Anonymous wrote:

Some women wear menopause on their sleeves.

Huh, are you menopausal?

Finding other people attractive just means that you have a fertile fantasy life. If you recognize this and do not act on it, I do not think there is any harm in it.

There is no reason to think that there is anything wrong with your own marriage if you find someone else attractive. It just means that you are not dead.

Anonymous wrote:I don't find my friends' husbands attractive, even if I can see what my friends like in them. Not that they are ugly people but they are my friends' husbands! Somehow that makes them as appealing as my own family. Would not even consider anything.

+1. It would be incestuous. Cannot even imagine it AT ALL.

Have a single male friend that I've been attracted to ever since we met. Something I keep to myself. Only socialize with him with my DH and children never alone.

Anonymous wrote:I don't find my friends' husbands attractive, even if I can see what my friends like in them. Not that they are ugly people but they are my friends' husbands! Somehow that makes them as appealing as my own family. Would not even consider anything.

Some women wear menopause on their sleeves.

Anonymous wrote:OP, just fantasize about your friend's husband while having sex with DH. You will enjoy it more, and the better sex will almost certainly help other areas of your marriage.

I don't think finding some else attractive has to mean their are issues in your own marriage. My marriage has been better the last 2 years than the 13 years before. I've been attracted to other men the last two years in addition to my husband. Not sure if it the cause or the effect but I'll reap the rewards of a happier marriage

I don't find my friends' husbands attractive, even if I can see what my friends like in them. Not that they are ugly people but they are my friends' husbands! Somehow that makes them as appealing as my own family. Would not even consider anything.

OP, fantasize all you want. I'd recommend leaving your friend and her life alone based on experience. It demeans you as a person who needs to work on your own foundation. My DH recently told me a "friend* recommended he divorce me. He said she badmouthed me and lied about a situation he saw with his own eyes. All the signs were there. He claims she's bat-shit crazy with jealousy. I was fond of this woman for becoming a better parent than her own. I'll continue to wish she seeks happiness that is right in front of her because she is truly blessed. I hope this is helpful to you. Please don't hurt others. You have a choice.

Anonymous wrote:How did that happen! I don't find my friends' husbands attractive.

Same here. They're like brothers in that they're so far off limits to me I can't even see them as possibly attractive men. They're just "Jane's husband." I like them all but attracted to them? NO way.

Honestly, I doubt the man in question here has a mutual attraction to OP. She's just currently unhappy in her marriage and that is causing her to see attraction where it probably isn't. I am not a bad looking woman at all, but I highly doubt any of my friends' husbands are attracted to me for the same reason I am not attracted to them.

OP, just fantasize about your friend's husband while having sex with DH. You will enjoy it more, and the better sex will almost certainly help other areas of your marriage.

How did that happen! I don't find my friends' husbands attractive.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would never ever ever act on some stupid attraction. I am married and so is he. Friend is amazingly wonderful. Yes - demonstrates problems at home with DH. I have no idea how to make things better at home but I am not really attracted to DH right now and am unhappy with our relationship. But 100000 percent guarantee I would never act on anything....

The problem is that this statement belies your 'belief' that you wouldn't act on your apparently mutual attraction....too many examples of well intended folks who let things go too far and use this type situation as an excuse for not having to deal with the core problem between themselves and their spouse.

And nothing in life is guaranteed except death, taxes and the unconditional love of a child

OP here. I would never ever ever act on some stupid attraction. I am married and so is he. Friend is amazingly wonderful. Yes - demonstrates problems at home with DH. I have no idea how to make things better at home but I am not really attracted to DH right now and am unhappy with our relationship. But 100000 percent guarantee I would never act on anything....

This situation is going to go bad quickly. OP, sounds like you actually wish something would happen - not cool.

While it is one thing to think a friend's husband is an attractive individual in general, it is quite another thing to actually say that you are attracted to him and that you suspect it is mutual. This sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

I would seriously re-consider being friends w/this lady.
In all honesty, you do not sound like someone who is a loyal friend and the more time you spend in her company as well as her husband's, the bigger chance that something inappropriate may happen.

Why is it depressing? Neither of you should do anything about it if you are committed to other people.