAZY. Also, never buy someone a pet as a gift. Again, CRAZY!
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:30
Subject: I think we need to break up
Never stay in a relationship because of housing.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:25
Subject: Re:I think we need to break up
OP here -
That wasn't me! All I've given him is a cat
It's because I'm a feminist, liberal, non-believer, isn't it?
boo
He won't be angry. He'll be sad and frustrated and probably will be totally silent the whole time, but I am not afraid he will get mad or become violent or anything.
Thanks everyone who's given me advice so far. This is so hard I hate hurting people and this is easily the most I will ever hurt anyone. I am going to talk to the friend I am moving in with and see if there's ANY way I can move in earlier. Luckily I've been dumped so many times I am starting to think back about what would have made those experiences less painful for me. Short and sweet seems to be the way to go.
I am going to be selfish and ask for the advice and encouragement to keep coming. Thanks!
Did you give him that diamond ring? is that you? I felt badly for you and knew this was going to end soon. I hope it all works out ok. you are doing the right thing to end it.
That wasn't me! All I've given him is a cat
He's too good for you. Tell him soon so he can find the love he deserves.
It's because I'm a feminist, liberal, non-believer, isn't it?
boo
It's your life-you can't stay because he expects you to. Just make sure you are safe-I can't tell if he will be angry?
He won't be angry. He'll be sad and frustrated and probably will be totally silent the whole time, but I am not afraid he will get mad or become violent or anything.
Thanks everyone who's given me advice so far. This is so hard
I hate hurting people and this is easily the most I will ever hurt anyone. I am going to talk to the friend I am moving in with and see if there's ANY way I can move in earlier. Luckily I've been dumped so many times I am starting to think back about what would have made those experiences less painful for me. Short and sweet seems to be the way to go.
I am going to be selfish and ask for the advice and encouragement to keep coming. Thanks!
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:21
Subject: I think we need to break up
Anonymous wrote:Break up with him. I would do it after You move into your new place in Dec. do it early dec before he gets you a Christmas present. You can break up with him by talking about all the points you listed in your post.
No! Do not talk about points in the post. Break-up is not a conversation.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:20
Subject: Re:I think we need to break up
For realsies?Anonymous wrote:He's too good for you. Tell him soon so he can find the love he deserves.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:15
Subject: Re:I think we need to break up
He's too good for you. Tell him soon so he can find the love he deserves.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:11
Subject: I think we need to break up
Did you give him that diamond ring? is that you? I felt badly for you and knew this was going to end soon. I hope it all works out ok. you are doing the right thing to end it.
Anonymous
10/28/2013 17:10
Subject: I think we need to break up
Lots of good advice here, especially the advice to avoid giving a long list of reasons. By the way, it's much easier being the dumper.